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What's the deal with this guy in the bathroom? (Public Bathroom Etiquette) - Page 68

post #1006 of 1342
Quote:
Originally Posted by itsstillmatt View Post

Is the graphic for front cleaning a pair of balls?

I don't know, but I will report back if it is indeed the case

"after use, my balls looked most excellent"
post #1007 of 1342
another brother story. We were in London and stopped into a Starbucks to caffeine up and to drop a quick one. It was one of those toilets where you pull a cord that is dangling from the ceiling. Another arms length away is a bright red pull cord that has a "handicap emergency" tag on it. He's in there while I'm at the register, and all of a sudden this big buzz appears at the register and startles everybody. I look over to the bathroom and see him scurry out in shame. "Dude, I pulled the wrong cord." "We heard."


now he says that he "had no choice but to alert everyone that it was time to flush"
post #1008 of 1342
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickBOOTH View Post

I have my thoughts. They are kind of long winded, but I don't think I am going to post them here because it will derail the thread and I might get pegged as a racist. I'll tell you at Morimoto.

there's a thread for that
post #1009 of 1342
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickBOOTH View Post

I have my thoughts. They are kind of long winded, but I don't think I am going to post them here because it will derail the thread and I might get pegged as a racist. I'll tell you at Morimoto.


I imagine part of it is that white people are a bit more afraid of germs than other folks. Whether or not this can be traced to socioeconomic factors, WASP-ish sensibilities, or a combination thereof is another line of inquiry. Dream last night involving urination, Nazis, and Patrick Stewart (written down so I don't forget) (Click to show)


On a side note, I had a dream last night where I was living in a hotel in South Africa. Jeremy Lin's family had a kimbab restaurant near the hotel and I got him to autograph a steak. I randomly meet an old friend and his new girlfriend at the hotel. In the elevator (which is old), the friend starts jumping up and down, which causes the elevator cable to snap and we fall 10 floors (but all survive). Another group of friends come to try and find us and get in the newly installed elevator. Somehow we couldn't communicate with them trying to tell them not to and they stumble upon us on a rooftop compound filled with...Nazis in suspended animation. And whatever the program was, they were hiring. We had tried to warn them off (we were already there) so that they could dress appropriately for the interview. Somehow I stopped being the initial group and was part of the new group. I looked down and was pissed to see that of all days not to dress appropriately, I had picked today (because unconsciously I want to be employed by a Nazi scheme? I hope not). I was wearing a green button up and yellow pants. I think we decided not to even bother interviewing...not because they were Nazis but because we weren't dressed properly. 

After deciding not to interview, we proceeded to try and escape the multilevel compound (3-4 levels...with all the Nazis frozen on the first floor). Also, there were Cher wigs all over the ground (does that mean I'm a closeted homosexual?) There were rows of bathrooms on one of the floors, and several of us tried to use them only to find that the floor fell through when we flushed. Because of this, I opted to urinate in a corner. When chastised, I opined that this was a Nazi compound so I could pee wherever I liked and still be in good taste.

Everyone ran away (upward) and for some reason I ran down. A couple of Nazis were looking for me (they had become unfrozen and mobilized), so I hid between a couch and a wall. They got close, and at this point I realized I was dreaming and with the way in which logic gets fucked up in dreams, I decided that if I convinced the Nazis that I was dreaming inside the actual dream, they would for some reason realize they were dreams and leave me alone? Anyway, this involved trying to sleep and dream whilst hiding from Nazis. I think I was found at one point but they didn't do anything (so I guess the dream strategy worked). Eventually I open my eyes when I think they've stopped looking to find Professor X AND Jean Luc Picard sitting at the couch waiting for me to come up (as rescuers, not Nazi sympathizers).

Edited by Claghorn - 2/6/13 at 2:22am
post #1010 of 1342
You're a fuckin weird dude, Clag. I like that about you.
post #1011 of 1342
so i was just at the urinal doing my thing, and one of the managing directors pulls up two urinals from me (note the appropriate buffer zone). I don't work with him, and he probably doesn't know who I am, but I'm not paying attention and a fart slips out. Nobody else was there and the bathroom was dead silent otherwise. God damn it.

how he'll probably pass me in the halls and think "that's the dude that ripped one at the urinal"
post #1012 of 1342
I am the most immature motherfucker when it comes to farts. They will always be funny to me, no matter what situation I'm in or how old I get.

Lulz
post #1013 of 1342
I think I've told this story before, but a while ago I was perched at the urinal and some guy was in the stall, nothing unusual. On purpose I cut a giant one, so big that it even surprised me, and the guy in the stall started to laugh.
post #1014 of 1342
Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenFrog View Post

I am the most immature motherfucker when it comes to farts. They will always be funny to me, no matter what situation I'm in or how old I get.

Lulz
have fun
post #1015 of 1342
Quote:
Originally Posted by gomestar View Post

so i was just at the urinal doing my thing, and one of the managing directors pulls up two urinals from me (note the appropriate buffer zone). I don't work with him, and he probably doesn't know who I am, but I'm not paying attention and a fart slips out. Nobody else was there and the bathroom was dead silent otherwise. God damn it.

how he'll probably pass me in the halls and think "that's the dude that ripped one at the urinal"

you have to diffuse that situation. next time, look at the guy and be like "Mexican for lunch. Ugh." Have a slightly pained face, make a relieved noise, and make a 9 out of 10 times he'll respond with something like "Yeah, been there..."
post #1016 of 1342
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rambo View Post

you have to diffuse that situation. next time, look at the guy and be like "Mexican for lunch. Ugh." Have a slightly pained face, make a relieved noise, and make a 9 out of 10 times he'll respond with something like "Yeah, been there..."

lol8[1].gif
post #1017 of 1342
Thread Starter 
So I saw the cleaning lady and was in the elevator with her. She had this giant cart full of these rolls of paper. I felt like suggesting the rotation, but figured I should stick to my own job. She, of course, replaced the half full roll with a brand new one. My marks are still in tact and possibly there to stay.
post #1018 of 1342
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickBOOTH View Post

So I saw the cleaning lady and was in the elevator with her. She had this giant cart full of these rolls of paper. I felt like suggesting the rotation, but figured I should stick to my own job. She, of course, replaced the half full roll with a brand new one. My marks are still in tact and possibly there to stay.

You should have at least inquired about the method behind her madness! I feel had she been sticking toilet paper in stall doors, you never would have left such an opportunity slip by.

post #1019 of 1342
Quote:
Originally Posted by gomestar View Post

I think I've told this story before, but a while ago I was perched at the urinal and some guy was in the stall, nothing unusual. On purpose I cut a giant one, so big that it even surprised me, and the guy in the stall started to laugh.

I most absolutely would have laughed too. Just imagining the scenario makes me laugh, lols.

Except in my experiences at the urinal, it's the other way around: some poor SOB is delivering his very own fecal fetus and rips out a wet, LOUD fart. I snortchuckle (snortle?) and my penis flails around as a result.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gomestar View Post

have fun

JACK VALE!! I love his shit! I've followed the dude since, like, forever.

His paranoid series is fantastic as well.

Although, since he's gotten a bit more popular lately, he isn't as funny anymore :/ Typical.
post #1020 of 1342
Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenFrog View Post

Although, since he's gotten a bit more popular lately, he isn't as funny anymore :/ Typical.

he's only good for the fart stuff.




i've asked for a Pooter for the past few years for Christmas from the wife. I don't have one yet. My birthday is coming up in March.
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