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Dear Newsweek guy, Try covering the news. Stupid lists culled from bloggers is just one of the reasons your magazine is dying.
Thanks for the advice, JakeLA. FYI, this is a freelance assignment. I do, in fact, cover the "news" for Newsweek:
http://www.newsweek.com/authors/andrew-romano.html. And to everyone else: thanks so much for the recs! A huge, huge help. Feel free to add more tailors to the list, especially if they're outside New York or L.A. Just cleaned out my inbox, so feel free to send a PM if you'd rather not post here.