Two nights ago, I had an absolutely psychotic series of nightmares. It was so confusing because the feelings were real, though I could feel I was laying in my bed, I was convinced I was having a complete mental breakdown and would have to see a psychiatrist.
The first dream I was in a store with my father. We were shopping for legos to buy for a lady-friend here in Zhu Hai. I couldn't pick the right ones because they were wrapped, and you'd have to buy them first to see what was inside. I knew we had to hurry because I had to teach at 1pm that day, but I hadn't prepared my lessons at all. Still, it took too long and it was already 1pm while we still hadn't found what we were looking for. I wanted to call the school or my students to tell them I was going to be late, but I had none of their numbers on my phone, and I panicked because it was going to ruin my reputation and they would think I was incompetent. I started freaking out about hurrying home to prepare for going to work, then we got home and I was running everywhere trying to get out of the house and get to work. As soon as I rushed out the door, my nose started pouring blood for some reason. By this point I was past being a wreck, I ran into two students of my students and tried to explain to them what was going on, and I could imagine them looking at me from the outside and thinking how completely unstable I looked, and it made me think that something had finally gone completely wrong with my brain and I couldn't handle myself anymore. The whole dream was accompanied by a sense of absolute emergency and nervous panic, it was a horrible feeling.
This dream cycled with a second one- a bizarre and otherworldly tour of a series of beaches filled with whales other deep-sea creatures, and some strange sci-fi high-tech office buildings. I saw around the buildings, there was a beautiful blue fluorescent gas which ebbed and flowed like liquid, intensely hot and incinerating anything near it. I found myself in the building thinking I had to get in and find someone, but inside the building it seemed like everyone had gone crazy, it was filled with murderous cannibals. As I got deeper into the building I could feel I was getting close to where I needed to be, when suddenly the blue flame started spilling into the building, washing over everything and flowing towards me. I tried to get out, but I was too deep into the building, it engulfed me and I burned.
After that, it went back again to being in the store, and it would cycle again. I think I had each dream at least 2-3 times. I had no idea they were dreams, I was just overwhelmed by the emotions and feelings and thought "this must be what a psychotic break is like". It was really terrifying, I was so relieved when I consciously woke up and realized I wasn't crazy and wouldn't have to see a doctor. Maybe. Some fucked up shit.
The first dream I was in a store with my father. We were shopping for legos to buy for a lady-friend here in Zhu Hai. I couldn't pick the right ones because they were wrapped, and you'd have to buy them first to see what was inside. I knew we had to hurry because I had to teach at 1pm that day, but I hadn't prepared my lessons at all. Still, it took too long and it was already 1pm while we still hadn't found what we were looking for. I wanted to call the school or my students to tell them I was going to be late, but I had none of their numbers on my phone, and I panicked because it was going to ruin my reputation and they would think I was incompetent. I started freaking out about hurrying home to prepare for going to work, then we got home and I was running everywhere trying to get out of the house and get to work. As soon as I rushed out the door, my nose started pouring blood for some reason. By this point I was past being a wreck, I ran into two students of my students and tried to explain to them what was going on, and I could imagine them looking at me from the outside and thinking how completely unstable I looked, and it made me think that something had finally gone completely wrong with my brain and I couldn't handle myself anymore. The whole dream was accompanied by a sense of absolute emergency and nervous panic, it was a horrible feeling.
This dream cycled with a second one- a bizarre and otherworldly tour of a series of beaches filled with whales other deep-sea creatures, and some strange sci-fi high-tech office buildings. I saw around the buildings, there was a beautiful blue fluorescent gas which ebbed and flowed like liquid, intensely hot and incinerating anything near it. I found myself in the building thinking I had to get in and find someone, but inside the building it seemed like everyone had gone crazy, it was filled with murderous cannibals. As I got deeper into the building I could feel I was getting close to where I needed to be, when suddenly the blue flame started spilling into the building, washing over everything and flowing towards me. I tried to get out, but I was too deep into the building, it engulfed me and I burned.
After that, it went back again to being in the store, and it would cycle again. I think I had each dream at least 2-3 times. I had no idea they were dreams, I was just overwhelmed by the emotions and feelings and thought "this must be what a psychotic break is like". It was really terrifying, I was so relieved when I consciously woke up and realized I wasn't crazy and wouldn't have to see a doctor. Maybe. Some fucked up shit.
After waking, it seemed pretty stupid but in the dream I, too, had that sense of emergency/panic.
