Originally Posted by Arrogant Bastard
When I graduated college at the age of 12, my father presented me with a French whore of the highest caliber. I've long forgotten her name, but I will never forget her touch. After the sex, my father pumped her full of heroin until she ODed. Then we disposed of her body together. I'll never forget the advice he gave me, as we shoveled desert sand and gravel onto her shallow grave. "Son," he said, "She was a hooker. That's...what she was. It's all that she was."
Reminds me of the brilliant SNL sketch Old French Whore
. My parents gave me $1k and a decent set of silverware. I still have the silverware to this day and consider it to be one of the practical gifts I've ever received.