However, I am striving for elegance, and now coherence; and every choice I make I base on balance of colour / textures / design and so on. I'm still learning and coherence will be another factor to consider, but unless something jumps out to my eye (and I feel I have a decent enough eye - at least, I know what I like) then I'll be happy with it and I'll go with it. Coherence, I guess, is taking things to a slightly more esoteric level, which may result in flaws in a fit, or on the other side, complete balance.
This sounds like just the right attitude to me. And we're all learning, the first step is just admitting it!