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most polite way to turn down a wedding invitation?

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
I have two upcoming weddings on the same day, and have been sent 'Save the dates' for both. I need to turn down one of them, and I already know which one. What's the best way to do that? Before formal invites come out? After? In a written letter? Etc. I've never had this problem before
post #2 of 27
Uh, call and say you can't make it.
post #3 of 27
Or *once* you get a wedding invite that has an rsvp attached, RSVP.
post #4 of 27
one of my best friends from home got married on the same day as my brother. I called him and said "dude, there are like four people in this city for whom i would fly back to be a part of their weddings, and two of them were dumb enough to choose the same day!" Sent my apologies and went and saw them the night before with a gift and my best wishes. I think I handled it well.
post #5 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt View Post
one of my best friends from home got married on the same day as my brother. I called him and said "dude, there are like four people in this city for whom i would fly back to be a part of their weddings, and two of them were dumb enough to choose the same day!" Sent my apologies and went and saw them the night before with a gift and my best wishes. I think I handled it well.

+1

Being genuinely sorry you can't make it to their wedding and giving them a nice gift is the best thing to do.
post #6 of 27
Classy


Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt View Post
one of my best friends from home got married on the same day as my brother. I called him and said "dude, there are like four people in this city for whom i would fly back to be a part of their weddings, and two of them were dumb enough to choose the same day!" Sent my apologies and went and saw them the night before with a gift and my best wishes. I think I handled it well.
post #7 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt View Post
one of my best friends from home got married on the same day as my brother. I called him and said "dude, there are like four people in this city for whom i would fly back to be a part of their weddings, and two of them were dumb enough to choose the same day!" Sent my apologies and went and saw them the night before with a gift and my best wishes. I think I handled it well.

I like!
post #8 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Krish the Fish View Post
Or *once* you get a wedding invite that has an rsvp attached, RSVP.

That seems a bit impersonal.
post #9 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyquik View Post
That seems a bit impersonal.

then call and say that you can't make it...
post #10 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt View Post
one of my best friends from home got married on the same day as my brother. I called him and said "dude, there are like four people in this city for whom i would fly back to be a part of their weddings, and two of them were dumb enough to choose the same day!" Sent my apologies and went and saw them the night before with a gift and my best wishes. I think I handled it well.

LOL! But a nice gesture to see them the night before.
post #11 of 27
Just explain your reason and don't go, make the correct decision according to your consciousness. It's not really that tough now, come on.
post #12 of 27
Call and tell them now. That way they can invite someone else....
post #13 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by ter1413 View Post
Call and tell them now. That way they can invite someone else....
This. Let them know right away that you can't make it. I did this last week for a wedding occurring in May.
post #14 of 27
Call and tell them you got invited to another wedding on the same day and already told the other person you would attend their wedding.
post #15 of 27
i can see how this can be a sticky situation especially if they are both friends. in matts case he was sorta lucky its his brother, noone can question him on that. i wouldnt want to be in that situation picking over 2 friends.
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