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Girl Issues, Need Advice vol. infinity

post #1 of 347
Thread Starter 
Yes fun fun, another topic at this again.

So the story:

There is this chick in my class in college, now after 5 months of our first year we have suddenly (I can't remember how it started) began talking to each other regularly. It first started on facebook and whenever I see her in class I try to talk to her. However, since actually our time spent out of class is greater during the day the talk is usually through the internet. Anyway, we've been talking and last Friday she accepted to do something with me that night. Before I had persuaded her to do something together, whatever it was, lunch, sports, basically anything, just to get to know her better. She made up excuses and breaking the ice here seemed difficult even though we had many hour-long conversations, both enjoying it. On that night it was all up to me to decide what to do, so we met and went to a lounge bar kind of place where I had never been before, but I heard it was good and we talked and had fun I suppose. After a few drinks she is already tipsy and at one point she admits that she never knew that she would go out with me. Being a bit startled, I of course ask why but she makes up lame ass excuses once again that dont make sense, I guess she just thought I was not her type. She's tipsy, willing to do anything almost, we head back and end up in my place where be have a bottle of champagne. She eventually falls in my bed, I sit next to her, definitely less drunk and shes telling how she is feeling ill and stuff. Eventually she just crawls under the blanket and falls asleep immediately. Having no idea what to do, I fall asleep next to her.

Next morning I wake up before her, not knowing whether to get up or not. I lay still, eventually hearing her wake up and letting out a few silent laughs and shaking her head in disbelief. I mean I had no idea what to think about this. I give her water, have a small chat and then she leaves.

Things have been since then continuing the same way as before, but today as I was sitting next to one of my female friends, she sat next to her friends a row in front of me and seemed like she didnt want to make any contact. After class, she also left quickly and I am sure she had seen me behind her.

Maybe its too early to say, but I really dont know where this is going. I still feel that I dont know her that well and her past relationships and social life in general. What also makes it hard is that she likes to play around with me all the time, saying stuff but then saying it was a joke. As one of the worst interpreters of women's minds, I feel that soon I will be completely lost with this. I want to keep the thing going so I invited her yesterday to a private party at a skyscraper next Saturday and she said she will have to see since her cousin and friend are coming .. I dont know. I guess if she eventually doesn't come then she wont want to go out with me anymore, but even though I never directly asked her I think she enjoyed it last weekend. Even though I would mostly prefer for her to be a close friend of mine where we can do cool stuff together I dont know what she is looking for. She definitely took our meeting as a date whereas I never understand why meeting a colleague out in the city can be more serious than that.

We have our own inside jokes and stuff, but I feel that soon this wont progress and I will just be a guy always making the initiatives on her and when she is bored I will be a good target to get some humor from, nothing else. In fact, when we went out I paid for her drinks and we both have acknowledged she owes me back, so I'm trying to use it as a bait to get her to go out with me again, especially since going out this weekend should be very cool where we can look over the city at night. I know you guys all think that shes laughing at the fact she got a "free meal", but I'm rather sure she will eventually pay it all back.

Confusing shit, I know, but I hope you guys understand my position in this.
post #2 of 347
It's not confusing, at all. It's done. On to the next one, playa.
post #3 of 347
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwilkinson View Post
It's not confusing, at all. It's done. On to the next one, playa.

Any rationale for this?

What I've understood so far is that she is rather sky in normal everyday circumstances, at maximum she has managed to say hi to me and once we actually even sat down for lunch with her friends. Also, once her coming late to class, she even managed to sit next to me which I thought was amazing. I even noticed one lesson last week that her friend was also smiling at me, clearly symbolizing that the word has spread since I dont know or talk to any of her friends. Just what annoys me is her genuine lack of interest, making me call the shots and always being the one to start a conversation. Also, her not having any preferences on what to do except neglecting a few things.. I dont know, I dont want this to be one-sided. Especially since I have a female friends who seem to be more open to me than her, asking me if I want to meet for coffee or something occasionally. She doesnt do this, we just talk shit with each other.

Though honestly I dont feel that its completely over, I am just looking for advice to how to play the game well and be on my personal A-game. Having fucked up a great relationship opportunity last year, what I'm looking for now is at least having a good friend to go out with on weekends at least.
post #4 of 347
My skimming skills aren't what they used to be, but if I'm reading this correctly, the peak of this "relationship" was her drunkenly passing out in a bed next to you?

Also, don't kid yourself with the, "I at least just want to be friends." No you don't. And there's nothing wrong with that. But as someone who's played that line of non-logic a time or two in the past, I can tell you that's more of a defense mechanism against admitting that you want something more and/or would feel like ripping the head off another guy she chose to date.

And if kwilk is saying "it's over," best believe it. This dude is what John Hughes modeled all of those eternally optimistic and persistent guys in his movies after who don't stop fighting until they overcome the odds and the fade out to the credits happen.
post #5 of 347
Sounds like she's not into you at all and is just being nice.

You had her drunk in your bed and also blew it.

Game over
post #6 of 347
Sounds like she wasn't ever into you and now she knows for sure. Ask out her friend.
post #7 of 347
Also, next time don't wait so fucking long to ask a girl out and it won't hurt that bad when this happens
post #8 of 347
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by cioni2k View Post
Sounds like she's not into you at all and is just being nice.

You had her drunk in your bed and also blew it.

Game over

Well, I was clearly not ready for it to advance this far but I dont know am I being too self-constrained here but I would like to expect some leeway from the opposition as well. Mind you, I wanted to play it safe since if I started mingling all over her and she would've backed off or something I dont know could I live with myself knowing that all my classmates knew what I had done.

I know what you are saying APK, I just dont know where I am myself. At times I feel like I am completely into her, at times I feel like meh. I dont know what to think anymore. What makes it hard for me is that I've never been in a relationship before, have not made out with anyone, have not had really friends for the last two years and counting so at this point it all seems so awkward and hard to understand.

I know I sound like a pussy here too, but if she does come with me to that party I mentioned on the weekend what should I do? If she doesn't, I'll take it for granted and move on but demand her to pay me back the drinks.
post #9 of 347
Quote:
Originally Posted by APK View Post
And if kwilk is saying "it's over," best believe it. This dude is what John Hughes modeled all of those eternally optimistic and persistent guys in his movies after who don't stop fighting until they overcome the odds and the fade out to the credits happen.

post #10 of 347
Welcome to FriendZone City. Population: You.
post #11 of 347
You snuggled up next to her after she passed out?
post #12 of 347
This is actually not a bad situation for you.

First thing is, find another girl to go to the party with you. Somebody she doesn't know is better. It could be just a friend or somebody you are interested in. BUt another girl, no guy friends on this.

Second, don't initiate too much with the drunk girl. You can say, "Hello, still wanna check out that party?" Two things will happen:

a)she says, "Yes". You pick her up..she sees you have another girl...natural competition ensues=you win.

b)she says "No, don't want to go to party"...you go with other girl..take a few good pics of two of you having a GREAT time (no affection needed in pics) and post them on Facebook. Drunk girl sees the pics, natural competition sets in= you win.
post #13 of 347
Quote:
Originally Posted by texas_jack View Post
Sounds like she wasn't ever into you and now she knows for sure.

Pretty sure the Justin Bieber poster over your bed was the tipping point.

Move on. There's nothing to see here.
post #14 of 347
I'm not about to give you a hard time about not making out with her when she was all drunk at your place. However, I think the episode reveals why you two aren't meant to be together for several reasons. I also wouldn't be surprised if she continued to feign interest at times in order to keep you interested. I suggest you keep it moving now before she makes you look bad.
post #15 of 347
I agree with others. Move on. If she wants to get more involved with you, she will let you know. If not, oh well. Trust me, college life is too short and there are too many hot girls to be playing games. And do you really need a female friend in college?
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