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Is this appropriate "thank you email?"

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
Hello guys,

This is how my story went. Unilever in Thailand just had this thing called "future leader program." The way it worked was it consisted with four steps. First one, the only picked handful of applicants to do alptitude test. The second one, they announced the result of the test and the third one was the phone interview. The last one was the one that they called assessment day.

I went through all the process to the 4th one and they just announced the result today that I don't get the position.

First, I thought that I would just let it go and live my life so I could move on and looking for other opportunities, but I had the second thought so I decided to send the email which stated exactly as the following;

Hello there,

__________________________________________________________________________
First of all, I'd like to thank you for giving me the opportunity that I had never had before. I had learnt a lot from it and I sure hope that I would be able to take advantage and get fimiliar with the whole process.

I have high expectation to obtain this position as I thought that I had really given it my all when I went through the process of assessment. Obviously, it was not good enough and I'm afraid to say that I'm disappointed in myself. However, whatever happened in past would only make me to become a better person so I can only move on from this point.

I don't know if it is possible, but it would be highly appreciative of you to give me a feedback of what more I could have done.

Thank you for your concerns and goodbye

(my name)
__________________________________________________________________________

I understand there are some grammar issueswith my writing as my English is the second language. However, I would appreciate your feedback.

Thank you
post #2 of 19
Came across as a bit weak and pathetic. I think a simple thank you for the opportunity would've sufficed.
post #3 of 19
Are you a native English speaker? Because there are numerous errors here--I would at least fix those before even considering sending this off.
post #4 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheIdler View Post
Are you a native English speaker? Because there are numerous errors here--I would at least fix those before even considering sending this off.

+1


At a minimum, try communicating effectively on paper.
post #5 of 19
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheIdler View Post
Are you a native English speaker? Because there are numerous errors here--I would at least fix those before even considering sending this off.

Is this supposed to be a joke? I have written that my english is my second language at the end of my original post.

However, if you are serious, I would appreciate it if you can help me correcting my grammar. Thank you!
post #6 of 19
I would simply say thanks for the opportunity and then directly ask for constructive criticism and feedback. No need to talk about how you think you did your best but that it wasn't enough, etc. Short and simple. That being said, I doubt you will get any good feedback, let alone a response to an email like that. At least I never did, lol.
post #7 of 19
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DerekS View Post
Came across as a bit weak and pathetic. I think a simple thank you for the opportunity would've sufficed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenFrog View Post
I would simply say thanks for the opportunity and then directly ask for constructive criticism and feedback. No need to talk about how you think you did your best but that it wasn't enough, etc. Short and simple.

That being said, I doubt you will get any good feedback, let alone a response to an email like that. At least I never did, lol.

Thank you to both of you.

I have sent back the email within an hour after knowing that I did not get a job. Therefore, there was a lot of emotion running through me. At the time, I didn't think it was inappropriate.
Oh well, live and learn.
post #8 of 19
Ha, sorry, man! Honestly, I didn't read past the line at the end of the email--that's usually where people on SF have their signature, so I completely missed where you said you weren't a native speaker. If I were you, I wouldn't send this email. You're asking them to put time into something which offers them little to no benefit, and I doubt that you'll actually learn anything that will be really useful. It's generally not the case that you could have "done more" and then gotten the position; it's that they found somebody better (at least in their eyes). Listen to GreenFrog. All that being said, if you decide you really must send this--and you're not doing just because you're disappointed--take GreenFrog's advice and then find a friend who is a native English speaker to proofread whatever you send off. Good luck and sorry again for the misunderstanding. Edit: Just read what you said above. Oh, well, not really much harm done. As you say, live and learn!
post #9 of 19
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheIdler View Post
Ha, sorry, man! Honestly, I didn't read past the line at the end of the email--that's usually where people on SF have their signature, so I completely missed where you said you weren't a native speaker.

If I were you, I wouldn't send this email. You're asking them to put time into something which offers them little to no benefit, and I doubt that you'll actually learn anything that will be really useful. It's generally not the case that you could have "done more" and then gotten the position; it's that they found somebody better (at least in their eyes). Listen to GreenFrog.

All that being said, if you decide you really must send this--and you're not doing just because you're disappointed--take GreenFrog's advice and then find a friend who is a native English speaker to proofread whatever you send off.

Good luck and sorry again for the misunderstanding.

Edit: Just read what you said above. Oh, well, not really much harm done. As you say, live and learn!

Please consider apology accepted.
It is very good point which brought out. Asking them to give me feedback would really do them no good. Since they do not want to hire me, they can only think of me as a piece of garbage.
Thank you!
post #10 of 19
yeah, i hate to say it, but that e-mail would only make me more convinced i had made the correct decision in not hiring you. people want decisiveness and confidence in an applicant, not a sort of hand wringing "i'm disappointed in myself" weirdness. Why are you disappointed in yourself? You didn't get the job - it's not a referendum on you as a person. If there were a concrete thing you think you didn't do well, I guess I understand some disappointment, but then go work on it. It sounds like that's not the case - you're disappointed in yourself for some unknown reason that you're hoping they're going to shed light on. Honestly, you have to just let it go. Sometimes people choose applicants based on a variety of factors, perhaps having nothing to do with you or your skills - maybe they just wanted someone with more experience, or experience in a certain arena. How can you be "disappointed" with yourself over that? All thank you e-mails w/r/t rejection letters, if they are to be sent at all, should be very simple and read like this: *** Dear XXX, Thank you for the consideration you provided during my interview for YYY. I understand you have chosen to move in a different direction with this position. While I am disappointed not to be have been selected, I remain appreciative for the opportunity, and I hope you will keep me in mind should there be any future opportunities that fit my skill set. Sincerely, ZZZ *** If you're going to salvage anything, this is the only way, IMO. They're never going to respond to you and give you feedback. Good luck as your search continues...
post #11 of 19
Short and simple
post #12 of 19
Hello XXX (include names)

It was great meeting with (NAME or someone you met with, or YOU or the Unilever team) on XXX(date) regarding the XXX(position). I gained a lot of insight into what your company is about and am still very interested in pursuing this and related roles further.

I received confirmation that my application has been declined at this point. In the interest of self-improvement, I would greatly appreciate just a few minutes of your time to understand in more detail:
1. What were some of the positive and negative comments about my interview?
2. Are there other opportunities with Unilever that you think might be better aligned with my skill-set?
3. I would really value any other advice or guidance you could share with me.

Thank you and I look forward to hearing back from you soon,
NAME



or something along those lines...
post #13 of 19
Absolutely agree with sending a well written note after rejection. I got a job once after sending a note like that.
post #14 of 19
I would take Douglas' letter and add a request for feedback. Real men want to better themselves.
post #15 of 19
Thread Starter 
Thanks a lot guys.

Some of your comments are very straightforward, so it hurts my feeling a bit whn I read that.

However, at the end of the day, it is true of what you guys said so I guess I really learnt a lot from this entire process.
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