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In this thread you ask how to behave in restaurants and other locations, and people who have been... - Page 9

post #121 of 481
Now really a question, but relevant to the thread:

Misbehaving or being rude because one is simply unfamiliar with a situation is infinitely more forgiveable than being a well-mannered, uptight snob. I hate even being near people too caught up with sniffing the rarefied air around them to actually enjoy themselves, laugh, and be just silly enough to lighten the mood.
post #122 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by NorCal View Post

Nothing.
If you realize early enough on in the experience that this guys sucks just leave. If you realize it too late leave a poor tip and if it is really bad leave a note/talk to the manager.
Most importantly, just keep that shit in perspective, don't eat there again, make a few jokes with your date about it and move on.

So this brings to mind another question. Who has been seated but then gotten up and left? I have a few times for being seated in a non-dinner rush time and getting ignored by the staff for 10-15 minutes. Another time I left after waiting 50 minutes for a shrimp appy. That time the owner actually came over and said it would just be another ten minutes and I was silly to leave now. I told him "silly" was not walking over to ask me to stay for a completely comp'ed meal. He said my wait didn't justify that so I told him it did justify my never returning and telling anyone that asks my opinion of the place about this fiasco. I've never been back and told at least a dozen people that asked me about the place. I saw the place was closed down about six months ago and like to think I did my little part in that.
post #123 of 481
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Edited by Louis XIV - 10/12/11 at 11:22pm
post #124 of 481
Since this club is limited to 1000 members, and descendants automatically become members, are the members limited in their abiilty to breed by the club?
post #125 of 481
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Edited by Louis XIV - 10/12/11 at 11:22pm
post #126 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by Louis XIV View Post

1. As I walk down the streets in my hometown I do greet everyone which I encounter, known to myself or not, with "Good day".
A lot of people give me a grin or respond with a similiar term to what I used, but there are also those who look at you, examine you from tip to toe and just pass you with an arrogant look on their face.
I find myself clenching my fists everytime I experience it and sometimes even am eager to turn around after they passed me and tell them they shouldn't be so snobbish.
What would your reaction be? Just don't care for those poor souls?
You are from Germany, right? Maybe northern Germany? Then it's completely normal. People here are often very, very uncomunicative, ignorant and absent-minded. Plus, they are very agressive. Old people, young people, doesn't matter. I do think this is because of some antidepressants. No other explanation for it. They don't thank you if you do them a favour like stepping out of their way when they are on their bycicle creeping behind you on a narrow sidewalk, not ringing; they will run into you if you don't step aside on a big sidewalk. They don't look you in the eyes when there is some kind of problem developing, e.g. when walking towards each other. They will look straight at the ground, heading forward. And if you don't step aside and they actually bump into you they will look agressively to you, grumble something and head on. I see those people like 10-20 times a day, maybe more often.
Just my two cents even if it might be not directly what you described. This is just a poor attitude. And they aren't even aware of it.
In southern Germany you shouldn't face such an attitude you described that often as folks are more communicative. Although there might still be some snobbish senior settlements in the countryside where you might not get an "Good day" back. But this is no regional thing, it also happens in southern Europe like Spain where people normally are very extroverted. Maybe they won't ignore your greeting but they will be snobby in other ways.
post #127 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by Louis XIV View Post

Ok,

I have two more questions:

1. As I walk down the streets in my hometown I do greet everyone which I encounter, known to myself or not, with "Good day".
A lot of people give me a grin or respond with a similiar term to what I used, but there are also those who look at you, examine you from tip to toe and just pass you with an arrogant look on their face.
I find myself clenching my fists everytime I experience it and sometimes even am eager to turn around after they passed me and tell them they shouldn't be so snobbish.
What would your reaction be? Just don't care for those poor souls?

2. Since both my grandfather and father were members of the local golf club as a descendant I automatically became member of the club as well.
It is a fairly small club with only 1000 permanent members in it.
People who aren't one of those 1000 can buy a yearly green fee, but they won't be able to join the club before somebody else leaves.
I am just 23 years old and to me golf is sport rather than business or socializing.
I go there to improve my game and therefore I sometimes don't wear a belt or pants which might look to casual for those who rate etiquette above anything but it's the way I feel the most agile in.
Also I am not into clubs and socities, so most of the fellow club members don't know my face.
This way I have experienced uncountable encounters where people would come up to myself and introduce themselves as somebody very important - "My name is Prof.Dr. XYZ and I am the CEO of so and so or my name is [enter title of nobility of choice along with 3 to 15 given names] What's your name? What are you doing here? Are you even member of the Club?"
Even when I do understand where their suspiciousness comes from I feel they are acting very rude and as if they are talking down to me.
I am just as short-spoken with them as possible and persue my game.
Also it is kind of funny to see most of the people acting like that actually sit on the lists of yearly membership rather than the permanent one they are eagerly longing for when you return to the club house and check their names.
As a member I have a veto right I can use against anyone willing to join the club I feel is inapproriate just like everybody has the right to bail for future members to improve their chances for a swifty admission, but honestly I can't image myself ever making use of it.
Still I'd like to bounce back on those snobs as well, any ideas?
Am I just not old and relaxed enough to stand above such things and should ignore it?

WTF is this? The internet fucked you up big time boy. I suggest canceling your connection and wandering the black forest for a few days.
post #128 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post

Since this club is limited to 1000 members, and descendants automatically become members, are the members limited in their abiilty to breed by the club?

Being a golfer severely limits your ability to breed anyway...
post #129 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post


So this brings to mind another question. Who has been seated but then gotten up and left? I have a few times for being seated in a non-dinner rush time and getting ignored by the staff for 10-15 minutes. Another time I left after waiting 50 minutes for a shrimp appy. That time the owner actually came over and said it would just be another ten minutes and I was silly to leave now. I told him "silly" was not walking over to ask me to stay for a completely comp'ed meal. He said my wait didn't justify that so I told him it did justify my never returning and telling anyone that asks my opinion of the place about this fiasco. I've never been back and told at least a dozen people that asked me about the place. I saw the place was closed down about six months ago and like to think I did my little part in that.
I have. Got seated, but it was on an off-night rush period. Sat 15 minutes, without even a word from our waitress. No acknowledgement whatsoever. Not even a "Hey, sorry, I'm really busy I'll be back in a couple of minutes." Just nothing. So we took off.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuuma View Post


Your problem is probably that you're a deutschbag. Good day sir.

laugh.gif
post #130 of 481
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Edited by Louis XIV - 10/12/11 at 11:22pm
post #131 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by Louis XIV View Post

Hi b1os,

thanks for your reply!
Yes, I am from German, Hessen to be more precise, but I have experienced this exact behaviour everywhere from Bavaria, where most of my family comes from, up far north to Sylt, people seem to have very unfulfilled lives to show such behaviour.
Of course, everybody has a bad day some times, but is it the strangers fault which greets me on the street?
Definitely not, quite the opposite, I am thankful for every piece of unexpected amiability, it is what finally makes turn my mood into being good again.
Also, just as you said, people seem to forget being nice to others will make themselves being treated nicely as well.
Having a grin and some kind words for everyone just makes life so much easier.
I love the happy face old people show when you offer them your seat or help them in the supermarket, either to read a discription or to reach for something too far up or down for them being able to reach it.
Those things cost us young people nothing more than a few seconds of time which we would otherways just waste behind a PC and in return we will make somebody else happy for the rest of the day, isn't it lovely?
I just don't understand so few people notice what they could achieve if they would just let it happen.

@Fuuma, what are you trying to tell me?

Fritz, delete yourself now. This isn't a thread for your 1920s high society fantasies. We want actual examples and questions not some silly attempt at online recognition. Go watch some Heino vids on youtube or something.

here:
post #132 of 481
I've heard that in Europe only German professors still walk in the old court manner (sort of a slow goose step/kick with hands held behind the back).
post #133 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwilkinson View Post

I have. Got seated, but it was on an off-night rush period. Sat 15 minutes, without even a word from our waitress. No acknowledgement whatsoever. Not even a "Hey, sorry, I'm really busy I'll be back in a couple of minutes." Just nothing. So we took off.


laugh.gif
I hate something like that. My dad and I went into a hip café a couple of weeks ago. Been there a few times, always good/okay service. This time we enter, want to order something at the counter. Place wasn't too full. The barista is busy making a few espressi. She glances at us. That's it. She completely ignored us. We were the only ones in the line. After three minutes she finally asked us what she can get us. No "Sorry you had to wait", no "Sorry, need to finish these first, will get your order in a minute" in the beginning. She prefered to do her job about 1 metre away from us and ignoring us. How can you more directly show that the customers are unwanted?
In another street café the waiters are so inattentive they don't ask you if they can get you a refill or so after your glass is empty for half an hour. I even caught them once or twice glancing at the empty glasses but ultimately ignoring it. Three people, three empty glasses, one is able to beg for a refill, waiter says okays and doesn't even look or ask whether the other ones at the table want something, too. They could like double their orders if they had attentive waiters. Only reason they survive is because of the great location. Much sun (if there is any in Hamburg..). We still give normal tip, like 10%, sometimes a bit more. But actually they deserve the minimum. But it would be a bummer as there are one or two attentive ones among like 5 others. As they split their tipping it would be kinda unfair for the endeavouring ones.

@Fuuma:
I think he has a point. Maybe US and European societies are different but it actually is well mannered in Europe if you are vigilant in everyday life. One good deed a day is no bad attempt. Greeting when you are taking a walk in nature and crossing other people every quarter hour should be standard. But apparently they often get frightened when one says "Hello" "Good day" "Hallo" "Grüetzi" "Salut" or whatever. Even the elder ones. Greeting in a small village should be normal, too. Greeting everyone in a large city might be a bit awkward.
post #134 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by mordecai View Post

I've heard that in Europe only German professors still walk in the old court manner (sort of a slow goose step/kick with hands held behind the back).

I sometimes walk with my hands held behind my back, some people think I am showing poise, other merely surmise that I am a cunt. Not sure the former are right.
post #135 of 481
I was standing with my hands behind me once and my asshole boss told me that I looked like a security guard, then continued that it was obvious that I didn't read poetry.
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Styleforum › Forums › Culture › Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel › In this thread you ask how to behave in restaurants and other locations, and people who have been out in public answer.