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post #91 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lane View Post
yah, its really lame how much your facebook profile is social currency nowadays. You get completely judged by it by most.

Don't give it out. I tell women that I don't use it if they ask. I have an account, but for the most part it's true. I used it to reunite with boarding school friends and haven't really touched it since then.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuuma View Post
I'll never understand people who plan some sort of restaurant+treasure chase bullshit when they could just be like "yo my friend is DJing next thursday, this is gonna be great, wanna drop by?" You're going anyway, plenty of people will be there including other girls and it's not some sort of lame "getting to know you under dimmed lights" bullshit. Get to know her after you guys have fucked. Going to an art gallery or to see a movie or play may be useful at some point cause you wanna know if you're talking to a cretin or not.

Some people just don't like doing that shit. it's probably hard to believe in the crowds you run in, but i'd rather blow my brains out. And ya, i know there are nice places too, but I just don't like them. Is your way a good way to hook-up? I'm sure it is, for you, with your particular personality. It wouldn't be for me.

Look, I don't think you can prescribe a general dating strategy (or whatever you want to call it) for everyone since everyone is different. Everyone needs to find what works for them.

That said, there are certain universals that almost certainly result in failure for anyone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuuma View Post
No one is stopping you from getting to know her but it is an organic thing not someone you can devote 3 hrs to in a controlled environment rife with the bullshit of presenting yourself as an eligible partner.

My dentist thinks I'm funny cause when he asks if I've been doing bad things I'm like "I drink a lot of red wine, smoke a lot and drink plenty of coffee." he says most of his patients lie about their habits and he can see it 5 mins later when he's looking at their teeth. If people lie to their dentists cause they wanna look good how much are they going to bullshit you when you're having some fancy meal in a stress filled life partner interview, which is basically what organized dating boils down to.

There's a certain amount of truth there, but it's not true for absolutely everyone. Depending on where you are in life and what you're looking for, "traditional" dating can be useful.

Rather than jumping straight into bed, you get to know them a bit first and can remain a bit more objective about whether they have what you want. Does everyone try to project as good an image of themselves as possible? Ya, but after a while you learn to detect what's bs and what's truth.

For my part, I don't attempt to make myself look better than I am. Once in a while you meet a girl that does the same. Do you learn everything about a person? No, and nor would you want to. But you do learn about them, and after a first date you usually know enough to determine whether it's worth the time/expense of seeing them again or not.

I say this as someone that hates dating for the same reasons you hate it. Most of the time it's a waste of time/money/effort. I dread first dates not because I get nervous, but because I know it's probably going to be a waste. Even when you meet chicks that are good on paper, it doesn't translate to chemistry most of the time. The upside is that you get to know a lot of women well enough that it helps you refine your preferences as to what you're looking for in a partner (LTR/marriage/whatever), which will hopefully lead to a better choice. Mine have drastically changed over the years and now I'm pretty sure of what I want so it's about dating a bunch of women until I find that and settle down, as deplorable a sentiment as that is to you. ;p
post #92 of 126
Holy shit, how do some of you guys even function with females? I've never in my life analyzed a date nor a female's reaction to me in the way some of you do. I just go with the flow and have a fun time........good God.
post #93 of 126
the poster above said it best. just go with it man.
post #94 of 126
Lol @ this thread. OP is creepin' on this girl hard. She doesn't like you. Keep looking.
post #95 of 126
post #96 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by GQgeek View Post
Don't give it out. I tell women that I don't use it if they ask. I have an account, but for the most part it's true. I used it to reunite with boarding school friends and haven't really you do learn about them, and after a first date you usually know enough to determine whether it's worth the time/expense of seeing them again or not. ;p
Uh, but how do you deny them something everyone has? Saying you don't have one would come off as weird if they ask for it. Plus not using it as a college student would be a red flag I think.
post #97 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lane View Post
Uh, but how do you deny them something everyone has? Saying you don't have one would come off as weird if they ask for it. Plus not using it as a college student would be a red flag I think.

I'm not a 20 year old girl so I can't say for sure, but I doubt most of them would really give a shit. I see it as a huge waste of time and that I can't be bothered to post updates and read people's walls. That's basically what i tell chicks if they ask about it. None of them have ever cared or been like "omg you're so weird for not liking facebook" and many have been early 20s, come to think of it.
post #98 of 126
Maybe the chick is just on a quest to infect as many people as she can. She's busy, and probably won't get back to you.
post #99 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by GQgeek View Post
I'm not a 20 year old girl so I can't say for sure, but I doubt most of them would really give a shit. I see it as a huge waste of time and that I can't be bothered to post updates and read people's walls. That's basically what i tell chicks if they ask about it. None of them have ever cared or been like "omg you're so weird for not liking facebook" and many have been early 20s, come to think of it.

Yeah, most girls don't give a fuck if you have Facebook or not. From personal experience, the one or two that did were a headache and a half.
post #100 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmash1080 View Post
Holy shit, how do some of you guys even function with females? I've never in my life analyzed a date nor a female's reaction to me in the way some of you do. I just go with the flow and have a fun time........good God.
Seriously, have you never read a relationship/dating thread on here before? Frankly, this is tame.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dakota rube View Post
Maybe the chick is just on a quest to infect as many people as she can. She's busy, and probably won't get back to you.
post #101 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by juliank View Post
she flaked twice BEFORE SEX and this needs a thread ? lol.

i dont think you guys understand that when women want to be with a man, they make every effort to be with THAT MAN. when they are making no effort and even worse flaking TWICE when there hasn't even been sex involved, they frankly dont really care. srsly.

+1 I feel that to an extent I have been in your shoes, I met this chick and she asked me out, I posted about it here thread got 11 pages long I believe, possibly longer because I show 40 comments per page) and I was down and all that jazz. SFers said forget her and move on, I finally did, I suggest you do as well.

I met this girl on day 1 at a restaurant, got her number and told her I was taking her out to dinner and by day 2 we already had something planned. Unfortunately she had some family stuff come up and was busy until 11:30 but she still drove the hour to come see me and spent 2 hours with me. So I figure either she likes me or she is desperate. lol Hopefully the former.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gort View Post
Planning ahead of time to show up late just to feel like you have the upper hand sounds awfully petty to me.

I agree, I am always early and if they apologize for being late and all that jazz I end telling her that I understand that things happen but I learned at an early age that I should never be 1. late and 2. on time, but that I should always be at least 10 min. early. I try to live by that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dakota rube View Post
I want to start a whiny dating thread.

Geez, I thought we already had, I intended for the one I started to be the general thread "I met this chick and I screwed myself" thread, I pretty much told the girl I loved her according to one of the members, and I hated myself for being stupid. She was a definitely a Cali 9, amazing body I mean AMAZING, but whatever.

Another member started a thread similar to this one and mine and actually titled it the GENERAL THREAD bla bla bla, but I guess the OP figured he would get more attention if he started his own thread. I don't blame him, been there done that.

OP: what did you say her online screen name was again? lol Best of luck, go date her sister or hot best friend.
post #102 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrd617 View Post
"Alpha-as-fuck" iGents, I need your insight! I've been talking to my friends IRL, but I want some more opinions. I was super excited for a 2nd date yesterday. The girl was the one who asked me out for the first date, which went very well . Got the kiss at the end of the night and she suggested we go out again. A couple days ago I called her and setup a 7:30 date for Friday (yesterday). She was really enthusiastic and said she had a lot of fun the last time. Fast forward to Friday.I texted her around noon saying I was looking forward to seeing her and to confirm for dinner. No response by 5:00, so I left a voicemail to confirm. Finally got a text a 6:00 saying: "Hey sorry work was crazy. I'm still at work so I might just need some sleep." I texted her back saying basically that I could relate to the tiredness (I really hate that feeling of running on fumes) and that we should just reschedule. And no worries since my friends had been planning on going out anyways. The bizarre part is that I haven't heard anything back. I've seen her online on Facebook so she didn't go into hibernation for 24 hours. If it were me, I would have responded by now. It's the least you can do if you cancel 2 hours before the date. I've exhausted my texting and call quota (1 each), so the ball is in her court. Also, it's not the first time she canceled. Before the first date, she called in 2 hours before saying she was too "hungover" from the night before. But as I said, everything eventually worked out of the first date. (Rescheduled to the next day) Can't tell if she's a: (A) Flake in general (B) Workaholic and the kind of person who dislikes showing up to something important if they don't have their "A-game" due to fatigue or hangover (C) Not interested in me anymore; that sleepiness excuse was a cover story At the risk of this turning into a Connemara-esque thread, I invite your insight.
Sounds like a flake, sometimes I'm just too tired from a day at work and I don't want to go out. This means you are not the most important thing in her life (not that you should be) and she probably has a lot of other things going on either personally (as in dates/fwb's) or professionally.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrd617 View Post
I did call and left a vmail. I think I've only got her on the phone once before, so texting has become the default mode of communication. I called her today; no answer.
Bad move leaving a voice mail. Bad move calling her again the next day. Should have called her once, and never again if she didn't answer. 1 missed call + 1 text is pretty much the limit. You're done now. The thing is, you shouldn't even want to keep meeting with someone who does that to you. I hate flakes, and I hate people who keep me waiting like my time is worthless. If I ever do that to someone, it's because I'm either fucking somebody else who I like more that night (ALFALFA AS PHUCK ETC.) or I have a really great plan with friends.
post #103 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eason View Post

The thing is, you shouldn't even want to keep meeting with someone who does that to you. I hate flakes, and I hate people who keep me waiting like my time is worthless. If I ever do that to someone, it's because I'm either fucking somebody else who I like more that night (ALFALFA AS PHUCK ETC.) or I have a really great plan with friends.

lol ALPHA MOTHER PHUKING MALE
post #104 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eason View Post
Sounds like a flake, sometimes I'm just too tired from a day at work and I don't want to go out. This means you are not the most important thing in her life (not that you should be) and she probably has a lot of other things going on either personally (as in dates/fwb's) or professionally.



Bad move leaving a voice mail. Bad move calling her again the next day. Should have called her once, and never again if she didn't answer. 1 missed call + 1 text is pretty much the limit. You're done now.

The thing is, you shouldn't even want to keep meeting with someone who does that to you. I hate flakes, and I hate people who keep me waiting like my time is worthless. If I ever do that to someone, it's because I'm either fucking somebody else who I like more that night (ALFALFA AS PHUCK ETC.) or I have a really great plan with friends.

Pretty much.

And on the subject of texting, if a girl is in to you, she'll respond to texts promptly, none of that hours or a day later bs. As someone else said, responding to a text takes all of about 30 seconds and nobody is too busy for that.
post #105 of 126
Lot of good advice in this thread.

I think this woman has lost interest. There is no job in the world that is so time consuming that it would prevent a woman from carving out some time for a man in whom she has a romantic interest. No biggie, happens all the time.

OP, your big problem is "one-itis." You've created an image of this woman and a relationship with her in your head after one good date, and now you're upset that your feelings aren't reciprocated. We've all been there. Move on, and meet other women.
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