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The meaning of RSVP - Page 4

post #46 of 72
Interesting post. I think a lot of people do not realize that RSVP means to also reply when not planning to attend. But this is irrelevant in my mind. To be invited to an event with RSVP and to show up after not contacting the host is extremely bad manners. I would be compelled to kindly explain to these guests how happy I am to see them but unfortunately I did not receive an RSVP from them for this event and therefore must regrettably ask that they leave.
post #47 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by ron
I would be compelled to kindly explain to these guests how happy I am to see them but unfortunately I did not receive an RSVP from them for this event and therefore must regrettably ask that they leave.

This seems an incredibly unlikely scenario for most people (no matter how annoyed we might be by our guest's thoughtlessness). Much better would be to wait for that person to have a party and then just show up without RSVPing.
post #48 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by ron
Interesting post. I think a lot of people do not realize that RSVP means to also reply when not planning to attend. But this is irrelevant in my mind. To be invited to an event with RSVP and to show up after not contacting the host is extremely bad manners. I would be compelled to kindly explain to these guests how happy I am to see them but unfortunately I did not receive an RSVP from them for this event and therefore must regrettably ask that they leave.

Wow, I think that would more or less obviate them ever coming to an event that you'll host again. This may eventually eliminate your RSVP issue, no guests = no need to RSVP.

Also, RSVP doesn't mean to reply if you don't want to attend, as was pointed out earlier, it literally means, reply, if you want. If you want to make it perfectly clear, and you're sending out formal invitations, then include a SASE and a piece of paper with check boxes that say (yes i will be coming, no i won't be coming) and you'll have much more clarity (although potentially no more responses heh)
post #49 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by drizzt3117
Wow, I think that would more or less obviate them ever coming to an event that you'll host again. This may eventually eliminate your RSVP issue, no guests = no need to RSVP.

Also, RSVP doesn't mean to reply if you don't want to attend, as was pointed out earlier, it literally means, reply, if you want. If you want to make it perfectly clear, and you're sending out formal invitations, then include a SASE and a piece of paper with check boxes that say (yes i will be coming, no i won't be coming) and you'll have much more clarity (although potentially no more responses heh)

Regardless of the literal interpretation, my understanding of RSVP has always been to inform your host whether or not you will be attending.
post #50 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by drizzt3117
Wow, I think that would more or less obviate them ever coming to an event that you'll host again. This may eventually eliminate your RSVP issue, no guests = no need to RSVP. Also, RSVP doesn't mean to reply if you don't want to attend, as was pointed out earlier, it literally means, reply, if you want. If you want to make it perfectly clear, and you're sending out formal invitations, then include a SASE and a piece of paper with check boxes that say (yes i will be coming, no i won't be coming) and you'll have much more clarity (although potentially no more responses heh)
Actually, this is what it means (according to many people): If R.S.V.P. is written on an invitation it means the invited guest must tell the host whether or not they plan to attend the party. It does not mean to respond only if you're coming, and it does not mean respond only if you're not coming (the expression "regrets only" is reserved for that instance). It means the host needs a definite head count for the planned event, and needs it by the date specified on the invitation. If you'd like to read the entire article: http://entertaining.about.com/cs/eti.../tip122500.htm
post #51 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBZ
Regardless of the literal interpretation, my understanding of RSVP has always been to inform your host whether or not you will be attending.
Same here. I think it is unlikely that the majority of people - at least in America - who do not respond to an RSVP request have been misled by an overly-literal misreading of the the French phrase for which RSVP is an abbreviation.
post #52 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBZ
This seems an incredibly unlikely scenario for most people (no matter how annoyed we might be by our guest's thoughtlessness). Much better would be to wait for that person to have a party and then just show up without RSVPing.
I agree it would be harsh. I did say compelled. I would most likely make sure they were aware of my surprise at seeing them since they did not RSVP.
post #53 of 72
[arrgh -- see below]
post #54 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by lawyerdad
Same here. I think it is unlikely that the majority of people - at least in America - who do not respond to an RSVP request have been misled by an overly-literal misreading of the the French phrase for which RSVP is an abbreviation.

It never occurred to me that people would interpret "s'il vous plait" as anything other than "please". I would have thought that most people know enough casual French to know better than to interpret it as "if you want".
post #55 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by ron
Actually, this is what it means (according to many people):

If R.S.V.P. is written on an invitation it means the invited guest must tell the host whether or not they plan to attend the party. It does not mean to respond only if you're coming, and it does not mean respond only if you're not coming (the expression "regrets only" is reserved for that instance). It means the host needs a definite head count for the planned event, and needs it by the date specified on the invitation.

If you'd like to read the entire article: http://entertaining.about.com/cs/eti.../tip122500.htm

My response had two parts, the first discussing the literal translation of RSVP, and the second proposing possible strategies for having better success at obtaining RSVPs.

I agree that people probably aren't misintrepreting the phrase and not responding, but as others have mentioned, if you want people to do something, it makes sense to make it perfectly clear, at least IMO.
post #56 of 72
All this confusion over what RSVP actually means, on whether to use the literal or the casual translation, would be eliminated if we just wrote our invitations in American.
post #57 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by odoreater
Not to press the issue, but he did say "I hate waste" and he did talk about pouring 5/6 of it down the drain.

Anyway, yeah, spilling is probably a concern, so what I would say is, if you're only going to pour half a cup, at least check in every now and then and ask if anyone wants some more (which I'm sure many people do, but then again, many people do not).

And ld, kids don't like organic oj, they like SODA


kids in my house get little juice boxes. no soda for kids in my house, and if they don't finish the damn box they better not expect to get anymore next time they visit- there are kids in Africa who would kill for a damn juice box.
post #58 of 72
Um, I'm like, having a party?
You coming?
Call my cell. K?
post #59 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter
kids in my house get little juice boxes. no soda for kids in my house, and if they don't finish the damn box they better not expect to get anymore next time they visit- there are kids in Africa who would kill for a damn juice box.

Why's everyone assuming I'm talking about 6 year olds? What I said was happening right through high school. I think high schoolers can handle soda - heck, I think they can even handle a full cup of soda.



EDIT: By the way, I nominate this thread as one of the most absurd conversations we've ever had on styleforum.
post #60 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by odoreater
By the way, I nominate this thread as one of the most absurd conversations we've ever had on styleforum.

Doesn't top this gem:

http://www.styleforum.net/showthread...=cleaning+lady

Back to the original topic: This semantic dispute can be avoided by saying, "The courtesy of a response is appreciated by <DATE>."
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