Originally Posted by otc
Subscribed because this boggles my mind.
All I've got is...the person who can't seem to stand close enough to the urinal to keep the floor piss free.
It's a guy with a big gut. He is standing with his gut close to the urinal, but this means that his penis is farther back. So whereas a thin guy close to the urinal dribbles his last drops into that little lip of the urinal and down the drain, your more rotund man dribbles onto the floor. To find the culprit, first finger (not literally) the fattest guy in the office and work your way down, eliminating suspects as you go. And that's how we play Peepee Detective!
As for Paper Man, I am not 100% sold on the cleanfreak angle. Mightn't a real cleanfreak avoid the office bathroom at all costs? Or, at least, wouldn't a cleanfreak put paper in all
the doors, thus increasing the likelihood that one would go unused, of which he then could avail himself? In this case it's always one door, and one door only, which is papered - and not always the same door. No, I am thinking our man may be a "post poop paperer," marking his territory after the deed is done, or perhaps even sending a message to his successors in interest, is what I think.