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Do you wish for your children a dream you yourself have not achieved?

post #1 of 25
7/2/11 at 10:02pm
Thread Starter 
Just curious. I don't have children but this comes up in conversation with my girlfriend.
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post #2 of 25
7/2/11 at 10:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pantisocrat View Post
Just curious. I don't have children but this comes up in conversation with my girlfriend.

Nothing wrong with wishing, as long as you don't impose it on them but encourage them to pursue their dreams...
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post #3 of 25
7/2/11 at 10:20pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mkarim View Post
Nothing wrong with wishing, as long as you don't impose it on them but encourage them to pursue their dreams...

My experience is that very few children have dreams. They need to be directed in certain ways until they are old enough to know factors contributing to lasting happiness.
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post #4 of 25
7/2/11 at 10:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pantisocrat View Post
My experience is that very few children have dreams. They need to be directed in certain ways until they are old enough to know factors contributing to lasting happiness.

True. But the problem is that today's kids don't want direction. They're into the "it's my life and I will do whatever I want" mindset. Then they wonder why they screwed up... :-)
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post #5 of 25
7/2/11 at 10:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pantisocrat View Post
My experience is that very few children have dreams. They need to be directed in certain ways until they are old enough to know factors contributing to lasting happiness.
You need to spend more time around children if you think that most don't have dreams.
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post #6 of 25
7/2/11 at 10:26pm
Thread Starter 
Yes but I do think parents can change that to some extent....
Quote:
Originally Posted by mkarim View Post
True. But the problem is that today's kids don't want direction. They're into the "it's my life and I will do whatever I want" mindset. Then they wonder why they screwed up... :-)
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post #7 of 25
7/2/11 at 10:31pm
My perspective may change as my son gets older (he's an infant), but, as of right now, all I want for him is happiness. It would be cool if he ends up as a brilliant writer, or a professional athlete, or whatever, but as long as he can look me in the eye when he's an adult and say "dad, I'm truly happy with where my life has ended up," I don't care if he's a janitor.
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post #8 of 25
7/2/11 at 11:30pm
before my first child was maybe 3 or 4, I had some ideas of what I wanted for him that was more really about what I would like.

then I got to see what he is like, and what would be better for him. I have some dreams for him that are better fits for him than they would have been for me.
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post #9 of 25
7/3/11 at 12:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pantisocrat View Post
Yes but I do think parents can change that to some extent....

And potentially do a lot of damage in the process.

It's obvious you don't have children.
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post #10 of 25
7/3/11 at 12:52am
I am going to push them to not be like me; this is a good enough wish as any other.

They must be nerds in the hard sciences and not in the humanities; that's a feasible path to having the best of both worlds: getting paid handsomely to do what you love.
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post #11 of 25
7/3/11 at 1:04am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pantisocrat View Post
My experience is that very few children have dreams. They need to be directed in certain ways until they are old enough to know factors contributing to lasting happiness.
Most children do, in fact, have dreams. They stop dreaming at a point in their lives when cynical adults or peers trash them for dreaming, which ends up killing their ambition in many cases.
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post #12 of 25
7/3/11 at 1:07am
No kids yet, but yes. It's not like I'd be disappointed if they don't, but I would want them to go to at least an equivalent if not better college and to have more opportunities to explore activities in life. (I know, college name isn't the end all be all). My parents gave me more opportunities than they had and I would wish to do the same. What they choose to do in life afterwards is their own thing, but I want them to at least have as good of odds as possible coming out of the gates. A specific life goal? No.
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post #13 of 25
7/3/11 at 1:14am
World domination.
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post #14 of 25
7/3/11 at 1:16am
I secretly wish my future kid could play college baseball/softball so I could live vicariously through them :\\.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrG View Post
My perspective may change as my son gets older (he's an infant), but, as of right now, all I want for him is happiness. It would be cool if he ends up as a brilliant writer, or a professional athlete, or whatever, but as long as he can look me in the eye when he's an adult and say "dad, I'm truly happy with where my life has ended up," I don't care if he's a janitor.

+1
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post #15 of 25
7/3/11 at 1:24am
I want mine to achieve what they wish to achieve ... not what I wish for them.

That said, I've given them sufficient direction and opportunity ... but now it's up to them.
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