Shaq Retires

1 year from becoming basketball's Willie Mays.

He can finally focus on that highly-anticipated hip-hop album.

Kazaaam II or Shaq-Fu II soon to be in a theater near you. He is dating Hoopz though, and for some reason I find her so fine.

the dude speaks his own language, im surprised how simple and understandable his tweet was

Good riddance.

Several years to late but he was great, great player.

A sad day for the Onion Sports section.

Shaqget the reference?

He was no doubt a dominant player, but just imagine if he'd had a work ethic? Wilt worked out like a fiend when no one else did, Hakeem always tried to improve his game and footwork, Shaq just ate. He's a good guy, never made the headlines, but I still think of his career as underachieving.

i disagree with a couple of the specifics (he did have a couple of MVPs in there and will probably be regarded as one of the most dominant centers ever). but yeah, lazy as the day is long. all the physical gifts in the world and the ambition of Conne. like somebody once described a baseball pitcher: million-dollar runway, 25 cent control tower. i think that, more than any "whose team is it" is what caused the problems between him and kobe, a player with (on nba scale) not overwhelming physical gifts who worked like a crazy man to be the best. can you imagine having that drive and looking over at some guy who is 7-foot, 280-pounds, quick as a cat, who spends his summer eating cheeseburgers and driving police cars?

Shaq prime > *

There, I said it.

not the best, but definitely left an indelible mark on pro basketball. ...and now that he has the time, maybe he should consider making a sequel

Dude is gonna be like 500 pounds within 24 mos