CEP: I don't think there's anything wrong with Victor's collar - it's not really a cutaway, hence the points showing. In that sense, I think it's the right level of casual formality to match the other elements you rightly mentioned. I think the problem is that it's white, against a white pocket square, a casual suit with a formal colour (blue), and an almost-matching blue tie. Two cool, formal colours, that are both too cold for the more casual style, and too matching. I think this is what's creating the dissonance you mention.
My suggestion would be to change the colour or texture of the shirt to something softer - a fine gingham, subtle stripe, or some kind of flannel if the climate allows. Moving the tie out of the same colour family - perhaps to rust, dark brown, even something burgundy/reddish, would help enormously. Alternatively the spell could also be broken by simply changing the crisp white linen square for a foppish paisley silk in, say, burgundy and gold - to pick up the loafers, tie them into the clothes, and break up the white vs blue duopoly. :)