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post #46 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrd617 View Post
"Alpha-as-fuck" iGents, I need your insight! I've been talking to my friends IRL, but I want some more opinions. I was super excited for a 2nd date yesterday. The girl was the one who asked me out for the first date, which went very well . Got the kiss at the end of the night and she suggested we go out again. A couple days ago I called her and setup a 7:30 date for Friday (yesterday). She was really enthusiastic and said she had a lot of fun the last time. Fast forward to Friday.I texted her around noon saying I was looking forward to seeing her and to confirm for dinner. No response by 5:00, so I left a voicemail to confirm. Finally got a text a 6:00 saying: "Hey sorry work was crazy. I'm still at work so I might just need some sleep." I texted her back saying basically that I could relate to the tiredness (I really hate that feeling of running on fumes) and that we should just reschedule. And no worries since my friends had been planning on going out anyways. The bizarre part is that I haven't heard anything back. I've seen her online on Facebook so she didn't go into hibernation for 24 hours. If it were me, I would have responded by now. It's the least you can do if you cancel 2 hours before the date. I've exhausted my texting and call quota (1 each), so the ball is in her court. Also, it's not the first time she canceled. Before the first date, she called in 2 hours before saying she was too "hungover" from the night before. But as I said, everything eventually worked out of the first date. (Rescheduled to the next day) Can't tell if she's a: (A) Flake in general (B) Workaholic and the kind of person who dislikes showing up to something important if they don't have their "A-game" due to fatigue or hangover (C) Not interested in me anymore; that sleepiness excuse was a cover story At the risk of this turning into a Connemara-esque thread, I invite your insight.
I've got bad news for you man. Her and MarkI got back together the other evening. They were in his car, he was on SF on his iPhone, it was a beautiful scene, but I guess there had to be some collateral damage somewhere. I'm sorry.
post #47 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by willpower View Post
The best reply to a chick that blows you off at the last minute is

"No biggie at all, I'll ask somebody else. However, I do need to make a call right now, so lets talk soon"

Don't make any of the above sound like a threat or put any energy into the meaning. Just say it in a cheery, matter of factly way. It'll make her crazy. You've telegraphed that you've got options and this will broadside her. Don't be surprised if she changes her tune right then and there. Those magic words play directly on the natural competitive nature between women. It'll make her nuts that she has competition - even though that competition is with her imagination.

haha. this is terrible. whoever said that this sounds petty is on the money. the only way for a chick to not SPIN what you say is through SILENCE. SILENCE is the only option after a chick has flaked TWICE and has not re-initiated to set up a date. whenever a chick flakes there is nothing more tried, more tested, more true, more James Bond than silence.

she isnt asking you a question, she isnt seeking a reply, she is blowing you off. you know how terrible this sounds "well i know what you mean, ive been tired the last couple weeks too bla bla blah,"you sound like a little kid who is appeasing someone who is breaking plans. in the initial stages everything you do is a signal for who you are and how you will relate in the future. set the terms straight from the jump.
post #48 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt View Post
I've got bad news for you man. Her and MarkI got back together the other evening. They were in his car, he was on SF on his iPhone, it was a beautiful scene, but I guess there had to be some collateral damage somewhere. I'm sorry.
well played.
post #49 of 126
Thread Starter 
How about sending black roses to this chick's office? Maybe a dead fish. Who's with me?
post #50 of 126
? It's a chin. If she calls again give it one more chance, but don't wait around for her and don't go pursuing it. It's not that difficult, the situation isn't that bad, and it certainly doesn't call for a fish... You're overthinking this. Chill and enjoy the ride.
post #51 of 126
One date and then she cancels? She's not into you bro. Move on.
post #52 of 126
I hate to tell you this, but honestly, she's just not that into you.

Instead of asking her motivation for not actually liking you that much, ask yourself why you care that much? She's proven herself to be a flake and you've only gone on one date, so it's not a big deal. Move on.
post #53 of 126
u know there be hella dudes running up in that
post #54 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrd617 View Post
Sounds contrived and petty.
Planning ahead of time to show up late just to feel like you have the upper hand sounds awfully petty to me.
post #55 of 126
Uh, that behavior is SOP for when they aren't interested dude. No communication after first/second/even third date = not interested. Their enthusiasm up to that point doesn't matter. Move on to somebody who will make time to chill with you.
post #56 of 126
Lots of great replies in this thread. OP, someone said earlier that women under 30 can be a little nutty, it's the truth. Dating gets much more enjoyable once you reach your early 30's and start dating those who are too. My advice is at this point, let it go. Not worth it at this point. Million fish in the sea. If you honestly feel you want to give her one more shot then wait a week or two. Don't contact her at all till time has passed then give her a call. If it works out, great. If not, LET IT GO. Also, the guy above who said to use SILENCE, spot on advice. Shit like this happens man. It just does. Sometimes when you think you have a connection with someone, you get disappointed. It's life. A few months ago I started going out with a girl I met at a bar. She was the first one I went out with after taking a 6 month break from the whole dating scene because of a BAD break-up. Honestly thought everything was going perfect. Had a real "connection" and could tell she was "into me." Had our 3rd date at her apartment to watch some DVD's, kissed/made-out for the first time and she ASKED ME OUT for the 4th date before I left. I texted her when I got home to say I had a good time and she replied that she did too. Never heard from her again. Shit happens. EDIT: Also, in the future don't Facebook chicks you just met and want to go out with. It's a bad idea. Hold off on that till you two become something a little more official. Too much dumb crap get posted on FB and all you need is one of your friends to make a joke on your wall that turns the chick off.
post #57 of 126
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JMRouse View Post
Lots of great replies in this thread. OP, someone said earlier that women under 30 can be a little nutty, it's the truth. Dating gets much more enjoyable once you reach your early 30's and start dating those who are too. My advice is at this point, let it go. Not worth it at this point. Million fish in the sea. If you honestly feel you want to give her one more shot then wait a week or two. Don't contact her at all till time has passed then give her a call. If it works out, great. If not, LET IT GO. Also, the guy above who said to use SILENCE, spot on advice. Shit like this happens man. It just does. Sometimes when you think you have a connection with someone, you get disappointed. It's life. A few months ago I started going out with a girl I met at a bar. She was the first one I went out with after taking a 6 month break from the whole dating scene because of a BAD break-up. Honestly thought everything was going perfect. Had a real "connection" and could tell she was "into me." Had our 3rd date at her apartment to watch some DVD's, kissed/made-out for the first time and she ASKED ME OUT for the 4th date before I left. I texted her when I got home to say I had a good time and she replied that she did too. Never heard from her again. Shit happens. EDIT: Also, in the future don't Facebook chicks you just met and want to go out with. It's a bad idea. Hold off on that till you two become something a little more official. Too much dumb crap get posted on FB and all you need is one of your friends to make a joke on your wall that turns the chick off.
I suppose the part that really annoys me is that she would go out of their way to say she thinks the next date will be "really fun" and then pull this BS. Why not just not answer me in the first place? I've never seen anything like that. Some people are just incredible. Ironically she posted a letter to a politician about morality on her blog. She seems devoid of morals and common courtesy to me.
post #58 of 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrd617 View Post
I suppose the part that really annoys me is that she would go out of their way to say she thinks the next date will be "really fun" and then pull this BS. Why not just not answer me in the first place? I've never seen anything like that. Some people are just incredible.

The funny thing is her blog has a post with an open letter to a politician about morality.

Thing is man, you don't know her. You know little about her or how she normally is. You don't even like the real her, because you don't know it. One or two dates is not enough to know much of anything about someone. I would just move on. Where do you live? Unless it's a small town I promise you their are plenty of single women waiting for someone like you to show interest.

Oh and stop reading her blog/tweets/FB... No offense man, but it's coming across a little e-stalkerish.
post #59 of 126
I want to start a whiny dating thread.
post #60 of 126
yah, its really lame how much your facebook profile is social currency nowadays. You get completely judged by it by most.
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