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Check your Gentleman at the Door - Page 2

post #16 of 32
I completely agree.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Violinist
wow do you crush beer cans on your forehead and ejaculate all over your girlfriend's face afterwards? I'm by no means a feminist but this whole idea of the ultra macho bachelor party is so pathetic. Here in montreal you see these 30 somethings totally wasted by 12, puking on the sidewalks and getting their asses beaten by bouncers as they head back to the holiday inn to meet up with whatever whores they booked for the night. Besides Vegas, Montreal has got to be bachelor party central for Americans, and it is almost always just what I said, pathetic. It's clear to me that a lot of these guys never really party that much, so they try to recreate whatever they've seen in movies and end up exposing themselves as pretty big rookies.

I think getting together with your friends is really cool, get wasted, get a bunch of strippers/whores for your friends if that's what's up... but cheating on the woman you love before you marry her (which implies that you believe in monogamy and embrace certain traditional values), makes no sense on a philosophical level. If you have an open relationship and your girl is cool like that, then that's great. I'm sure swinging is a lot of fun, but if your whole thing is the white picket fence, mini van and the golden retriever, I think the idea of the overwraught bachelor party is really lame.

PS. About looking, I totally agree. My assumption here is actual sexual acts, not just a peep show. If that's all it is, then I don't really care. Seeing another naked woman isn't that big a deal, but sex is if you're doing the whole marriage thing.
post #17 of 32
LAGuy, I promise I won't take part in this conversation.
post #18 of 32
Wait, where is it written that a bachelor party necessarily involves cheating? For my part, I'd love to have a great bachelor party with plenty of drunken debauchery, but cheating is off-limits. Cheating is cheating, no matter what night it is. No free passes for me unless I'm willing to give her one, too, and my fiancee and I are very clear on the fact that neither of us is cool with that. But I can still get drunk and stupid and act irresponsibly one last time before I put my testicles in a jar and hide them away forever in the garage, behind the paint samples and old tricycles.
post #19 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saucemaster
Wait, where is it written that a bachelor party necessarily involves cheating? For my part, I'd love to have a great bachelor party with plenty of drunken debauchery, but cheating is off-limits. Cheating is cheating, no matter what night it is. No free passes for me unless I'm willing to give her one, too, and my fiancee and I are very clear on the fact that neither of us is cool with that. But I can still get drunk and stupid and act irresponsibly one last time before I put my testicles in a jar and hide them away forever in the garage, behind the paint samples and old tricycles.

Exactly (except for the testicles part - my wife lets me take them out every other weekend for almost two hours). My bachelor party was dinner at a nice steak restaurant followed by a venture to a gentlemen's club. There was absolutely no cheating, and everyone had a really good time.
post #20 of 32
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by EL72
I have to assume you have not been in a long term relationship long enough to appreciate the virtues of seeing a different rack and booty once in a while. Doesn't mean you're gonna cheat but looking is fine. You ever watch a porn flick with your woman?



I think that's the most lame and pathetic statement. Perhaps you should watch Beaches with your fiancee before your wedding so you can bond more or something.


OK, OK... where did this notion of cheating come from? That was NOT my original question. I am talking about Farm Animals, Midget Olympics, Tractor Pulls... just typical guy stuff....

I am glad we are having this conversation. It gets to the heart of it all.
post #21 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by richstyle
Vegas, baby, hands down. You will not regret it. Atlantic City is depressing; stay away.

Bachelor party is depressing in its concept, so Atlantic City might be just the place.

Bachelor party is:
Drink, smoke cigars, make a lot of pussy jokes and then go to strip club to ogle women you have always been too afraid to talk to. Good ol American fun.
post #22 of 32
Violinist:

To me a Bachelor party is about friends. Its one last time to go out and have fun with your boys without worrying about being inconsiderate to your significant other. Work and eventually family will begin to erode those times out with your friends down to a once a month affair if that. The last bachelor party I went to we did drink a fair bit and reminiced about old times and yes there was the necessary visit to the strip club, but since when did that constitute cheating? Point of fact personally I have never heard in real life of someone cheating on their SO at a bachelor or bachelorette party, I think you've watched one to many movies. Also girls love bachelorette parties and usually get as crazy if not crazier than guys, I can't count the number of times I've been thrown into random girls as they are getting married.

I think your melodramatic surmoning is evidence of your own inferiority complex, and if you had actually ever been to a bachelor party with friends you would take a bullet for you would know that its just that one last hooray like the ultimate birthday party. While I agree that vomiting in the street and being beaten by bouncers is wrong, I will defend to my dying breath the right for people to go out and have fun and be stupid as long as they are not hurting anyone else. If thats not your cup of tea than fine, but don't try and push your brand of politically correct feminist propoganda down someones throat who is just trying to plan a great party for his best friend.
post #23 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by farooqm
being beaten by bouncers
I dunno... I think I may consider a groom with a black eye to have had a very successful bachelor party. Have I just been hanging around with too many Irish folk lately? PS: Another reason to have the bachelor party more than a day in advance of the actual wedding, if possible.
post #24 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Violinist
wow do you crush beer cans on your forehead and ejaculate all over your girlfriend's face afterwards? I'm by no means a feminist but this whole idea of the ultra macho bachelor party is so pathetic. Here in montreal you see these 30 somethings totally wasted by 12, puking on the sidewalks and getting their asses beaten by bouncers as they head back to the holiday inn to meet up with whatever whores they booked for the night. Besides Vegas, Montreal has got to be bachelor party central for Americans, and it is almost always just what I said, pathetic. It's clear to me that a lot of these guys never really party that much, so they try to recreate whatever they've seen in movies and end up exposing themselves as pretty big rookies.

I think getting together with your friends is really cool, get wasted, get a bunch of strippers/whores for your friends if that's what's up... but cheating on the woman you love before you marry her (which implies that you believe in monogamy and embrace certain traditional values), makes no sense on a philosophical level. If you have an open relationship and your girl is cool like that, then that's great. I'm sure swinging is a lot of fun, but if your whole thing is the white picket fence, mini van and the golden retriever, I think the idea of the overwraught bachelor party is really lame.

PS. About looking, I totally agree. My assumption here is actual sexual acts, not just a peep show. If that's all it is, then I don't really care. Seeing another naked woman isn't that big a deal, but sex is if you're doing the whole marriage thing.

Violinist,

I was born in Montreal and lived there for the first 26 years my life (the last three very near those downtown strip clubs) so I know exactly what you are talking about. That said, while I don't condone cheating, I object to your holier-than-thou attitude about bachelor parties being pathetic and lame. I have seen bachelor parties of all kinds, some with "cheating", most without. They are usually fun just because you and a group of good friends get together and let loose.

Ultimately, it comes down to the character and the type of man getting married whether sex happens. Since you know Montreal clubs, you will also realize that sexual acts can mean many things besides intercourse. Is "une danse a dix (ou vingt)" a sexual act? There are strip clubs, massage parlors... where many things happen short of sex.

My sense is that most guys who get nasty with hookers on their bachelor parties are the first ones to cheat while on business trips... The one-last-roll-in-the-hay-before-I-settle-down justification is rarely true. Nevertheless, I don't think you should paint all bachelor parties as lame and pathetic the way you do, especially since it seems you've never even been to one and just see some drunk guys in the street who you assume will cheat on their wives.

It's just as well you don't want a stag party because your condescending attitude is surely the reason you couldn't get enough guys together for one that involved anything more than a chess match.
post #25 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dkzzzz
Bachelor party is depressing in its concept, so Atlantic City might be just the place. Bachelor party is: Drink, smoke cigars, make a lot of pussy jokes and then go to strip club to ogle women you have always been too afraid to talk to. Good ol American fun.
I am so glad that we depress you. You seem like a complete jerk and it makes me happy that you are sad. I did not have a bachelor party, but I don't find anything particularly wrong with one. I go when my friends have them and almost always enjoy myself. I just didn't feel like doing the whole out late thing so fifteen of us just went and played 36 holes of golf and crashed afterwards.
post #26 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by farooqm
Violinist:

To me a Bachelor party is about friends. Its one last time to go out and have fun with your boys without worrying about being inconsiderate to your significant other. Work and eventually family will begin to erode those times out with your friends down to a once a month affair if that. The last bachelor party I went to we did drink a fair bit and reminiced about old times and yes there was the necessary visit to the strip club, but since when did that constitute cheating? Point of fact personally I have never heard in real life of someone cheating on their SO at a bachelor or bachelorette party, I think you've watched one to many movies. Also girls love bachelorette parties and usually get as crazy if not crazier than guys, I can't count the number of times I've been thrown into random girls as they are getting married.

I think your melodramatic surmoning is evidence of your own inferiority complex, and if you had actually ever been to a bachelor party with friends you would take a bullet for you would know that its just that one last hooray like the ultimate birthday party. While I agree that vomiting in the street and being beaten by bouncers is wrong, I will defend to my dying breath the right for people to go out and have fun and be stupid as long as they are not hurting anyone else. If thats not your cup of tea than fine, but don't try and push your brand of politically correct feminist propoganda down someones throat who is just trying to plan a great party for his best friend.

farooqm...

I go out as much or more than anyone here. I get very drunk, get very belligerent, yell, say terrible things, and act outrageous. I've done that many, many times throughout my life, so I've definately partied very hard and know what that's all about. What I think sucks is that you have to wait to get married to do that, and that it seems so forced. Again, I'm used to doing exactly what you describe, but on a weekly basis. As of about 3 weeks ago I've stopped, as I drink way too much and it contributes to a weight problem. I often drink an entire 26oz bottle of something very hard, and it isn't good for me, so that's why I've stopped.

Therefore, I've sinned a lot and know that lifestyle. To me it's all about context. I've heard of a lot of guys fucking whores on their last night as unmarried men, and if that's cool with your wife than alright. Anyways, my insecurities have nothing to do with these issues. There's people on this forum who know me in person and can attest to what I sometimes do for fun so I don't really have anything to hide.

I just think "bachelor parties" are kind of a joke, but if that's what you think is fun then have a great time. I envision something different for the night before I get married, because I've done what many would consider the "bachelor party" thing since I was 17, so I'm kind of over it.

EL72, no a lap dance (I think they're 20 now, but I haven't been since 1st year) doesn't constitute cheating. I am comming from the idea that a lot of guys view their girl as a "ball and chain", and the bachelor party is a manifestation of that. THat's part of my problem with marriage. I don't really believe in marriage by the way. And yes, I definately have a group of people to go out with. I spent a lot of time at places like Tokyo, Lodge, Winnies, Vol, and sometimes Globe. The last time I was out was at Opera, and that was with 20 guys. I personally prefer being with 3-4 people, but if you think going out with liek 20 guys in this big crew is cool, then have fun.
post #27 of 32
You're railing about generalizations, not about anything HeavyD said. Ultimately, as the bachelor I will retain control over the sort of experience I want to have. And that experience will be shaped by my desires, my fiance, and my friends. I don't see how anyone else has a place in commenting on my preferences.

But, to the extent we want to talk about the idea in general, no bachelor party I've been to has had any "cheating." Based on those experiences, here are what I would see as my own reasons for having a bachelor party, if and when the time comes:

(1) A celebration of my choice to enter into marriage, which is a big deal.
(2) An affirmation by my friends that they support me in the choice to marry, which is important because marriages are hard. Who know, I may have cold feet at that point.
(3) As someone else noted, a chance to spend time with my friends, as I may not have much time in the future.
(4) An excuse to have a party. I will define what type of party I want. If I think it's fun to do it up in Vegas (but I don't), then I'll go to Vegas. If I think it's fun to go camping, I'll do that. But there is no necessary connection between having a party and puking or getting laid.

Anyway, HeavyD, go to Vegas. The gambling is a good form of debaucherous entertainment, whereas there's nothing to do in Miami but eat well and then go to clubs to hook up. Try to go when there's a fight--that would be fun.
post #28 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Violinist
farooqm...

As of about 3 weeks ago I've stopped, as I drink way too much and it contributes to a weight problem. I often drink an entire 26oz bottle of something very hard, and it isn't good for me, so that's why I've stopped.


Good luck.
post #29 of 32
"...so fifteen of us just went and played 36 holes of golf and crashed afterwards."

You are a party animal.

BTW IMO Vegas is the most un-sexy waistland of American fatrolls in shorts I have ever witnessed.
All those TV shows and celebrity endorsements are not going to convince me to ever set my foot there again.
But on another hand if one grew up on McD and Disneyland then Vegas might sound like promised land.
post #30 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by dkzzzz
BTW IMO Vegas is the most un-sexy waistland of American fatrolls in shorts I have ever witnessed.
All those TV shows and celebrity endorsements are not going to convince me to ever set my foot there again.
But on another hand if one grew up on McD and Disneyland then Vegas might sound like promised land.

That's a silly observation. It's one of the biggest tourist destinations in America, and it specifically caters to all strata of society. The people therefore run the gamut from very attractive to very unattractive. Your comment is akin to me going to the Costa Brava and concluding that everyone who goes there is an English slob or a teenage Euro-idiot. Clearly you can't make such a broad generalization--there are sexy people in Vegas, and good times to be had. It's not my kind of vacation spot, and I probably won't be going back, but it's not totally unsexy.

What's the connection between Disneyland, McDonald's, and Vegas?
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