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What's the deal with this guy in the bathroom? (Public Bathroom Etiquette) - Page 42

post #616 of 1373
Thread Starter 
I hate those people who come flying into the bathroom and throw the door open really hard so it comes flying at you. Fucking assholes, they are. They know there are people on the other side.
post #617 of 1373
Crosspost from "Things that are pissing you off":

Every fucking person in the small accounting firm next to our office we share our bathroom with have some kind of fucked up bathroom habit.

Woman 1: Opens a new roll of toilet paper every time she goes to the bathroom and leaves water all over the counter top when washing hands.

Woman 2: She is fat. Fat people poo typically stinks moreso than non-fat people. Unfortunately she does not like using the exhaust fan when going #2.

Man 1: Husband of Woman 2. Man 1 is also fat. Often leaves skid-marks in toilet bowl. Likely as a result of poor diet. But otherwise ok.

Man 2: Semi-fat guy with cane. Because he is mobility-challenged, probably has issues going to bathroom. As a result, urinates all over the bowl and floor of the toilet and cannot bend over to clean up. It is readily apparent that he has used the toilet when you enter and inhale a whiff of fresh urine. Man 2 also often requires a second round of wiping after bowel movements, after which he does not flush the used toilet paper letting the next person discover the (clearly used) wad waiting in the bowl.
post #618 of 1373
Thread Starter 
Why isn't this thread pinned?
post #619 of 1373
there's a guy on my floor who insists on urinating directly into the water pool of the urinal. Fine, whatever, but he is young so the force is still very strong and as a result it's very loud. You can hear it in the hallway should you walk by, I'm not sure why he decided that is the optimal method.
post #620 of 1373

just found this goldmine of a thread, props pB

post #621 of 1373

This was a really entertaining thread, read it from page 1. I have quite a bit of stool stories of my own, but I think I will start off in the beginning.

 

It was the year 1994, I was only a lad. My mother took me to Taiwan for the summer, up until this point I had not left the states before so I was unfamiliar with other countries. Upon arriving I noticed a few things; firstly there was no central air conditioning, secondly it was very hot, and thirdly western "sitting" toilets where very scarce. I remember at a tea house I suddenly felt the urge to squat one out, a big one. I felt a rumble in my intestines that had enough 'oomph' to put ripples my tea. The red alert sirens and lights where going off in me, I knew that I could not contain this one. Sweating cold sweat I abruptly stood up, and ask the waitress where the restroom is. While I was briskly walking I was narrowing down the list of what could have caused this. I blamed the water, it went through me like a armor piercing bullet.

 

Bursting through the doors I find to my horror that there are no toilets to be found, there is only stalls with little "Urinals" implanted into the floor. This was all very foreign to me but now was not the time for curiosity I had to act! I unzipped my pants and squatted, trying to get my aim. I could not inch that much to the lip of the toilet for fear of defecating on my own trousers. (Interesting note: I cannot squat flat footed, most people in Asia can. I guess for this very reason) After double checking my calculations and guaranteeing my aim was true I let 'er rip. Satisfied, I stood up and buttoned my pants back on. Turning around I looked into the bowl, I wanted to gaze at the culprit who caused me so much agony face to face but I saw nothing in the bowl. Puzzled I scanned around the room and woe behold, I see a...mountain of turd right at the very lip of the toilet, it did not go in. Unfazed I puffed my chest out as it was not a bad first try, I nonchalantly grabbed some toilet paper and tossed it on the swirly turd (You know the ice cream you get at buffet's that come out of a vending vending machine and they always have that little tail at the end?) and "Kicked" it in the toilet. Only the turd was not solid enough to punt, so my "GOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLL" Was cut short. Needless to say the feces 'smeared' about 4 inches, most of it fell into the toilet but it was still a mess. Defeated, I quickly washed my hands and left. I told my mom that I wanted to leave and made up some BS reason, and we high tailed it out of there.

post #622 of 1373
Quote:
Originally Posted by sonick View Post

Man 2: Semi-fat guy with cane. Because he is mobility-challenged, probably has issues going to bathroom. As a result, urinates all over the bowl and floor of the toilet and cannot bend over to clean up. It is readily apparent that he has used the toilet when you enter and inhale a whiff of fresh urine. Man 2 also often requires a second round of wiping after bowel movements, after which he does not flush the used toilet paper letting the next person discover the (clearly used) wad waiting in the bowl.

Addendum. Man 2 somehow got piss on the bottom of the toilet seat. When I went in to lift the seat up, I may have grazed some of his urine.

ffffuuuu.gifffffuuuu.gifffffuuuu.gif
post #623 of 1373
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickBOOTH View Post

Men of the forvm, the stars have alligned and the God's have answered. Today I received the best Christmas gift a man could ever ask for. What is it you ask? Well, the search is over. I caught this motherfucker and there is a bit of a story to go along with it. I have been going into the stall next to the culprit stall in hopes of catching him. Well, today during my morning poop I hear somebody come in and go to the sink and get paper towels and run the water. I thought nothing of it. Then he enters the stall next to me and I notice immediately the shoes that enter. Black patent leather boots. Like a cop would wear. I am thinking to myself how ugly they are and then a hand reaches down holding a soapy paper towel and start wiping them down. I am thinking, what a fucking nutjob. He leaves the boots all soapy while he finishes his business and then dries them off with another piece of paper towel. Then leaves and shuts the fucking stall door with the paper towel. I was so excited I shit again. This is the person who I have been thinking it is too.
I will tell you it is one of the only people that is in my building that doesn't work for the company. He works for a small company that rents office space from us.
It is done. From here on out the unofficial title of this thread shall be, "Public Restrooms - The People We Encounter" Share all of your stories.
Goodnight, and good luck.
1a9179d3.jpg

damn.....I sat through 6 pages of this mess (max posts per page) and finally came to the answer. lol
post #624 of 1373
Quote:
Originally Posted by gomestar View Post

there's a guy on my floor who insists on urinating directly into the water pool of the urinal. Fine, whatever, but he is young so the force is still very strong and as a result it's very loud. You can hear it in the hallway should you walk by, I'm not sure why he decided that is the optimal method.

Alpha male and toilets cred man..icon_gu_b_slayer[1].gif
post #625 of 1373
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by gomestar View Post

there's a guy on my floor who insists on urinating directly into the water pool of the urinal. Fine, whatever, but he is young so the force is still very strong and as a result it's very loud. You can hear it in the hallway should you walk by, I'm not sure why he decided that is the optimal method.

Gome, how old are you? In my mind you're like 30.
post #626 of 1373
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by whochrisliu View Post

This was a really entertaining thread, read it from page 1. I have quite a bit of stool stories of my own, but I think I will start off in the beginning.

It was the year 1994, I was only a lad. My mother took me to Taiwan for the summer, up until this point I had not left the states before so I was unfamiliar with other countries. Upon arriving I noticed a few things; firstly there was no central air conditioning, secondly it was very hot, and thirdly western "sitting" toilets where very scarce. I remember at a tea house I suddenly felt the urge to squat one out, a big one. I felt a rumble in my intestines that had enough 'oomph' to put ripples my tea. The red alert sirens and lights where going off in me, I knew that I could not contain this one. Sweating cold sweat I abruptly stood up, and ask the waitress where the restroom is. While I was briskly walking I was narrowing down the list of what could have caused this. I blamed the water, it went through me like a armor piercing bullet.

Bursting through the doors I find to my horror that there are no toilets to be found, there is only stalls with little "Urinals" implanted into the floor. This was all very foreign to me but now was not the time for curiosity I had to act! I unzipped my pants and squatted, trying to get my aim. I could not inch that much to the lip of the toilet for fear of defecating on my own trousers. (Interesting note: I cannot squat flat footed, most people in Asia can. I guess for this very reason) After double checking my calculations and guaranteeing my aim was true I let 'er rip. Satisfied, I stood up and buttoned my pants back on. Turning around I looked into the bowl, I wanted to gaze at the culprit who caused me so much agony face to face but I saw nothing in the bowl. Puzzled I scanned around the room and woe behold, I see a...mountain of turd right at the very lip of the toilet, it did not go in. Unfazed I puffed my chest out as it was not a bad first try, I nonchalantly grabbed some toilet paper and tossed it on the swirly turd (You know the ice cream you get at buffet's that come out of a vending vending machine and they always have that little tail at the end?) and "Kicked" it in the toilet. Only the turd was not solid enough to punt, so my "GOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLL" Was cut short. Needless to say the feces 'smeared' about 4 inches, most of it fell into the toilet but it was still a mess. Defeated, I quickly washed my hands and left. I told my mom that I wanted to leave and made up some BS reason, and we high tailed it out of there.

This made my day. I have always wondered about the squat toilets. I would take my pants clear off if I encountered one.
post #627 of 1373
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickBOOTH View Post

Gome, how old are you? In my mind you're like 30.

26
post #628 of 1373
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by gomestar View Post

26

Oh shit. We are the same age.
post #629 of 1373
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickBOOTH View Post

This made my day. I have always wondered about the squat toilets. I would take my pants clear off if I encountered one.

Great thread and the above had me howling so much I nearly p
d myself?
More laughs please whilst I think of similar.
post #630 of 1373
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickBOOTH View Post

Oh shit. We are the same age.

icon_gu_b_slayer[1].gif

if that isn't an excuse to "trek" up to Crush and pick up some Bachelet, then I just don't know what is.
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