Someone came up with this for standard Suit size paired with tied width and lapel width on the dappered.com blog and I think it generally holds true for most people. Ultimately it comes down to individual taste and what looks good on you, but it's a good place to start if you are asking the question and haven't experimented enough to know yourself.
Suit size and then tie width and lapel width
34-36 - 2 to 2.5 - 2 to 2.5
38-40 - 2.5 to 3 - 2.5 to 3
40-42 - 3 to 3.5 - 3 to 3.5
44-46 - 3.5 - 3.75 - 3.5 to 3.75
I'm a 40R in suit size and my first Hober tie was 3.75 in width and I thought it was ultimately too big, I've settled on 3.25 to 3.5 as ideal.