The Great Age Difference Debate

To make it short: Both I and the girls/women I dated did not yet have a problem with age. I am 19 years old and the youngest of them is 18 and the oldest will celebrate her 30th birthday next month. As for relationships with big age difference I have no experience.

Half your age plus 7 almost always works.

Yes, came here to post rule of 7. Though I did get together with a hot 38 year old coworker when I was 25, therefore narrowly violating the rule. In my experience, there was no manipulation present. We're still friends and speak often.

I don't think that large age differences is a work of manipulation. I think it is a fairly natural desire from both a social and evolutionary standpoint. For example men in their sixtes are attracted to girls in their late teens and twenties. This has to do with evolution, these woman men are supposed to be attracted to because they are the most capable of bearing children and more of them than say a woman in her late thirties, or late forties. I think somewhere this same desire present in some young women stems from that same evolutionary aspect. The other way around, younger men dating older women I think if the gap is large enough is just due to a man's predatory nature. A perversion more than anything. Oedipal issues could be present as well, but clearly not anything realistic in terms of starting a family.

Socially it is a bit of a different story. Younger girls who like the presence of an older man do so for two reasons, I think. Number one, competition. To show other woman that they are more desireable than others, and also more mature. It distiguishes them from their peers who are mostly similar to one another. Number two, fatherly comfort. I feel that some young girls enjoy the presence of a man in a fatherly sort of way. Somebody that will protect them, comfort them and offer them the kind of stability that a father would. Now you can get into the Freudian aspect with both younger men, and younger women with their parents, but I think an absent father may have an impact on younger girls going for older men.

Also, on the social side dating in huge age differences can be fun, but dating is one thing, marriage is another. I don't understand how anybody older (say past thirty) would think that somebody nineteen through twenty-two would most likely remain in the marriage. If you think back to that time in your life you change a lot. You wisen up, you are beginning to feel life and learn from it. These people are likely going to change as will their tastes and desires. This said teens and early to mid twenties should be out of the picture as far as marriage is concerned to any realist.

Manipulation is more related to naive girls then just young girls. There are 30 year old naive women. There are 18 year old very street smart. Having said that if the woman is very naive it more then just simple manipulation. It can be outright abuse. In short it's not the age on the ID it's more the maturity of the person.

I think one could say the competition factor still comes into play with older women and younger men. It lets them know that they are still attractive and makes them feel younger. It can also play a part with their peers if they are relaying the story to their friends. They are still capable attracting candidates to "reproduce". Women also know there is no chance that a far younger man has the means to protect, or support them in the ways they realistically need to survive, however these social aspects make them stand out to their peers and make themselves feel good.

Was married to a woman who was 5 1/2 years younger than me. When we first started dating, I was 25 and she was 20 and it seemed like a huge difference. I was working and she was still in college. After a short time, I never noticed much difference.

Since my divorce I've dating almost exclusively women who were younger than me by anywhere from 1 to 10 years. I have a buddy who in his late 40's has dated women in their mid-20's; a clear violation of 7 year rule.

Age is only a shorthand for life experience. There can be two people who are very close in age who have completely different life experiences and nothing to talk about. By the same token there can be people with significant age differences that are very compatable. I wouldn't necessarily rule anything out. By the same token, it is difficult to conceive of anything but a very rare situation where I would be comfortable dating someone younger than in her mid-30's, say.

I don't go older for the most part, but that's because I'm Shallow Hal.

I have found that most young people who are mature for their age still have a very strong niavety. A lot of the girls that I have met who are young that would fit this category are not truly "mature", but smart, which passes for maturity in a lot of cases. Also, anybody who outcright says they are mature for their age usually clearly isn't and they come across as trying way to hard to be one of those people.

I have been dating an age-appropriate woman since October. I am going back to jailbait. Effective immediately.

Amen brother, amen.

THIS. I was thirty and dated a twenty year old and a twenty-one year old. The twenty-one year old thing lasted off and on for almost three years, but was pretty stupid. Now 34 with a 28 year old and happier.