Ways to ditch your girlfriend

Step 1. Go buy a velvet blazer
Step 2. Grow Pony Tail
Step 3. Wear shirts
Step 4. Tell her you are married to the sea
Step 5. Let the gay rumors spread (she will leave you at this point, works especilally well since you are a virgin)

Originally Posted by metkirk

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I'm still a virgin

so no sex let alone three some

She's having a lot of exams at the moment and unfortunately my tolerance for her is extremely low at this time. That's why I really struggle because I don't know how to break it to her.

I think you should hold out until her exams are over, then ******** with her. Even better, find someone else in the meantime. I think it would be rude for her to find out something bad while she's studying, so be discreet.

Originally Posted by metkirk

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I'm still a virgin

so no sex let alone three some

Show me a virgin and I'll show you a liar. Smoking the peace pipe and sneaking in through the backdoor certainly count in my book..

tiecollector, are you reliving some bus stop memories?

Originally Posted by Patrick Bateman

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tiecollector, are you reliving some bus stop memories?

The sound of two black guys in Raiders jackets looking up saying "awe hell no!" repeatedly, is louder now than years ago.

send her a dead fish wrapped in paper.

Originally Posted by Britalian

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send her a dead fish wrapped in paper.

Doesn't that mean I'm sleeping with the fish ???

Originally Posted by metkirk

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She's having a lot of exams at the moment and unfortunately my tolerance for her is extremely low at this time. That's why I really struggle because I don't know how to break it to her.

If she's in the middle of exams let her finish them before you break the news.

I guess I'm the last person who should advise on this thread... but what the hell.

When I was 18, I broke up with my high school girlfriend for my college boyfriend. It pretty much let her know the relationship wasn't going anywhere.

Not that I recommend that for you... but hey... college is for trying new things.

But, in all seriousness, I agree that you should let her finish exams and such before breaking the news. Also, I think it is better to break up in person than over the phone or, god forbid, email. But, barring that, keep in mind that you are young and the both of you will get over it. It's not the end of the world and it probably won't be for her, either. I know guys like to think that they are the sun around which their girlfriend's hearts and lives revolve, but if YOU are thinking that the relationship is going nowhere, perhaps SHE is feeling the same thing.

So, it might go easier than you think.

Be a man. After 3 years you should break up in person if possible. Wait until after her exams. You obviously cared for her at some point, so show some of that respect when telling her that you're moving on with your life.

One of my best friends here (now living in Texas) broke up with 5 girls he was dating at once via multiple recipient SMS. One of the funniest things Ive ever seen.

50 ways to leave your lover

Words & music by paul simon

The problem is all inside your head, she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
Id like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover

She said its really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning wont be lost or misconstrued
But Ill repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free

Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just listen to me <-----------
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why dont we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning youll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free

You just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just listen to me <------------
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free

I would say wait until after her exams, call her, and just do it. I find doing it in person with a long distance relationship is more difficult for the person your breaking up with. She'll get all excited your coming and then bam, you break up with her. It's also more costly for you. Not only do you have to buy a plane ticket, but then you have to worry about where your going to stay, getting back to the airport to leave, etc. So I would say do it over the phone. Be direct, don't beat around the bush. Call her up, tell her you don't want to be with her, a small explanation and then get off the phone. Make it clear this isn't up for discussion and that you've made your decision.

Things not to do:
break up over email, text message, or any other format besides phone or in person.
drag it out: just makes it worse for you and her. Just end it and make it clear it is over, don't leave and glimmering hopes for the future.
Dissappear: after three years thats a pretty childish thing to do and it could bite you ********** in the future (what happens if you run into her with a new gf).

Just be a man about it and make it quick. No need to draw it out and cause her excessive amounts of pain.
Grad

It sounds as if you're attached and she's indifferent. If that's the case, then I would pull the trigger by phone and expect it to be a short conversation. Do it after exams and be honest and forthright. If you want more from your lover and she's not giving it to you, then perhaps it's not meant to be.

Originally Posted by metkirk

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I'm still a virgin

I call inappropriate use of the slayer icon. This should call for something like a weeping, self-mutilating emo icon. j, is it possible to get something like that?