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The little horrors in life - Page 13

post #181 of 309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benzito View Post
If you have to go searching for the porn, you're a perv. If it just falls in you lap, it is just StyleForum.

omg shay maria
post #182 of 309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eason View Post
mosquito bites on your fingers

Bites on the bottom of your feet are much, much worse
post #183 of 309
farting, in any variation and catching a whiff.... not, that's not the horror. Actually that's not bad really. I think we all enjoy it now and again. HOWEVER, farting in the shower? totally different game. Please, please just trust me on this one - resis the urge to fart in the shower. The hot steam, oh gawd, the stench, it's like a hot stinky fart sauna, uh... I feel so dirty. brb, gonna go shower.
post #184 of 309
Deadly shitty smell from bathrooms... so bad that you can't bring it to yourself to use the toilet. Who the fuck has shits that smell that bad? I suspect homeless people, since it's usually in public you smell this. I have deadly shits in the morning, but very rarely. Hanging cuticles Buses... I fucking hate them because you can never predict when the really come. I've had lots of bad luck here. LOTS. Rain. Fuck rain. Unless I'm hiking, wearing shitty clothing, or in my place lying in bed... Rain always sucks. Getting sick at inopportune times. Hitting my oboe reed against my teeth. This happens FAR too often with me. Reeds take a ton of time to make. A lot more than you could ever imagine... I've had the piss thing happen a few times... usually with nutcrushers. You take a leak at the urinal, feel you're done, pack it away... then a stream of piss leaks out. It happened a few weeks ago at a bar. I had a pretty large spot. I felt like an idiot, but luckily no one saw.
post #185 of 309
Eating pistachios, yum yum then the bowls about empty...

but wait there are few left that are barely cracked...


I know, lets try and open them!



(Bent fingernails)

post #186 of 309
Quote:
Originally Posted by greekgeek View Post
Eating pistachios, yum yum then the bowls about empty...

but wait there are few left that are barely cracked...


I know, lets try and open them!



(Bent fingernails)


Helpful Hint -

post #187 of 309
Quote:
Originally Posted by greekgeek View Post
Eating pistachios, yum yum then the bowls about empty...

but wait there are few left that are barely cracked...


I know, lets try and open them!



(Bent fingernails)


my little horror with pistachios is when you're in the zone and just cracking and eating them on a good constant pace...enjoying the wonderful pistachio tastes... then you get that "weird one"... its either soggy and/or mis-colored (usually a grayish/brownish mix) and its like you just bit down on a piece of dung beetle.
post #188 of 309
Quote:
Originally Posted by willpower View Post
Helpful Hint -



Quote:
Originally Posted by LawrenceMD View Post
my little horror with pistachios is when you're in the zone and just cracking and eating them on a good constant pace...enjoying the wonderful pistachio tastes... then you get that "weird one"... its either soggy and/or mis-colored (usually a grayish/brownish mix) and its like you just bit down on a piece of dung beetle.

HAha oh yes that is awful too Last week I was munching and then it hit: shrunken, dried out bitter pistachio in the midst of all that deliciousness. At least subsequent ones were identifiable unlike the mushies...
post #189 of 309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stazy View Post
If I want to hear an attractive voice I start talking.
pretty alpha bro. putting your feet up when you're at the movies with a honey. then you realize that feet smell has been coming from you the entire time.
post #190 of 309
Quote:
Originally Posted by willpower View Post
Helpful Hint -


Holy crap. This is so simple and so genius. Holy crap. I think I'm hyperventilating. This is going to revolutionize my pistachio-eating experience!
post #191 of 309
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jawzzy View Post
Holy crap. This is so simple and so genius. Holy crap. I think I'm hyperventilating. This is going to revolutionize my pistachio-eating experience!
It's like using a lego brick to separate two small, stuck-together bricks.
post #192 of 309
when some ass clown leaves an excruciatingly long message for which you need to call them back, and then in the last 1.3 seconds, they give you their phone number so quickly that you have to listen tot he message 3 times before you can get all the numbers down. Of course when you check the "call received from" number its some generic office line.
post #193 of 309
I'm shocked someone didn't know about that pistacchio trick. Knowing you're going to have sex later, so you don't eat anything that will make you want to take a shit or will make you gassy. You get to her place, and suddenly you need to take the biggest shit anyways. FUUUU! Fooling around with a girl for the first time who you thought had the best tits ever, removing her bra, and seeing the most grotesque looking flapjack tits ever. Being alone in an elevator, letting out a big fart, only to have it open up on the next floor and have a wave of people walk in. Waking up at 5 in the morning with a piss hardon (in combination with having a banana dick) and having to bend over in the most ungodly way to take a leak.
post #194 of 309
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKJTG View Post
Best way to avoid this: check your own voicemail and listen to the options. There's one for sending another voicemail to someone else. It doesn't cause their phone to ring. You can really manipulate this into: "Oh hey we're leaving in 5 minutes guess you aren't there" voicemails to ditch someone who you don't want to tag along.

Can you do this with AT&T/iPhone?
post #195 of 309
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhoKnewI View Post
Fooling around with a girl for the first time who you thought had the best tits ever, removing her bra, and seeing the most grotesque looking flapjack tits ever.
Seriously... in fact, finding out that someone's tits look disgusting or the areolas are all gigantic and shit is maddening. This has only happened once or twice, I'm lucky.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gort View Post
Can you do this with AT&T/iPhone?
Pretty sure you can do that with any mobile phone.
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