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This grift sounds like the beginning of a Cohen Bros movie!

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
http://www.newsobserver.com/2011/04/...disappear.html

Quote:
BY NICOLE E. SMITH - (Rock Hill) Herald
Tags: crime and safety | Rock Hill S.C. | wedding | preacher

ROCK HILL, S.C. -- A 58-year-old man told police that a woman he met and married on Saturday - and the preacher who married them - stole $600 from him and then disappeared, according to a Rock Hill police report.

Just after 7 p.m. Saturday, the man called a friend to ask if he "knew any girls that he could meet for companionship," according to the report. His friend introduced him to a woman at a motel on Riverview Road, and they called a reverend who said he was with "Rock Hill Chaplain Services" to marry them.

The reverend asked for $100 and performed a ceremony, according to the report.

After the ceremony, the man said he went to the store. When he returned, $600 that he had hidden under the television was gone and so was his new bride.

The man told police he thinks the reverend and woman took his money.

He hasn't been able to find the woman that he supposedly married, according to the report.

There is no listing for Rock Hill Chaplain Services.

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post #2 of 5
Thread Starter 
Seriously? Nobody finds this amusing?
post #3 of 5
I chuckled.

That's a good first act, but where do you go from there? I suspect the old man decides to track them down.

Act II is where he find the minister, an alcoholic pederast who watches repeats of the nightly news on VHS tapes while drinking Schlitz in his garage. In order to get any information from the minister he must compete against him in a shuffle board challenge. After the old man wins, the minister confesses it was actually a set up by the "wife" to have the old man killed when he returned from the store. He doesn't know anything else and falls into a coma from alcohol poisoning.

Act III, the old man tracks down his "wife" at a reservation in native Eskimo lands of Canada. She's the new wife of the Inuit chief, and in order to get some private conversation time with her he has to fight a polar bear to the death while naked with naught but a buck knife and a cell phone. He's successful after he manages to assemble a rudimentary stun gun with the cell phone's battery. During his conversation with his "wife" he discovers that she's actually the daughter of a couple the old man unintentionally killed many years ago during a drunk driving mishap after he returned from his service in the armed forces during Gulf War I and drowned his sorrows in alcohol. The old man expresses how he has changed his life for the better and he and his "wife" hold each other and cry as the scene fades to black.

/fin
post #4 of 5
it was a crappy film
post #5 of 5
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by harvey_birdman View Post
I chuckled.

That's a good first act, but where do you go from there? I suspect the old man decides to track them down.

Act II is where he find the minister, an alcoholic pederast who watches repeats of the nightly news on VHS tapes while drinking Schlitz in his garage. In order to get any information from the minister he must compete against him in a shuffle board challenge. After the old man wins, the minister confesses it was actually a set up by the "wife" to have the old man killed when he returned from the store. He doesn't know anything else and falls into a coma from alcohol poisoning.

Act III, the old man tracks down his "wife" at a reservation in native Eskimo lands of Canada. She's the new wife of the Inuit chief, and in order to get some private conversation time with her he has to fight a polar bear to the death while naked with naught but a buck knife and a cell phone. He's successful after he manages to assemble a rudimentary stun gun with the cell phone's battery. During his conversation with his "wife" he discovers that she's actually the daughter of a couple the old man unintentionally killed many years ago during a drunk driving mishap after he returned from his service in the armed forces during Gulf War I and drowned his sorrows in alcohol. The old man expresses how he has changed his life for the better and he and his "wife" hold each other and cry as the scene fades to black.

/fin

Not bad, except that last part sounds like a Tarantino movie.
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