First Suit for my bros wedding

Hey bros, I was told to come here to ask for help with my first suit. I'm 33 and never worn one before. Frankly, I'm too busy either at the gym with my bros, or looking fantastic on the beach, but hey I got my bros wedding so I want to look slick as ****.

I tried on some merona suits at tar-jhey and none seem to fit my ridiculously fit alpha male of a body. My dry cleaner told me that I have sloping shoulders so I should get a Tom Ford suit to build them up. I tried one on and you could fit a dead baby between the collar and my neck, and maybe a fat kid or five in the waist. Why is everything so huge? Not all Americans are fat and lazy! Lolzxl! I also have what she called a "drop 24", whatever that means. Whenever I'm not in a bathing suit my enomous man thighs rub holes through the legs, so maybe I should get some tapered slim fit pants?

My dry cleaner took in my shirts ok to fit me since my neck is 36 inches around the body was like a tent. I hate how everything at Brooks bros is so big! Brooks is so not myyy bro!

My bros tell me to get a suit made, but I don't have time for that ****, I work out every day for 23 hours then ******** with chicks for the other hour. Just no time.

Any suggestions for where to get a suit that will show off my sex body like whoa? I want a black one btw? Try and keep it under $200 I ain't no baller, probably no difference either. Also, will my black Hush Puppies be cool? Don't worry, I got a red tie, I ain't that dumb! Lozoxl!!

just awful, what happened to the funny trolls/socks

I'm speechless.

Troll and ignorant with it.

Perhaps a faint shadow of metro?

Originally Posted by Muscle_Beach

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Hey bros, I was told to come here to ask for help with my first suit. I'm 33 and never worn one before. Frankly, I'm too busy either at the gym with my bros, or looking fantastic on the beach, but hey I got my bros wedding so I want to look slick as ****.

I tried on some merona suits at tar-jhey and none seem to fit my ridiculously fit alpha male of a body. My dry cleaner told me that I have sloping shoulders so I should get a Tom Ford suit to build them up. I tried one on and you could fit a dead baby between the collar and my neck, and maybe a fat kid or five in the waist. Why is everything so huge? Not all Americans are fat and lazy! Lolzxl! I also have what she called a "drop 24", whatever that means. Whenever I'm not in a bathing suit my enomous man thighs rub holes through the legs, so maybe I should get some tapered slim fit pants?

My dry cleaner took in my shirts ok to fit me since my neck is 36 inches around the body was like a tent. I hate how everything at Brooks bros is so big! Brooks is so not myyy bro!

My bros tell me to get a suit made, but I don't have time for that ****, I work out every day for 23 hours then ******** with chicks for the other hour. Just no time.

Any suggestions for where to get a suit that will show off my sex body like whoa? I want a black one btw? Try and keep it under $200 I ain't no baller, probably no difference either. Also, will my black Hush Puppies be cool? Don't worry, I got a red tie, I ain't that dumb! Lozoxl!!

I hope this is a satirical critique of the current trolls on SF.

Get the suit from Target. Use safety pins to close all gaps. That is the secret to a good fit.

Bro...

Originally Posted by js4design

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I hope this is a satirical critique of the current trolls on SF.

That's so meta.

Originally Posted by js4design

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I hope this is a satirical critique of the current trolls on SF.
Meta-trolling, now that would be something. edit: dammit, what he said ^ serves me right for not reading all the way to the end first.

Not even somewhat entertaining.

finally something funny!

I kind of thought it was funny.

Originally Posted by Valor

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Perhaps a faint shadow of metro?

My socks are better than this crap.

Originally Posted by Sanguis Mortuum

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That's so meta.
Yeah. But really ham-fisted with all the subtlety of Michael Bay. Can't tell if it's metrostyles or arrogant bastard.