or Connect
Styleforum › Forums › General › General Chat › I have an important question to ask about you
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I have an important question to ask about you - Page 2

post #16 of 43
Quote:
I think that "being somebody" at least to me, is being yourself.

To be somebody, all you have to is be yourself? Isn`t that too easy? Everyone is being themself.

So to be no one is like acting like another person or not being yourself?

Quote:
I really don't get this whole "You're nobody till somebody (else) loves you" thing. I mean, seriously. This is 2006. That shit is some weird codependant psychological dinosaur from the 50's that refuses to die

My view is not that you are nobody until someone else loves you. My view is just that your life is not complete until you share it with someone else.

Yes this is 2006, but I do not see any difference in the most important things in ones life from the 50s or thousands of years ago.
post #17 of 43
I really find the idea that life can ever be "complete" disturbing at best and more likely repugnant.
post #18 of 43
I'm looking at the question and it doesn't ask if you'd rather be no one with no one or someone with someone...it's very clear.

How can I not be the best I can be just to have someone else to share my misery? Would I be letting that someone else down if I'm not really being myself or if I'm not really being "someone?" I see this poll as a question of personal integrity and satisfaction over loneliness. Why is being with someone everything?

I see no way I could ever be objective on this topic as I prefer the company of my solitude (not to say I'm without a fair amount of friends) and due to my Shakespearian philosophy of "This above all: To thine own self be true."

Plus, people suck in general.
post #19 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragon
Isn`t that too easy? Everyone is being themself.

Oh, are they now?

Quote:
So to be no one is like acting like another person or not being yourself?

What is "fitting in" and why is it so important?


Quote:
My view is not that you are nobody until someone else loves you. My view is just that your life is not complete until you share it with someone else.

Yes this is 2006, but I do not see any difference in the most important things in ones life from the 50s or thousands of years ago.

Do you think that sharing your life with others automatically neccessitates love? Or can you share your life with those who are just 'friends'?

Seeing as the whole point of this question was romantically themed, which is what I've been fighting against, I still don't think that to be successful, you need to be in love, loved by, or with, a significant other. I just don't think romantic love is essential to personal success at all. Of course, all you people who've been raised to believe in it are going to be biased the other way. But think about it this way... over half the people in this country who promise to love, honor, cherish, and etc. one another until DEATH DO YOU PART, don't stay together. If over half the people who fall in love fail to stay that way... why is it so important? Its an overwhelming chemical and emotional ride, sure, but since when has it been a good idea to let one of those control your fate?

I guess I'm just a cynic.
post #20 of 43
Quote:
I just don't think romantic love is essential to personal success at all.

Right, I understand your position that love or a significant other is not necessary to be successful in life. I still don`t understand your version of a successful life though.

Quote:
But think about it this way... over half the people in this country who promise to love, honor, cherish, and etc. one another until DEATH DO YOU PART, don't stay together. If over half the people who fall in love fail to stay that way... why is it so important?

I guess success isn`t so easy.
post #21 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragon
Right, I understand your position that love or a significant other is not necessary to be successful in life. I still don`t understand your version of a successful life though.

Why not? Its a pretty easy concept to wrap your head around. I don't know how much better I can say it than just "be yourself". How about, "Don't give a shit what everyone else thinks and do your own thing"? How about "Persue your goals and ideals without regard for any dissenting opinons"?

If you can figure out a way to live your life the way you want to live it, that is success.

Quote:
I guess success isn`t so easy.

No, its not. Its even less easy when people put all sorts of fallacious restrictions on themselves, like "you have to get married" or you have to dress well to be a success... or whatever it might be.
post #22 of 43
Quote:
]Why not? Its a pretty easy concept to wrap your head around. I don't know how much better I can say it than just "be yourself". How about, "Don't give a shit what everyone else thinks and do your own thing"? How about "Persue your goals and ideals without regard for any dissenting opinons"?

Well, I guess I am a successful person
post #23 of 43
Thread Starter 
Hey guys-

I wasn't only talking about having a girl or to be married. I guess you think of me as Mr. romantic

If you have no one..I guess you couldn't post here either and this place would be very quiet. How could we help each other than?


-Danny Wilson
post #24 of 43
I think it's fairly clear that people are social animals and need other people around in some context.

However, the question, as asked, seems more relevant when interpreted to discuss emphasis on career or relationships.
post #25 of 43
Thread Starter 
Hey guys-

Ive found out something.. Im not so tall..as I like to think I am but i'll get by with a little help from my friends



-Danny Wilson
post #26 of 43
No offense to wilson bro, but I frankly hate these sorts of insipid falsely boolean Vogue-type questions. Kind of like "Do you live to work, or work to live." I still remember being asked that on a first date once. My response was "that's such a bullshit question."
No second date. Oh well.
To the extent there's a request for actual advice buried in there, I'll say this:
If you don't feel like you can be your own person - be "somebody" - within whatever relationship you're in, that's probably a f'd-up unhealthy relationship. And, to look at it from a different angle, unless you feel at least a certain measure of self-sufficiency it's hard to see how you can expect to end up with "somebody" who's worth being with.
post #27 of 43
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lawyerdad
No offense to wilson bro, but I frankly hate these sorts of insipid falsely boolean Vogue-type questions. Kind of like "Do you live to work, or work to live." I still remember being asked that on a first date once. My response was "that's such a bullshit question."
No second date. Oh well.
To the extent there's a request for actual advice buried in there, I'll say this:
If you don't feel like you can be your own person - be "somebody" - within whatever relationship you're in, that's probably a f'd-up unhealthy relationship. And, to look at it from a different angle, unless you feel at least a certain measure of self-sufficiency it's hard to see how you can expect to end up with "somebody" who's worth being with.


Hey Lawyerdad-

I thought you were a married guy..so I think your wife must be happy that you didnt have a second date

I agree with your advice but really I wanted to see how other people here felt about the importance of friendship.



-Danny Wilson
post #28 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by wilson brother
Hey guys-

I wasn't only talking about having a girl or to be married. I guess you think of me as Mr. romantic


-Danny Wilson
Well dude, if you're conception of California isn't romanticized, then I don't know what it.
post #29 of 43
When I look at someone who's successful professionally, but goes home to an empty apartment, i think to myself: "loser."

Personally though, I don't really see why it has to be a choice between the two. My fiance is the world to me, but, I still have high aspirations in my professional life and work hard to achieve them.
post #30 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragon
Without someone you are no one anyway

+six dozen
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: General Chat
Styleforum › Forums › General › General Chat › I have an important question to ask about you