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Girl Issues, Need Advice vol. infinity - Page 8

post #106 of 347
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraiche View Post
This is bizarre to me.... Why would you make out with someone couple of times without the intent to have sex with them later??
Yeah, that was weird. Unless something happened between them casually making out and her wanting sex. Edit: daaaammmn, just read some of the OP's replies and it doesn't look good. At least I wasn't a cocky asshole when I was still a virgin.
post #107 of 347
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwilkinson View Post
I get where you're coming from, and going on a first date saying "How do I make this girl my girlfriend" is silly and unproductive. But I don't get going on a first date just trying to get sex, either. I want to go on a first date to see if I have a connection with a girl. If I do, then I'll think about a second date, future, sex, and all of that stuff. But I'd never go into a date just trying to have fun and get laid. Maybe that explains why I don't get laid, but it doesn't matter b/c that fact doesn't bother me.

I don't go on first dates trying to get laid either,she might have cooties or somehting you never know. I go on the first date to figure out if I want to have sex with her.
post #108 of 347
Quote:
Originally Posted by christinedaae View Post
Women can smell the desperation in you are trying to force a women you don't know ito be your GF or Wife, women want you to want them for them, not because you want a GF and she's there, which is what you are saying when you go into a date iwth the intention of making this woman your exclusive partner without her proving anything to you other then possibly being cute.

Whereas they can't smell the desperation when you're trying to have sex with them?

No, it doesn't say much for you if you're already planning the wedding on your first date. But, it doesn't say much for you if you're planning on screwing a woman when you don't know her, either. Let a date be a date; it goes where it goes based on how much you enjoy each other's company before sex or anything else becomes an issue. If you click, the sex is gonna happen on whatever date, no rush. If you don't click, sex is a bad idea, biological urges notwithstanding.
post #109 of 347
Quote:
Originally Posted by mm84321 View Post
From my experience, having girls as friends is a finite experience. Ultimately, there will come a day when you will no longer wish to be part of such platonic relationships, as they are seemingly useless. I believe this to be the male's penile instincts at work.
I don't have much
time but I have to respond to this

look, if you think women and men can be true platonic friends, just go ahead and put a bullett in your head right now beucase you are fucking worthless. they cna't.. well me me rephrase that. they can, under the assumption that the issue of sex has been addressed.


I have what I call a female friend test. what is that you might ask, well i will tell you. if my "friend" waslked into my bathroom, and came out startch naked,and said "i want you, i have always wanted you and I ant to have butt naked sex all night long with you now" would I say "okay babe go put your clothes on because I value your friendship too much". Because that's exactly what a friend would do. more times than not, you are attracted to her, but she isn't attracted to you or visa versa, and in that situation, there cannot be a real friendship.l you might have out, you might do shit together, byut you aren't friends, becuase if you like her, you can't give her objective advice, and if she likes you she can't give you objective advice. I speak from 100% experience, i had a "friend" that I tried for years to convince myself i could be her friend, and every once and a while the real me would come out and try to screw her lol. we did this for almost 10 years. Every peice of advice I gave her in hindsight, was a chess move. YOu think that "friend" of yours if you turned her down is going to give you great fyuckign advice on women lol? think again buddy.


Then to make matters worse, if you happened to have 1, it becomes a habit of not being aggressive. if I'm talking to a woman damnit i want the poon and that's that, and I don't eel the least bit bad about being honest about it. time you can be spent with that friend you could be out finding women, that actually want to have sex with you. Its' just not efficent at all. But the media and weak punk guys try and women try to tell you otherwise, women dont' want to give up the free ride. I've had female friends, when I was in AA, when I just would not allow myself to go down that route regardless and fuck even that didn't work out, i brought my GF around to a meeting one day and one of my "best friends" gave me the 'where is our relationship going" talk and I thought this was my ace boon coon (She was pretty cute too, if she wasn't in AA with me, i'd had dated her)

women. and men. cannot be friends if one is attracted to the other. Why the hell even play with yourself like that I have no idea.

You don't want to fucking hear about how great her BF is, you want to hit it. She doesn't want to hear about how good a time me and my girl had late night, she wants to be that girl.
post #110 of 347
Quote:
Originally Posted by pstoller View Post
Whereas they can't smell the desperation when you're trying to have sex with them?

No, it doesn't say much for you if you're already planning the wedding on your first date. But, it doesn't say much for you if you're planning on screwing a woman when you don't know her, either. Let a date be a date; it goes where it goes based on how much you enjoy each other's company before sex or anything else becomes an issue. If you click, the sex is gonna happen on whatever date, no rush. If you don't click, sex is a bad idea, biological urges notwithstanding.

No, they can't. dude, i won't dic lose how many women i have had sex with, i dont' know it's the exact woman, but it's pretty freaking close to 100. it's the chicken and the egg. i'm not desperate e becuase i know i can get laid by someone right now if i wanted to. at this moment., i dont' go on dates trying to get laid, and that in turn, makes women want to screw me.


every thing i tell you, is from my experiences with the opposite sex. I'm not guessing. From the times I've crashed and burned, from the times i've gotten women to give it up within 30 minutes of me meeting them. I've been engaged i've been single for years at a time


Your entire post reeks of theory. I can go to a girl and say look woman, let's do it. right now. doesn't mean I'm desperate at all. just means I find her attractive and i want to do it with her. I'm smoother than that i assure you, but making it known that you want ot have sex with a woman is exactly what a woman wants. there is a reason women don't ask me to be friends (Anymore at least)
post #111 of 347
Quote:
Originally Posted by red dragon View Post
No benefit in having female friends - aside from their friends...


most won't even do that.

I remember, when I was in AA this was maybe 4 years ago, I had this friend.. and she was a cutie but she was young like 19, and I was 24 at the time, there was something there but there wasn't if that makes sense, but she was cool and saw me like her big brother and i didn't date inside aA anyway and my sponsor had been trying to get me to make women friends so I was giving this shit a try lol. Anyway, there WAS a girl I was about to start being exclusive with. This girl, asked me if i wanted to grab a bite to eat. I'm like cool let's go. we go to red lobster, which she recommend. turns out, the girl i was about to date, her best friend worked there. we sat in her section, the girl i was about to date, would not call me or talk to me for a week becuase rumors were now going around i was cheating on her with this chick. The girl i was with, knew exactly what she was doing.s he didn't want to date me, but you know what, at the same time, she didn't ant me dating anyone else either. becuase when i did, the free lunches @ red lobster were going to come to an end.

there is no magical land, where women don't want to date you, yet think you would be great with their best friends. that's not how women think. if a woman does not think you are good enough for her, neither are you good enough for her friends. In 10 years of me chasing that one girl, I think i might have met 1 of her friends.
post #112 of 347
Quote:
Originally Posted by christinedaae View Post
most won't even do that.

I remember, when I was in AA this was maybe 4 years ago, I had this friend.. and she was a cutie but she was young like 19, and I was 24 at the time, there was something there but there wasn't if that makes sense, but she was cool and saw me like her big brother and i didn't date inside aA anyway and my sponsor had been trying to get me to make women friends so I was giving this shit a try lol. Anyway, there WAS a girl I was about to start being exclusive with. This girl, asked me if i wanted to grab a bite to eat. I'm like cool let's go. we go to red lobster, which she recommend. turns out, the girl i was about to date, her best friend worked there. we sat in her section, the girl i was about to date, would not call me or talk to me for a week becuase rumors were now going around i was cheating on her with this chick. The girl i was with, knew exactly what she was doing.s he didn't want to date me, but you know what, at the same time, she didn't ant me dating anyone else either. becuase when i did, the free lunches @ red lobster were going to come to an end.

there is no magical land, where women don't want to date you, yet think you would be great with their best friends. that's not how women think. if a woman does not think you are good enough for her, neither are you good enough for her friends. In 10 years of me chasing that one girl, I think i might have met 1 of her friends.

Bah, I have several female friends that I like to spend time with occasionally. We aren't true friends in a sense that we only meet for drinks once every few months, but we enjoy knowing each other on a purely platonic level. I cannot speak for them, but it seems that neither of us want to take it a step further. In other words, you are overreacting. Maybe you should meet smarter, more mature women.
post #113 of 347
Quote:
Originally Posted by christinedaae View Post
I don't have much time but I have to respond to this look, if you think women and men can be true platonic friends, just go ahead and put a bullett in your head right now beucase you are fucking worthless. they cna't.. well me me rephrase that. they can, under the assumption that the issue of sex has been addressed. I have what I call a female friend test. what is that you might ask, well i will tell you. if my "friend" waslked into my bathroom, and came out startch naked,and said "i want you, i have always wanted you and I ant to have butt naked sex all night long with you now" would I say "okay babe go put your clothes on because I value your friendship too much". Because that's exactly what a friend would do. more times than not, you are attracted to her, but she isn't attracted to you or visa versa, and in that situation, there cannot be a real friendship.l you might have out, you might do shit together, byut you aren't friends, becuase if you like her, you can't give her objective advice, and if she likes you she can't give you objective advice. I speak from 100% experience, i had a "friend" that I tried for years to convince myself i could be her friend, and every once and a while the real me would come out and try to screw her lol. we did this for almost 10 years. Every peice of advice I gave her in hindsight, was a chess move. YOu think that "friend" of yours if you turned her down is going to give you great fyuckign advice on women lol? think again buddy. Then to make matters worse, if you happened to have 1, it becomes a habit of not being aggressive. if I'm talking to a woman damnit i want the poon and that's that, and I don't eel the least bit bad about being honest about it. time you can be spent with that friend you could be out finding women, that actually want to have sex with you. Its' just not efficent at all. But the media and weak punk guys try and women try to tell you otherwise, women dont' want to give up the free ride. I've had female friends, when I was in AA, when I just would not allow myself to go down that route regardless and fuck even that didn't work out, i brought my GF around to a meeting one day and one of my "best friends" gave me the 'where is our relationship going" talk and I thought this was my ace boon coon (She was pretty cute too, if she wasn't in AA with me, i'd had dated her) women. and men. cannot be friends if one is attracted to the other. Why the hell even play with yourself like that I have no idea. You don't want to fucking hear about how great her BF is, you want to hit it. She doesn't want to hear about how good a time me and my girl had late night, she wants to be that girl.
I respect your stance. I'm not sure I agree with it 100%, but it's an interesting opinion. I think that a platonic friendship will "work" if, and only if, it will ultimately blossom into something more. Ostensibly, there is an underlying reason that the opposite sex attract, be it a romantic relationship or otherwise.
post #114 of 347
Let's be clear with the definition: platonic friends are just female friends you have no attraction to whatsoever.

Girls you are waiting to eff should not be in this category.
post #115 of 347
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraiche View Post
Let's be clear with the definition: platonic friends are just female friends you have no attraction to whatsoever.
Then why would you be friends with them at all in the first place? Their personality? Please. Every platonic female friend I've ever had I've at least been attracted to at least a little. If we are speaking strictly in terms of superficiality, I've never had a girl friend that would be considered unattractive in the slightest.
post #116 of 347
Quote:
Originally Posted by mm84321 View Post
Then why would you be friends with them at all in the first place? Their personality? Please. Every platonic female friend I've ever had I've at least been attracted to at least a little. If we are speaking strictly in terms of superficiality, I've never had a girl friend that would be considered unattractive in the slightest.

So you're fourteen?
post #117 of 347
Quote:
Originally Posted by mm84321 View Post
I respect your stance. I'm not sure I agree with it 100%, but it's an interesting opinion. I think that a platonic friendship will "work" if, and only if, it will ultimately blossom into something more. Ostensibly, there is an underlying reason that the opposite sex attract, be it a romantic relationship or otherwise.
you need to get me when i have actual time. but i will leave t his to think about... what situation is there, when a woman doesn't want to date you for 4 years - 6 years, - 10 years, then out of the blue, finally realizes what great person you are... when she has ran out of options. If you are okay with being an emergency in case of fire break open guy, by all means, and you might not even get that. I run a web development company, one of my, actually my best graphic guy, just got married in november, I'm happy for the guy. He was "best friends" with his wife for 14 years. 14 years of watching her screw every guy she could (and me having to hear about it at work, and watching his work load slip becuase he's going back and forth with her writing books for email responses on a daily basis), and sitting at home talking to him about it, and now she "wised up" and he has to foot the bill after everyone has.. you get where i am going. no thanks. I will never tell him that because I don't talk like this to my employees, but, you see it time and time again. why would a guy even torment himself like that, I don't know. My old girl who i was friends with, was so twisted, she knew how i tell aobut her, whenever i really would kinda start liking someone else, she would throw it on heavy, like she was getting ready to take the jump, making me break it off with who i was with, she knew she was already the one i wanted "(at the time, now you can have her lol), and all it took is a few nights over my house (no sex lol) or a few late night phone calls saying the right things to get me to leave who i was with, every freaking time. then, when i would call her on it she would say "i don't know what you are talking about' if a woman doesn't lke you like that, she doesnt' like you like that. men aren't women. they don't think anything alike
post #118 of 347
Quote:
Originally Posted by christinedaae View Post
you need to get me when i have actual time. but i will leave t his to think about... what situation is there, when a woman doesn't want to date you for 4 years - 6 years, - 10 years, then out of the blue, finally realizes what great person you are... when she has ran out of options. If you are okay with being an emergency in case of fire break open guy, by all means, and you might not even get that. I run a web development company, one of my, actually my best graphic guy, just got married in november, I'm happy for the guy. He was "best friends" with his wife for 14 years. 14 years of watching her screw every guy she could (and me having to hear about it at work, and watching his work load slip becuase he's going back and forth with her writing books for email responses on a daily basis), and sitting at home talking to him about it, and now she "wised up" and he has to foot the bill after everyone has.. you get where i am going. no thanks. I will never tell him that because I don't talk like this to my employees, but, you see it time and time again. why would a guy even torment himself like that, I don't know. My old girl who i was friends with, was so twisted, she knew how i tell aobut her, whenever i really would kinda start liking someone else, she would throw it on heavy, like she was getting ready to take the jump, making me break it off with who i was with, she knew she was already the one i wanted "(at the time, now you can have her lol), and all it took is a few nights over my house (no sex lol) or a few late night phone calls saying the right things to get me to leave who i was with, every freaking time. then, when i would call her on it she would say "i don't know what you are talking about' if a woman doesn't lke you like that, she doesnt' like you like that. men aren't women. they don't think anything alike
I've had a few interesting relationships with women, where after being friends for a matter of a few years romantic feelings were expressed to me, although at the time I did not feel the same way, and so I essentially ignored them and continued on with just being friends. Then after a couple of summers, my feelings began to change, but at that point it was basically a moot point as we were both off at different colleges. So I don't think it's as cut and dry as you present it, but I generally agree with most of your conclusions.
post #119 of 347
Quote:
Originally Posted by christinedaae View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by pstoller
Whereas they can't smell the desperation when you're trying to have sex with them?
No, they can't. dude, i won't dic lose how many women i have had sex with, i dont' know it's the exact woman, but it's pretty freaking close to 100.
Thanks for the best laugh I've had all day. If you're just trying to get laid, women can generally smell it miles away. And guys who tout their bedpost notches to impress people aren't anywhere near as confident or cool as they pretend to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by christinedaae
i dont' go on dates trying to get laid, and that in turn, makes women want to screw me.
When kwilk wrote that sex isn't the end game, your answer was, "pretty much it is." If so, then you're going on dates trying to get laid. If you're not, then kwilk is right. (Actually, he's right either way.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by christinedaae
every thing i tell you, is from my experiences with the opposite sex. I'm not guessing. From the times I've crashed and burned, from the times i've gotten women to give it up within 30 minutes of me meeting them. I've been engaged i've been single for years at a time Your entire post reeks of theory. I can go to a girl and say look woman, let's do it. right now. doesn't mean I'm desperate at all. just means I find her attractive and i want to do it with her. I'm smoother than that i assure you, but making it known that you want ot have sex with a woman is exactly what a woman wants. there is a reason women don't ask me to be friends (Anymore at least)
Everything you write is as if you're the only guy who has actual "experiences with the opposite sex." News flash: you're a long, long way from being the only guy on SF (let alone beyond this tiny microcosm) who's ever gotten laid. You haven't set any records for most partners bedded or quickest time from "hello" to penetration, and it wouldn't matter if you had because sex is not a competitive sport and getting a woman to fuck you doesn't mean you know squat about relationships. My posts aren't from theory; I've been amassing experience since before you were born. Nothing you've written is remotely revelatory. Some of it is true; some of it, not so much. You want to share your personal insights, hey, great; any informed point of view holds value. But your Mac Daddy act reeks mightily, and not of theory.
post #120 of 347
Quote:
Originally Posted by christinedaae View Post
I don't have much
time...

I thought you didn't have much time...
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