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How to deal with a pussy-whipped friend? - Page 2

post #16 of 58
There comes a time in every man's life where a woman will take priority over his bros.
post #17 of 58
Yeah, OP seems a bit jealous.
post #18 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flieger View Post
Op is in luv wiv hiz fwiend

+1
post #19 of 58
Thread Starter 
...
post #20 of 58
lots of men go through that one relationship in their life that plays out exactly like this. it's usually the first big in-love relationship and 99/100 it will fail after college. when it does, be his bro and be there for him because he will need you. i guarantee you that he will treat his next big relationshp very differently. i personally think it's a rite of passage for most men unless you were a born womanizer and even those dudes usually fall marlon brandon streetcar named desire in love once too.
post #21 of 58
Dickwhip him so that he knows the difference.
post #22 of 58
sounds like your friend likes his gf and its a pretty serious relationship. maybe you should stay out of their business and stop deciding whats 'best' for him. if you're really his friend you wouldn't be judging him like a douche.
post #23 of 58
also you are definitely gaybones for your friend. you've clearly thought about how attractive he is and how he attracts men - wishful thinking on your part bro.
post #24 of 58
ok im actually going to give you a serious reply (although your posts rings all kind of alarm bells) couple points: 1. you never know the details of someone elses relationship. the only person who does is your friend and his gf - it doesn't matter what you've heard from your friend, what you've seen, etc, you don't know what happens behind closed doors. 2. everyone makes certain deals in relationships. its not up to you to determine in your friend and his gf fall into your neat box of what you think a good relationship is. what matters is if your friend is happy and is his gf is happy, not if you think they spend too much time together or they talk too much. and honestly, preferring to spend time with someone you're in a serious relationship with instead of friends isn't abnormal, it's part of being in a serious relationship 3. what do you want out of this thread? do you want us all to go 'yea bro your bro needs to GROW SOME BALLS AND COCKSLAP THAT HO'? are you gonna print that out and show it to your friend? the best way to end your friendship is to meddle in his relationship. its none of your business. 4. wtf is your weird obsession with your friends career options? if you're his friend you should encourage him to do what makes him happy.
post #25 of 58
great cliffnotes OP..
post #26 of 58
call him, meet him in your favorite restaurant, tell him in your most honest and heartfelt way how you really feel about him, kiss him passionately on the lips, and take him back to your apartment.
post #27 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by hooya2 View Post
sever all ties

x2. Nothing OP does will change his friend's mind. And eventually the friend will break up and come crying back for help, at which point he won't be any fun to hang out with.

Your friend is dead. Find a new friend.
post #28 of 58
Can't believe no one has said it yet: Mind your own business.
post #29 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenFrog View Post
My friend is 100% whipped, period. I would understand if he were at the beginning stages of a relationship, but he's been dating this girl (whom I'm also friends with, but obviously not to the extent that I am with my friend) for over 2 years. It's like he's perpetually stuck in the honey-moon period.
Such is the way it gooes nowadays...
post #30 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reevolving View Post
Can't believe no one has said it yet: Mind your own business.

A whole bunch of people said it. Maybe not in those words, but plenty of people said to leave him alone.

Honestly, OP, I'm slightly torn. Half of me does agree that this guy has cast his lot, and that's his decision to make. But you do sound like you genuinely have this guy's interests at heart, and it's true he probably shouldn't just be trashing his career options at this point in his life. Here's what I think you need to do:

It's time to have a serious conversation with the guy, and be totally honest. Tread lightly on the GF - don't mention the word whipped, don't make this about her. The minute he perceives this as being about you vs. her it's over. He'll stop listening and you'll become the asshole forever. But make it about his career and prospects moving forwards. Tell him you've been moved to say something because you do fear for his career given that others have offers in place and he's turning everything down. Let him know you're supportive of the relationship but maybe lightly broach the topic that he might have to settle for something geographically ugly in the short-term. Let him know it's in both of their interests, and the interests of the relationship, that he have a strong foundation of his own. Be firm, be honest, but leave the girl out of it as much as possible, and leave yourself out of it as much as possible (e.g. the irritation you feel at being a 2nd option). Tell him you're supportive of whatever he does, no matter what, and that you'll always have his back no matter how things turn out.

Be prepared to lose this guy as a friend forever. And after the convo, if he continues in similar behavior, back out completely and immediately. Keep a very long, safe distance. Have other plans when he wants to hang out. You will have said your piece, and it's a one-shot deal.

Other than that, it's time to let him go. If he suddenly comes to, career-wise, you'll have done him a great service as a friend. He won't come to immediately on the being whipped. But that's OK - just time to find a new friend, and it's not so bad being whipped if you're happy and you've got your career taken care of.

Good luck.
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