Dating a "high end" girl?

I´ve been seeing this girl for the past month or so. Her father happens to be quite well-off and his daughter is naturally well looked after by daddy, she´s also a student. I am also studying (2nd year law) and do have a modest amount of money to spend each month. However, the situation is the girl is a bit "too" acquainted" with the finer things. As a result I constantly find myself in ridiculously high priced restaurants and bars in London for a date (this week we had dinner at Capriani´s in Mayfair/London). Call me old fashioned but on dates I have always insisted on paying, as a result in this month i´ve spent ridiculous amounts on food and drinks. The girl really does have a good character "i think" and I enjoy being with her, I don´t think she is too spoiled but nonetheless the love of too-much high class is annoying me now especially as students Has anybody else fell into this situation before? And how ze **** do I tell her kindly to stop dragging me to over priced places and for her to come back down to earth ?

do it subtly. Take control of planning the dates. Take her to lesser known area and walk a lot, go to a lot of smaller restaurants that are trendy, yet not breaking the budget. Take her out of her element and try and get her to experience new things. For example, walk downtown london and find a nice restaurant that is 'in' but that isn't extraordinary in cost. Take her to a high end burger joint, or gourmet pizza place. Theyre usually higher than regular places in their respective markets, yet they aren't astronomical in pricing. They're also fun as hell and are cute for dates.

Poor people should never mix with the elite. It's sad.

Bang her real good and everything will sort itself out!

This is going to sound like bullshit, but it is honest advice. Buy a Hitachi Magic Wand. Tie her up (with her permission, of course). Use the magic wand until she begs for mercy. Keep going. Dominate her.

After she has multiple orgasms, culminating in a brain liquifying transcendent out-of-body experience she has heretofore never known, she will be your slave. She will happily eat at McDonalds as long as you occasionally work more of your magic.

OK, I just made all that up ... or did I?

Originally Posted by oneeightyseven

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do it subtly. Take control of planning the dates. Take her to lesser known area and walk a lot, go to a lot of smaller restaurants that are trendy, yet not breaking the budget. Take her out of her element and try and get her to experience new things. For example, walk downtown london and find a nice restaurant that is 'in' but that isn't extraordinary in cost. Take her to a high end burger joint, or gourmet pizza place. Theyre usually higher than regular places in their respective markets, yet they aren't astronomical in pricing. They're also fun as hell and are cute for dates.
Reasonable minds can differ, but I think this is terrible advice. Just have a f***ing conversation with her about it. If she's cool but has just been oblivious because she takes certain things for granted, it will give her the opportunity to be more sensitive. If she has a big problem with it, then maybe her character isn't what you've been thinking. And really, what's the downside? That she'll find out you're not rich? I have to assume she has a sense of that already.
187's approach strikes me as stressful and unproductive. Every time you go out, do you really want to be worrying about how you can "subtly" manipulate her into going to place A rather than place B, without her realizing it's going on? Sounds like a lot of energy to expend on bullshit. And I suspect that on those occasions when you don't pull it off and she says, "you know, I'd really like to go to [expensive place] tonight, maybe we can do that other place some other night" you're likely to be twice as frustrated and resentful.

just tell her that she'll never live like common people, and she'll never fail like common people. Then order a rum and coca-cola and take her to a supermarket. Anyway, that is my advice.

You're old fashioned enough to pay for everything, but not old fashioned enough to tell her exactly when and where you will take her out? It sounds like you're a push over.

If you take her to places you prefer and she dumps you soon after, then it's a good thing. Ideally you should be able to take her to the places where you want to go with no push back, and eventually get to the point where she will buy groceries, go to your home, and cook for you as a date.

Originally Posted by lawyerdad

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Reasonable minds can differ, but I think this is terrible advice. Just have a f***ing conversation with her about it. If she's cool but has just been oblivious because she takes certain things for granted, it will give her the opportunity to be more sensitive. If she has a big problem with it, then maybe her character isn't what you've been thinking. And really, what's the downside? That she'll find out you're not rich? I have to assume she has a sense of that already.
187's approach strikes me as stressful and unproductive. Every time you go out, do you really want to be worrying about how you can "subtly" manipulate her into going to place A rather than place B, without her realizing it's going on? Sounds like a lot of energy to expend on bullshit. And I suspect that on those occasions when you don't pull it off and she says, "you know, I'd really like to go to [expensive place] tonight, maybe we can do that other place some other night" you're likely to be twice as frustrated and resentful.

you're looking at it completely wrong. I'm not saying to manipulate her, but take control of the date planning process. Find fun, inexpensive things to do. I know in Toronto, there are **** ton of cheap places to eat that are fun and different. Most people don't know about them and you can have a great time. It shows her that 1) you are versatile and are accustomed to a variety of things and 2) that you aren't trying to impress her. Go to a museum, or an art gallery. I do it all the time, but because I find these things fun and hate doing the usual '(typical chain restaurant) and latest movie' kind of dates. I like to walk, see things and go to "different" restaurants. Obviously I'm not aware of London and can't really recommend anywhere, but I'm sure as a major city it has ample things to do.

Originally Posted by iammatt

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just tell her that she'll never live like common people, and she'll never fail like common people. Then order a rum and coca-cola and take her to a supermarket. Anyway, that is my advice.

I can't see anyone else smiling.

As to OP, as long as you keep taking her to nice restaurants, she will keep thinking you can afford it. Tell her you can't. If that's the end of the relationship then it was only going to last as long as your money anyway, and that apparently would not have been long.

Originally Posted by TourbillonTurk.

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I´ve been seeing this girl for the past month or so. Her father happens to be quite well-off and his daughter is naturally well looked after by daddy, she´s also a student. I am also studying (2nd year law) and do have a modest amount of money to spend each month. However, the situation is the girl is a bit "too" acquainted" with the finer things. As a result I constantly find myself in ridiculously high priced restaurants and bars in London for a date (this week we had dinner at Capriani´s in Mayfair/London). Call me old fashioned but on dates I have always insisted on paying, as a result in this month i´ve spent ridiculous amounts on food and drinks. The girl really does have a good character "i think" and I enjoy being with her, I don´t think she is too spoiled but nonetheless the love of too-much high class is annoying me now especially as students

Has anybody else fell into this situation before? And how ze **** do I tell her kindly to stop dragging me to over priced places and for her to come back down to earth ?

Stop being dragged along, sport. Easy.

End of the day - to be extremely blunt for a moment, even good girl sex isn't worth the hole in your wallet. Is it.

There is one word to solve your problems. That word is 'Soho'. If you don't find a few holes to have a great time in for not too much money, you're doing it wrong or you're not a member, in which case, make some friends who are.

Stay out of Mayfair, bro, unless a) it's a special occasion b) you feel like blowing a load of cash c) you're splitting and you feel like taking a hit.

A gentleman will pay on the first date if he wants. You split on all the others. It's the 21st century. You're not going to be able to compete with daddy, so don't try.

Lastly, remember - a swish lawyer type like you finds all of those places a bit vulgar, a great scam, a bit of a show, for middle class divorcees. Don't you? 'Oh God, Mayfair again? Christ, take me now.' Do some homework and don't get sucked in to the idea that money spent=quality of date=quality of relationship.

And go to the Wolseley instead next time. It's a scream.

And don't start trying to explain your penury, you will then appear JUST ANOTHER POOR STUDENT. Women like this are NOT UNDERSTANDING OF YOUR SITUATION, dearest, dearest bro. As part of willpower's post indicates, you have to play this one intelligently.

It's going to be slightly awkward because you've already set an expectation level.


"Look darling, until I'm out of law school I've got to be a bit more conscious of my finances. I enjoy having dinner with you , but let's keep the higher end restaurants for special occasions. I can afford them, but I don't want to afford them. When I'm wildly successful I'm going to have my own table at Capriani's but until then I want to limit myself to places like x, x, and x. BTW, can you get your hair cut like Pippa's?"

Originally Posted by oneeightyseven

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do it subtly. Take control of planning the dates. Take her to lesser known area and walk a lot,
That´s what i´m planning on doing from now on, minus the walking a lot. And there is alot of great places here to dine for cheaper amongst young people instead of seeing 60yo men with 25yo e.european girls.

Originally Posted by Neo_Version 7

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Poor people should never mix with the elite. It's sad.
Wrong.

Originally Posted by lawyerdad

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Reasonable minds can differ, but I think this is terrible advice. Just have a f***ing conversation with her about it.
Yes I think she is slightly oblivious to it and talking to her openly is maybe the only option too take instead of pretending to not be uncomfortable.

Originally Posted by Reggs

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You're old fashioned enough to pay for everything, but not old fashioned enough to tell her exactly when and where you will take her out? It sounds like you're a push over.
"Push over" Maybe I am you know, or i´m being reluctant in directing her because we haven´t got to that stage. Either way I should take up the alpha male role!

Originally Posted by munchausen

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I can't see anyone else smiling.

As to OP, as long as you keep taking her to nice restaurants, she will keep thinking you can afford it. Tell her you can't. If that's the end of the relationship then it was only going to last as long as your money anyway, and that apparently would not have been long.

I think until now, i´ve said to myself "oh so thats what she´s accustomed to" and i´ve allowed myself to go into her chosen environment and do the things she does i.e. dine in certain places, but it´s annoying now. Yes i think talking to her and seeing her reaction is the best way to see if she really is good character.

Originally Posted by VelvetGreen

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Stop being dragged along, sport. Easy.

End of the day - to be extremely blunt for a moment, even good girl sex isn't worth the hole in your wallet. Is it.

There is one word to solve your problems. That word is 'Soho'. If you don't find a few holes to have a great time in for not too much money, you're doing it wrong or you're not a member, in which case, make some friends who are.

Stay out of Mayfair

A gentleman will pay on the first date if he wants. You split on all the others

Do some homework and don't get sucked in to the idea that money spent=quality of date=quality of relationship.

And go to the Wolseley instead next time. It's a scream.

HaH well explained . Yes of course Soho is my cup of tea anyday and we have headed up there a few times but not as much quite evidently! Mayfair sure isn´t a place to go for a just a normal date Yes i´m actually quite regretting my habit of insisting to pay each time now, but i must adjust from now on and split the bill. I know the money spent never equals the quality i´ve seen bad examples from people around me but i´ve just got caught up in this cycle I guess.

Originally Posted by willpower

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It's going to be slightly awkward because you've already set an expectation level.


"Look darling, until I'm out of law school I've got to be a bit more conscious of my finances. I enjoy having dinner with you , but let's keep the higher end restaurants for special occasions. I can afford them, but I don't want to afford them. When I'm wildly successful I'm going to have my own table at Capriani's but until then I want to limit myself to places like x, x, and x. BTW, can you get your hair cut like Pippa's?"

Precisely! The fact that I have already set that level is not good. Infact she may think that it is totally fine for me to go to such places regularly. Being "smooth" about it and talking my way out, thats actually a good approach but question is will it work?

-Haha, infact I can tell her ill treat her with fine dining if she has the Pippa Haircut

Originally Posted by TourbillonTurk.

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I think until now, i´ve said to myself "oh so thats what she´s accustomed to" and i´ve allowed myself to go into her chosen environment and do the things she does i.e. dine in certain places, but it´s annoying now. Yes i think talking to her and seeing her reaction is the best way to see if she really is good character.

aftet this pushover is the perfect way to describe you.... if you were old fashiioned you would pay for the date, but you also plan it as well, meaning it is designed accordign to your comfort zone as well as her´s. what you are describing is a sit in which you both plan the date, or she is planning more often than not, in this even by old fahsioned standards having her pay way is not wrong, because you are not the one inviting the person and planning the date, instead both you are planing by mutual agreemment thus the payment of the event should be shared, even by olf fashion standards...