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The little horrors in life

post #1 of 309
Thread Starter 
This thread is to celebrate those brief, but poignant moments where you momentarily consider suicide as an escape:

Waking up exhausted in a freezing house well before dawn to go to work during winter
Stepping into the bathroom with socks on only to step in a slick of water
mosquito bites on your fingers
post #2 of 309
peeing in the middle of the night, too lazy to turn on the light, and first stream comes out shooting everywhere but in the toilet. now you not only have to turn on the light, but have to clean up that shit. broken tv remote. fucking crazy family members calling you at work, first thing in the morning.
post #3 of 309
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by acidboy View Post
peeing in the middle of the night, too lazy to turn on the light, and first stream comes out shooting everywhere but in the toilet. now you not only have to turn on the light, but have to clean up that shit.

Ooooh, that's the advantage of living alone

Eating a big spoonful of muesli and getting nothing but disgusting dried dates, even though you thought you picked them all out
post #4 of 309
One of the assistants/admins in my office recently guilt-tripped everyone into setting aside an entire day next week to go do volunteer work. The idea has now achieved so much currency in the office that the "volunteer" part no longer seems true.

post #5 of 309
Thread Starter 
Hmm, that seems a little more like "things that are pissing you off" than one of life's little axioms of horror.
post #6 of 309
when you flush a toilet with a normal sized shit, and normal amount of toilet paper, but there is a perfect storm of awkward flush physics that still results in a semi clog.

You stare at the steady rise of water until it hits the bottom of the rim in total horror.... and then by the grace of God it slowly starts spiraling back down.

this horror is multiplied exponentially when it happens at someone else's house.
post #7 of 309
Finding out that someday there will be a mini-Eason on this earth.
post #8 of 309
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwilkinson View Post
Finding out that someday there will be a mini-Eason on this earth.

that may one day impregnate your future daughter
post #9 of 309
Quote:
Originally Posted by acidboy View Post
that may one day impregnate your future daughter

wait - cuddling doesn't produce children. If it did, though, they would probably be half-kwilk, half-pillow.
post #10 of 309
Getting anything from the medicine cabinet, and having 2000 plastic bottles, band aids, and empty medicine boxes falling down in a nuclear chain reaction, leaving you shaking and emptying the whole drawer in the hopes that, at some time, your doctor gave you a bottle of Xanax.
post #11 of 309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post
wait - cuddling doesn't produce children. If it did, though, they would probably be half-kwilk, half-pillow.

Ouch baby, very ouch. My sex life has been very active lately, though. I just don't post about it every time I touch a breast anymore.
post #12 of 309
mosquito bite on your nuts that itch on your back that you can't ever really reach when you use the spray sunblock but fail to realize that you're supposed to smooth out the spray, which results in little sunburnt blotches that show all the places you missed
post #13 of 309
blowing a tire, taking out the spare and seeing that the spare is flat.
post #14 of 309
Quote:
Originally Posted by munchausen View Post
blowing a tire, taking out the spare and seeing that the spare is flat.

while wearing a nice suit. In the summer.
post #15 of 309
that hole on your sock and in the course of the day you feel your toe going through said hole that moment after you fap to some porn when you have to turn the player off before you wash up trying to cut off a piece of clear tape and you can't fucking find the tip of the tape plus your fingernails are freshly trimmed middle of the day and you know that fart left a streak in your underwear
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