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Things your dumb friends post on facebook - Page 151

post #2251 of 5102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lighthouse View Post

Life is Good


That's honestly not all that dumb.
post #2252 of 5102
Quote:
529735_416612975089371_2055843652_n.jpg

1. Don’t smoke —- Experiments from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher)

2. Don’t eat fruits immediately — Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Thre fore take fruits 1 -2 hours after meal or 1 hour before meal.

3. Don’t drink tea—— Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the protein content in the food we consume to be hundred thus difficult to digest.

4. Don’t loosen your belt———- Loosening the belt after meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted and blocked.

5. Don’t bathe———- ——- Bathing after meal will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs and body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease, this will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.

6. Don’t walk about———- — People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food we intake.

7. Don’t sleep immediately—- ——– The food we intake will not be to digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric and infection in our intestine.

Please Share it to your friends let them be aware…

Paging Gibonius. Gibonius to the white courtesy phone.
post #2253 of 5102
A friend posted this with a picture from some place called the "Christian Blackbelt Academy." She, apparently, enrolled her son there.
Quote:
Can't wait for my little man to start !!! Couldn't find a better place for him to do taekwondo then some where that's based on Jesus Christ !!!

I always forget about the Ninjesus parts of the Bible - "and Ninjesus said unto them, 'I am the chopper of boards: he that cometh into my dojo shall never tap out, and he who learneth roundhouse kicks from me shall never have his leg swept.'"
post #2254 of 5102
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrG View Post

A friend posted this with a picture from some place called the "Christian Blackbelt Academy." She, apparently, enrolled her son there.
I always forget about the Ninjesus parts of the Bible - "and Ninjesus said unto them, 'I am the chopper of boards: he that cometh into my dojo shall never tap out, and he who learneth roundhouse kicks from me shall never have his leg swept.'"

WTF????

A Christian Blackbelt Academy based on the Bible?/??
post #2255 of 5102
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrG View Post

A friend posted this with a picture from some place called the "Christian Blackbelt Academy." She, apparently, enrolled her son there.
I always forget about the Ninjesus parts of the Bible - "and Ninjesus said unto them, 'I am the chopper of boards: he that cometh into my dojo shall never tap out, and he who learneth roundhouse kicks from me shall never have his leg swept.'"

And then, the lord said onto them: submission is for pussies
post #2256 of 5102
I just looked up Christian Blackbelt Academy and found that there are not just the one academy, but they are all over the place. There is even a International Christian Blackbelt Academy. While some people might find this troubling in some way, I think it's a vast improvement over the Christian abortion clinic bombing classes. Seriously, there are whole subcultures out there that many of us are totally unaware of. If it were not for the show,, Toddlers & Tiaras, I could have gone through my entire existence unaware of such activity. FB should be commended on expanding our consciousness. I now know that if I ever become a Christian and have a child, if it's a boy I can send him to Blackbelt Academy and if it's a girl, have her taught how to be a drag queen. biggrin.gif
post #2257 of 5102
Quote:
Originally Posted by tagutcow View Post

Paging Gibonius. Gibonius to the white courtesy phone.

Nearly everything written there is exactly the opposite of the truth.
post #2258 of 5102
Quote:
Originally Posted by tagutcow View Post




1. Don’t smoke —- Experiments from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher)

2. Don’t eat fruits immediately — Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Thre fore take fruits 1 -2 hours after meal or 1 hour before meal.

3. Don’t drink tea—— Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the protein content in the food we consume to be hundred thus difficult to digest.

4. Don’t loosen your belt———- Loosening the belt after meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted and blocked.

5. Don’t bathe———- ——- Bathing after meal will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs and body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease, this will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.

6. Don’t walk about———- — People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food we intake.

7. Don’t sleep immediately—- ——– The food we intake will not be to digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric and infection in our intestine.

Please Share it to your friends let them be aware…
Paging Gibonius. Gibonius to the white courtesy phone.

I was sure 4, 5, and 7 (and possibly 1) were going to be related to self-pleasuring.
post #2259 of 5102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Godot View Post

I just looked up Christian Blackbelt Academy and found that there are not just the one academy, but they are all over the place. There is even a International Christian Blackbelt Academy.

If it exists, there's a Christian version of it (including porn.) I'm undecided, in most cases, whether this phenomenon is a forthright living-out of the Biblical ethos of "whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God", or a cynical attempt at fleecing Christians who believe Christians are inherently more trustworthy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by why View Post

Nearly everything written there is exactly the opposite of the truth.

I'm finding this is the case with most if not all "information" contained in facebook graphics.
Edited by tagutcow - 2/14/13 at 2:04pm
post #2260 of 5102
"If it exists, there's a Christian version of it (including porn.) I'm undecided, in most cases, whether this phenomenon is a forthright living-out of the Biblical ethos of "whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God", or a cynical attempt at fleecing Christians who believe Christians are inherently more trustworthy."


I'm going with the latter and just sorry I didn't think of it first. I can't imagine Christian porn. I mean I can imagine that it may exist, but it's something I just don't want to see. I'm not being anit Christian here, I don't want to see the porn of most religions. I do want to thank you for the idea however. I'm going to spend the rest of the day attempting to visualize a Mennonite porn film. biggrin.gif
post #2261 of 5102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Godot View Post

I just looked up Christian Blackbelt Academy and found that there are not just the one academy, but they are all over the place. There is even a International Christian Blackbelt Academy. While some people might find this troubling in some way, I think it's a vast improvement over the Christian abortion clinic bombing classes. Seriously, there are whole subcultures out there that many of us are totally unaware of. If it were not for the show,, Toddlers & Tiaras, I could have gone through my entire existence unaware of such activity. FB should be commended on expanding our consciousness. I now know that if I ever become a Christian and have a child, if it's a boy I can send him to Blackbelt Academy and if it's a girl, have her taught how to be a drag queen. biggrin.gif

A Christian abortion clinic bomb making course?

Who was teaching there?

Eric Rudolph?
post #2262 of 5102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Martini View Post


People who post a million pictures of their kids


As soon as a facebook friend shits a pup out, or their significant other does so, they're immediately removed from my newsfeed. Now, there have been exceptions, but you can tell almost immediately if a removal is in order.
post #2263 of 5102
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrG View Post

A friend posted this with a picture from some place called the "Christian Blackbelt Academy." She, apparently, enrolled her son there.
I always forget about the Ninjesus parts of the Bible - "and Ninjesus said unto them, 'I am the chopper of boards: he that cometh into my dojo shall never tap out, and he who learneth roundhouse kicks from me shall never have his leg swept.'"


Ahem...

post #2264 of 5102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Godot View Post

"If it exists, there's a Christian version of it (including porn.) I'm undecided, in most cases, whether this phenomenon is a forthright living-out of the Biblical ethos of "whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God", or a cynical attempt at fleecing Christians who believe Christians are inherently more trustworthy."


I'm going with the latter and just sorry I didn't think of it first. I can't imagine Christian porn. I mean I can imagine that it may exist, but it's something I just don't want to see. I'm not being anit Christian here, I don't want to see the porn of most religions. I do want to thank you for the idea however. I'm going to spend the rest of the day attempting to visualize a Mennonite porn film. biggrin.gif

Rules for Christian porn are here.
post #2265 of 5102
"Husband and wife must both receive their due benevolence."

Well, I guess that leaves Lasbar out then.
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