Originally Posted by Stedye
The dynamic does shift. Before marriage many women endeavor to impress you, after they have you ,in many cases ,the hell with Impressions after the marriage...
The thought pattern of many ladies is I have him now! This is not categorically all women, but, the percentage is high of those who do change. My first marriage was 8 years with no children. I am on the second marriage going into the fourth year.
My parents were together for 46 years and did so out of habit and routine after twenty years. I speak from my own experience.
Aside from the financial disincentive that I mentioned above, the psychological one noted here is powerful. When the "law" gets in the way, the incentive for either party to stay in shape, or do whatever it is that people do to keep the other person attracted gets pushed to the wayside.
No matter how you look at it but when a partner knows that you have other options and can walk away from the relationship with money and assets intact this single fact alone keeps them on their toes. This is a good thing in my opinion.
Before all the soft hearted equalists start blubbering about "true wuv" I will say that this applies to men as well. When we know that our hot gf has other options; we decide to stay in shape, evolve culturally, intellectually and financially. Deep down we know that a life that only consisted of beer, porn and videogames is not the best strategy to keep her around.
That said, I am sure that there are many partners that do decide to stay in shape, maintain a sense of humor, and are passionately interested in keeping their partner happy even after marriage. Problem is, out of all the marriages I've come across I would peg this number at around 10 to maybe 20%.