or Connect
Styleforum › Forums › Culture › Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel › How To Engage Shy Women - 2nd Date
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

How To Engage Shy Women - 2nd Date

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
Gents -

Am going on a 2nd date with a girl tonight who is pretty shy...Normally not my type but we had a first date a few weeks back and had a great time with her. I also spent most of the time asking her questions, and am a little fearful that I won't be able to come up with topics on our date tonight. We are going ice skating and then grabbing sushi, and was wondering if you guys could throw good ideas at me about topics to bring up to engage her and to get her to continue to open up.

Thanks much,
D
post #2 of 11
Don't fraternity studs have some standard method of "engaging" shy women? Assuming for a moment, all stereotypes aside, that you want to get to know her better, not seduce her, there really isn't much to say. The best you can do is to try and make her comfortable around you. Try to be interested in whatever she might decide to talk about. Genuinely compliment her. Note that I did not say pretend to be interested or feed her a compliment. If you have to pretend to be interested, it probably won't work out. You think she's boring, insipid, vapid, or you just generally have nothing in common. And compliments that sound like pick up lines are never a good idea. If you find yourself taking the "easy way out" and recycling lines that you've used before on other girls, you are probably just after sex. And sex is much easier to get from non-shy girls, you are wasting your time. All that aside, this is my best advice: Catch her off guard. Open up and share something personal about yourself that not everyone knows. Maybe you paint, maybe you write poetry. Who knows. If she feels like you are opening up to her, maybe she will open up to you Let us know how it works out.
post #3 of 11
Wow man, I thought you'd forgotten us. What have you been up to?

Honestly, I suggest choosing activities that avoid the need for talking too much. Ice skating is a great idea, movies, etc. This way she will get comfortable being around you and eventually will open up. (Hopefully.)
post #4 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by j
Wow man, I thought you'd forgotten us. What have you been up to?

For some reason, I remember this guy, too.

Just talk incessantly but not about yourself. Talk about what's going on around you, people watching, the stupid tricks you try to do on your skates, how you're way out of your league at a fancy sushi place, etc. If you're humble, she'll feel more comfortable. If you don't try to dig into her past and make her talk about herself, she'll feel more comfortable. Good luck.
post #5 of 11
well, from what some of the banned posts have you believe, anal sex and fish don't mix so plan accordingly.
post #6 of 11
Thread Starter 
things went very well last night...thanks for the advice...
post #7 of 11
did she come out of her shell?
post #8 of 11
If she's shy she might be nervous about looking silly or acting like a fool. Or feel that maybe you're above her standards and she's intimidated. I'd use some humor and maybe make fun of myself here and there...show her you're not perfect either but that's cool. We can both laugh at it. I've found it's really easy to disarm people and get them to open up if you expose a weakness. It brings out the human factor.
post #9 of 11
I would like to refer you to this thread: "What's in your liquor cabinet? "
post #10 of 11
By all means, ask her questions. But don't turn it into an interrogation. That'll only make her nervous and self-conscious.
post #11 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by ken
Quote:
Originally Posted by j
Wow man, I thought you'd forgotten us. What have you been up to?
For some reason, I remember this guy, too.
Whatever you talk about, STDs are not a good subject for the first date. Unless you're dipping your pen in the company ink, in which case you might be doing yourself a favour. Sorry, couldn't resist!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
Styleforum › Forums › Culture › Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel › How To Engage Shy Women - 2nd Date