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most polite way to turn down a wedding invitation? - Page 2

post #16 of 27
3/7/11 at 11:44am
Quote:
Originally Posted by West24 View Post
i can see how this can be a sticky situation especially if they are both friends. in matts case he was sorta lucky its his brother, noone can question him on that. i wouldnt want to be in that situation picking over 2 friends.

Just say you had alreay confirmed with first friend before 2nd friend told u about his
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post #17 of 27
3/7/11 at 1:19pm
I just got married 5 months ago. The worst thing ever was someone who cancelled last minute. So it would nice to tell your friend as soon as possible. If your really apologetic and send a generous gift (just money) you'll still get major brownie points.
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post #18 of 27
3/7/11 at 6:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by West24 View Post
i can see how this can be a sticky situation especially if they are both friends. in matts case he was sorta lucky its his brother, noone can question him on that. i wouldnt want to be in that situation picking over 2 friends.

why would this be sticky if the OP calls NOW and tells the groom/bride to be that he already committed to another event before he rcd the "save the date" card...
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post #19 of 27
3/7/11 at 7:09pm
to pile on, tell him now.

a lot of us are limited in the number of people that we can invite; it doesn't matter how many people actually come at this point, it matters how many you invite in the initial round. Some people also do rounds of invitations if they have more friends than they can afford or can fit into a place, so your telling him up front, and before the invitations go out, can actually be a much better thing than waiting for the invitation and RSVP'ing that you cannot attend.
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post #20 of 27
3/7/11 at 7:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ter1413 View Post
why would this be sticky if the OP calls NOW and tells the groom/bride to be that he already committed to another event before he rcd the "save the date" card...

because if its in a circle of friends etc, or they know eachother and are all friends it could be an annoying situation.
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post #21 of 27
3/7/11 at 9:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by West24 View Post
because if its in a circle of friends etc, or they know eachother and are all friends it could be an annoying situation.

by saying that you have already committed to another event/wedding? should have sent out that "save da date" card earlier...or verbally told the OP.
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post #22 of 27
3/8/11 at 8:14pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by West24 View Post
i can see how this can be a sticky situation especially if they are both friends. in matts case he was sorta lucky its his brother, noone can question him on that. i wouldnt want to be in that situation picking over 2 friends.

This is exactly the situation. Why does everyone love May 28th

Quote:
Originally Posted by juuceman View Post
to pile on, tell him now.

a lot of us are limited in the number of people that we can invite; it doesn't matter how many people actually come at this point, it matters how many you invite in the initial round. Some people also do rounds of invitations if they have more friends than they can afford or can fit into a place, so your telling him up front, and before the invitations go out, can actually be a much better thing than waiting for the invitation and RSVP'ing that you cannot attend.

This is good info that I had not considered. Thank you.
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post #23 of 27
3/9/11 at 12:28pm
Just say no.
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post #24 of 27
3/9/11 at 6:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by West24 View Post
because if its in a circle of friends etc, or they know eachother and are all friends it could be an annoying situation.

If they are all in a circle of friends then they shouldn't have had weddings on the same day, or if they did then they have to expect people to choose. Seems like if the couples are friends then there is some weird rivalry going on that puts everyone in an awkward situation, which seems unlikely.
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post #25 of 27
3/9/11 at 6:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyquik View Post
I have two upcoming weddings on the same day, and have been sent 'Save the dates' for both. I need to turn down one of them, and I already know which one. What's the best way to do that? Before formal invites come out? After? In a written letter? Etc. I've never had this problem before


_██_
(ಠ_ృ) riveting tale, chap.
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post #26 of 27
3/9/11 at 9:27pm
Send a letter telling of your true feelings for them. Explain that you fear you will object to the wedding if you are there. Tell them undying love can not be lost in just a matter of weeks for a life time of agony you will feel if you have to see them get married.

This may lose you a friend, but it'd be effective.
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post #27 of 27
3/9/11 at 9:36pm
i would just kindly tell them that the odds are one of the two marriages on that day will end in divorce and you are leaning towards theirs not working out. then politely say you don't have time to attend meaningless events and spend money on gifts that will go to waste in a bitter divorce
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