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jrd617

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"Alpha-as-****" iGents, I need your insight! I've been talking to my friends IRL, but I want some more opinions.

I wasexcited for a 2nd date yesterday. The girl was the one who asked me out for the first date, which went very well . Got the kiss at the end of the night and she suggested we go out again. A couple days ago I called her and setup a 7:30 date for Friday (yesterday). She was really enthusiastic and said she had a lot of fun the last time.

Fast forward to Friday.I texted her around noon saying I was looking forward to seeing her and to confirm for dinner. No response by 5:00, so I left a voicemail to confirm. Finally got a text a 6:00 saying: "Hey sorry work was crazy. I'm still at work so I might just need some sleep."

I texted her back saying basically that I could relate to the tiredness (I really hate that feeling of running on fumes) and that we should just reschedule. And no worries since my friends had been planning on going out anyways.

The bizarre part is that I haven't heard anything back. I've seen her online on Facebook so she didn't go into hibernation for 24 hours. If it were me, I would have responded by now. It's the least you can do if you cancel 2 hours before the date. I've exhausted my texting and call quota (1 each), so the ball is in her court.

Also, it's not the first time she canceled. Before the first date, she called in 2 hours before saying she was too "hungover" from the night before. But as I said, everything eventually worked out of the first date. (Rescheduled to the next day)

Can't tell if she's a:

(A) Flake in general
(B) Workaholic and the kind of person who dislikes showing up to something important if they don't have their "A-game" due to fatigue or hangover
(C) Not interested in me anymore; that sleepiness excuse was a cover story

At the risk of this turning into a Connemara-esque thread, I invite your insight.
 

ter1413

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CALL HER AND STOP TEXTING!!!
easier to flake via a TEXT vs a CALL!!!
WTF is wrong with people these days!!
 

jrd617

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Originally Posted by ter1413
CALL HER AND STOP TEXTING!!! easier to flake via a TEXT vs a CALL!!! WTF is wrong with people these days!!
I did call and left a vmail. I think I've only got her on the phone once before, so texting has become the default mode of communication. I called her today; no answer.
 

NAMOR

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she seemed overly excited to begin with. She may be scaling things back a bit to give the impression that she isnt too easy. Atleast I hope this is the case. I dont like a girl that doesnt allow me to chase her
 

GreenFrog

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I'd say wait until she contacts you to reschedule. If she doesn't within a week, move on.
 

jrd617

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Originally Posted by GreenFrog
I'd say wait until she contacts you to reschedule. If she doesn't within a week, move on.
I hope it doesn't come to that. Nice girls that are also hot and smart are hard to find. It's time consuming going bar hopping to find a particular type.
 

gort

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Run far, far away. Cancelled the first date due to being hung over? Cancelled second date at the last minute? Talk about flaky as ****. Even if she's not trying to be, absolutely awful manners imo. Total lack of respect.
 

jrd617

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Originally Posted by gort
Run far, far away. Cancelled the first date due to being hung over? Cancelled second date at the last minute? Talk about flaky as ****. Even if she's not trying to be, absolutely awful manners imo. Total lack of respect.
Half of my buds are in the "ditch her" camp and half say wait it out. They think she's embarrassed and doesn't know how to apologize properly or that she's playing hard to get even though she asked me out (NAMOR's theory)
 

ter1413

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be patient grasshopper. and don't text. call in the middle of the week and tell her that you want to meet for some drinks. after, put ur penor in her vag-i-ene!
 

HgaleK

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You got flakes on twice. Nbd. **** happens. If it happens a third time call it quits. I'd look in to an alt in the meantime, but give it one more go. What are you losing if you do?
 

jrd617

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Originally Posted by ter1413
be patient grasshopper. and don't text. call in the middle of the week and tell her that you want to meet for some drinks. after, put ur penor in her vag-i-ene!
Good advice
 

Dakota rube

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Patience can only go so far, though.
I wouldn't call her; she's the one who cancelled, so let her phone you to set up another date.

I also wouldn't really expect to hear from her.
 

jrd617

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Originally Posted by Dakota rube
I also wouldn't really expect to hear from her.
Another thing to consider. Here's where the plot thickens. She cross posts on Facebook/Twitter, where she posts a ton of work related stuff (does PR stuff for politicians). In a way, that supports the workaholic theory. However, she (quite stupidly) has the same usernname on a dating site, which comes up in Google. Which makes me think she's not interested and could be seeing someone else.
 

ter1413

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see...that's the problem. trying to scope her out via the internet vs calling her.....
give it a few days and call. if she flakes.....move on!
 

Boston Tweed

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Move on--you deserve better than this. If something or someone is really important, you might cancel on them once due to unforseen circumstances (**** happens) but twice in two dates is a trend, and you should want no part of this. Who is too tired after working until 6 to go on a date with someone they really like? I doubt anyone here would be...

One other alternative is to string her along for a bit. I had one girl who flaked out on me three times in four or five dates (twice with pretty weak excuses at the absolute last minute) so I set up a date with her (I asked around and ascertained her dream date and told her I was setting it up) then I cancelled 10 minutes in advance of the start once she was all ready to go, etc.

I heard through the grapevine from mutual friends that she was pissed but then the mutual friends pointed out that she did the same thing to me three times. Supposedly this incident helped her change her ways a bit, so I guess it was lesson learned (plus it felt pretty damn cathartic).
 

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