
I just saw this in the bathroom and my face was literally

for the next couple minutes: I walk into the bathroom to take a leak and I see one of the math professors standing in front of the urinal. Normally I'd have gone over and used the urinal, but it seemed like he was busy with something so I veered towards a stall. As I pass by, I see him reach forward into the urinal, and scoop something up with his hand. I have no idea what it was, or why, but he did it slowly, with purpose. I also know that I heard him make a quick sucking noise a few seconds later with his mouth. And before he left, there was no sound of running water.

This guy has always seemed weird to me, but now I know. I will never, ever shake his hand.