Remove the waistcoat, open the top shirt button, and buy some trousers with a wider leg (as those make your legs look like matchsticks), and this would be a pretty decent look. I am impressed by the shoos.
Anyone telling you to go to SW&D should, maybe, actually, go look in some of their threads. He's one of us, guys...
You sure you don't want to recommend gray instead of navy while he's swapping trousers and switching out his jacket for a patch pocket navy blazer? Or are you trying to convert him slowly?
I've spent a decent amount of time lurking SWD, and frankly recommendations such as yours are the entire reason I tried to send him there. The aesthetic that he presents here is much more in line with a SWD look than the MC casual that would result from following all of your advice. Ergo, I contend that he would receive better feedback over there than over here. It's not that I'm offended by his presence, rather his look isn't likely to be encouraged here and attempts to have him "conform" are much more likely.
That said, those that are much more my senior here seem to want him to stick around and I assume that there are reasons for that; but at least they are encouraging him in a way that doesn't attempt to entirely destroy his chosen aesthetic.