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After how many dates should you let a girl pay for (half or all of) a date? - Page 6

post #76 of 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuuma View Post
It's an immutable law of nature that women will go for men who have printed pieces of paper with dead presidents on them and use them to acquire bottled fermented grapes and heated animal carcasses brought by people wearing a ritual penguin outfit?
Yeah, pretty much. Penguin outfit not withstanding.
post #77 of 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuuma View Post
Paying for a fucking dinner isn't gender specific.

Neither is changing a tire, but if I saw some young guy sitting in a car by the side of the road reading the paper while his date was outside struggling to loosen the lug nuts on a flat I would form a very negative "gender specific" opinion of him.
post #78 of 94
Ensure the bill is split on the first date to set expectations up-front, then adjust from there.
post #79 of 94
^How many second dates have you experienced?
post #80 of 94
If you pay on the first date, you've set the expectation to pay for all subsequent dates and for nearly everything else ever after (cab fares, meals, drinks, cover charges, the morning after pill). Now she views you as an ATM machine and fast becomes a strain. The "...does she expect to start splitting bills yet?" dance must be had at some point anyway....might as well cut through the bullshit and cleverly work it right the first time because the further down the road you go it's much more awkward (and how soon is too soon or too late, the second, third date?). One exception: I always pay for drinks at the bar. But strictly out of convenience for myself. While we're on the topic; I never set-up "first dates" as "first dates" in the formal sense, where I show up at her residence on my stalion, white-gloved with bouquet and corsage in hand (figuratively-speaking, of course). If you set-up first date's with a bunch of pretense (literal or figurative) then you had better pay, without question.
post #81 of 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dakota rube View Post
^How many second dates have you experienced?

if everything goes well are not alot of first dates better.
post #82 of 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by impolyt_one View Post
who goes on dates? and who is ashamed to let a girl pay for you? Is this the 1950's?
This.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuuma View Post
Hmm well there are some people that are very close to me and broke so they know I'll pay for everything but we don't discuss it and I know they aren't leeching, however in general it doesn't mean I necessarily pay just that I don't want to start a discussion on it just get it done quickly and quietly.
Yeah, this is pretty much it. I've been in both situations (broke and payer) and you pretty much know what to expect going in. I don't mind splitting in principle but only if people just fucking throw in and call it good. Nothing worse than a bunch of people trying to figure out what each person's share is. Of course it's a lot easier to be free with your money when you have plenty of it. The real awkward situation is when you're free with someone's money assuming they have plenty of it and they don't.
post #83 of 94
I'm happy to pay for the pabst
post #84 of 94
Also I agree, I hate the chip-in. I'll usually throw down the last few bucks so that we don't have to dissect the money and find out who's not paying enough.
post #85 of 94

I have no problem switching off or splitting the bill once it's past the third or fourth date.  Before that, I feel like the guy should pay.  I keep the dates simple (coffee, snack, cheap dinner) so I don't understand why most men I date expect me to split beginning the first date.  I feel like I'm striking a financial deal, not on a date.  I don't know how else to feel about this.

post #86 of 94
Nice necrobump.

I had a pretty good post here if I do say so myself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by harvey_birdman View Post


Quote:


Originally Posted by Rambo View Post

I do so love the righteous with money proclaiming their dislike of discussing money. I suspect you'd act differently if the $40 bill came and you and your guest each only had $20 in your pockets.




I was poor and on my own for a decade. I would not go to a restaurant if I did not have the ability to pay. In fact, I did not eat out very much at all during that period. Instead I saved my pennies and got a law degree and now I can hold out my economic superiority over others.


If you exercise some discretion and self-control you too can someday mock others on a message board for their comparatively small income.
post #87 of 94

This is what happens when you consider not meeting with a guy again because he texts you beforehand letting you know you're going to need $10 for the date -You end up on google and bump random threads.  He isn't poor; he makes at least six figures.

post #88 of 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by xstarbursts View Post

This is what happens when you consider not meeting with a guy again because he texts you beforehand letting you know you're going to need $10 for the date -You end up on google and bump random threads.  He isn't poor; he makes at least six figures.

He might make six figures, but if he insists on splitting the bill with you then he'll eventually cheat on you. Sure, you might pop out a kid in the meantime and get child support for 18 years, but he'll keep on impregnating others so your support will be reduced by the two or three other kids he has to support. Suddenly that six figure salary is only supporting you in a trailer in south Jersey.

Make better choices.
post #89 of 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by harvey_birdman View Post


He might make six figures, but if he insists on splitting the bill with you then he'll eventually cheat on you. Sure, you might pop out a kid in the meantime and get child support for 18 years, but he'll keep on impregnating others so your support will be reduced by the two or three other kids he has to support. Suddenly that six figure salary is only supporting you in a trailer in south Jersey.

Make better choices.

 

I don't know whether to take your post seriously or not.  Haha, I'm so confused.  I also have a career and it's not like I can't afford the $10 or the footing the entire bill.  I promise I'm not being cheap/stingy.  It's just that I feel it's more like a financial deal or a friendship when we're paying for own coffee.  Again, I don't mind paying, but only after a few dates in... not the first couple of (cheap) dates.  Am I wrong and do I need to just suck it up?

post #90 of 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by xstarbursts View Post

This is what happens when you consider not meeting with a guy again because he texts you beforehand letting you know you're going to need $10 for the date -You end up on google and bump random threads.  He isn't poor; he makes at least six figures.

Definitely exit..stage left!
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