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Need help (girl of my dreams)

post #1 of 171
Thread Starter 
I'll try to make this as short as I can.

Back in Nov. 2010, I met this girl. She was dating someone at the time, but soon afterwards he broke up with her.

Dec. 2010 I saw her again at a friends house, and her ex was at the party as well. She was still trying to get back with him, so she was paying attention to him all night. I spoke to het for about 5 minutes, but soon the conversation turned kind of awkward and we had nothing left to say, so I said "Well, ok. Nice talking to you." It was obvious she was still in love with her ex.

On April 2011 I saw her at the gym, and we spoke for a little while. She was very friendly. We became friends on FB and about a week later I asked something about law (we're both lawyers) and when she said she couldn't help me I told her "Ok, no problem. I guess I'll have to come up with a better excuse to invite you to lunch" to which she replied "Great. Come up with a better excuse to invite me to lunch "

I then saw her at the gym about a week later, and we spoke for about 20 minutes. Later that day I wrote her on FB and said I was free on Friday and maybe we could go to the beach and after we could grab something to eat. She said "Sounds like a great plan ". I asked for her cel# and she gave it to me.

On Thursday I called her. No answer. I sent a txt msg and she called about an hour later. I asked if we were still on for tomorrow, and she said she hadn't been feeling too well the whole week, but was getting better and that she would call me next morning to let me know.

Next morning I txted her saying something like "Hope you're feeling better. If not, a little swim will do wonders. Let me know". She texted back saying "I won't be able to make it to the beach, but I'm free after 2pm. If you want to do something let me know". I said ok.

About an hour later she sent a txt saying "I got out earlier than expected. On my way to the beach, if you want to meet me there ". I called, she said she was going with her brother and I told her I'd meet her there.

So, I got to the beach and we spent about 2 hours together. Her brother was there, but it wasn't weird or anything. We talked about a bunch of stuff, and AFAIK everything went well.

Next day I called her, but I got no answer. I thought about leaving a voicemail, or sending her a txt, but then I thought "if this girl is interested in me, she will call back saying she had a missed call". But she never called.

On Tuesday I saw her at the gym. She was with her mother (they train together) and I said hi, very little chit chat, then said goodbye when I left.

I told the story to my best friend, and he said I shouldn't quit. He said I should call her again today and ask her if she wants to do something on the weekend. He said men have to be insistent and go after what they want. He said women fall for those kind of guys even if they're not interested in them at the beginning.

What do you guys think? Read between the lines (she didn't call back)? Or make one more attempt?
post #2 of 171
How old are you? How old is she? People get together when they're both old enough to be ready.
post #3 of 171
Thread Starter 
I'm 31. She'll be 28 in Sept.

One thing I didn't mention is that she's leaving in August for one year to do her masters. It's just for 1 year, and she said she is definitely coming back after that. But this is something I thought I should mention.
post #4 of 171
post #5 of 171
She seems apprehensive more than anything. It's understandable that she is testing the waters, so to speak. She must have been head over heels for her ex and it hasn't even been a year yet so I wouldn't read too much into her not calling you back. It wouldn't hurt to send her a casual message asking how her day is going. It shows you're thinking about her but not so in-your-face as calling her up.
post #6 of 171
Her biological clock is ticking so loud it is probably clouding her judgement.
post #7 of 171
Based on her willingness to follow-up on the plan you made to go to the beach, I'd say that one unreturned call isn't a bad sign. I sometimes leave emails from my closest friends unanswered for days by accident/procrastination. If she's talking to you, she's still interested, I'm sure. The hard-to-get thing is fairly common these days, so I'd definitely say give her a call.
post #8 of 171
What makes her the woman of your dreams? She's hot, brilliant, funny? You can't bear the thought of living without her? Regardless, if she hasn't paid you much attention by this point in time she likely won't start anything up in the next month that will leave an impression for a whole year while she is away at school. Nice is a four-letter word for men who are seeking a woman. She knows you're interested. If it was mutual, you'd know by now. If her last breakup was a bad one, she probably doesn't want someone who (no offence) is coming across as a bit clingy and too strong.

However, she is giving you some good signs and hasn't blown you off completely. All this does is keeps you interested. You live in NYC. There are tonnes of women to choose from if you want a relationship, so choose one who is going to be around for the foreseeable future.

My $0.02 is to move on buddy.
post #9 of 171
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by dhc905 View Post
Her biological clock is ticking so loud it is probably clouding her judgement.
I don't think she's even thinking about marriage at this point. She's leaving 1 year to do her masters.
post #10 of 171
^ That bathing suit is so pretty.
post #11 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Pryor View Post
I don't think she's even thinking about marriage at this point. She's leaving 1 year to do her masters.

This is her


Show her this thread as an ice breaker. Alternatively, you could ask her if she enjoys the smell of chloroform.
post #12 of 171
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Church's Goer View Post
If her last breakup was a bad one, she probably doesn't want someone who (no offence) is coming across as a bit clingy and too strong.

Her last breakup wasn't a bad one. The guy just dumped her, that's all. Show me a good looking woman and I'll show you a guy who's tired of fucking her.

I disagree about coming across too strong. If anything, I've done the opposite. She obviously knows I'm interested, but I've been very laid back about it. This next call would probably be the defining point. If I make it, I'll definitely won't be 'laid back'. That's why I'm asking if I should make it.

Quote:
However, she is giving you some good signs and hasn't blown you off completely. All this does is keeps you interested. You live in NYC. There are tonnes of women to choose from if you want a relationship, so choose one who is going to be around for the foreseeable future.

My $0.02 is to move on buddy.

She has indeed given me some good signs. Everything has been good signs as far as I'm concerned. Except the no answer/no return call on Saturday. I think you Americans have a saying that goes "read between the lines". I was wondering if it applies to my case.

I don't live in NYC.
post #13 of 171
I bet that girl's a freak like Cirque du Soleil.
post #14 of 171
My bad on NYC - don't know how I came up with that. Who the hell goes to the beach in NYC?
Seriously though, make a last ditch effort if you think she's worth it. But you're probably setting yourself up for a fall since she's leaving in a month. Virtually no attractive woman with less than a month of a relationship under her belt is going to keep a long distance relationship going for a year. Try to be as objective about it as possible, even though that's obviously pretty tough at this point.
post #15 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1969 View Post
Show her this thread as an ice breaker. Alternatively, you could ask her if she enjoys the smell of chloroform.

THREAD WIN
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