Originally Posted by mkarim
Many seem to be attracted to a fixer-upper, whom they can "save". Also, many women's idea of a "good man" is quite strange. That's a whole new threak!
it's a tad bit more complicated than that. I know WHY they do it, but it still doesn't make it smart. Here is the woman's delimia, especially in todays society. Basically, there are certain traits, in a man that a woman loves. Dominant, self confident, sexual, etc.. Women well tell you "oh I hate an arrogant man" please, women eat that shit up. women loves a man who knows he a catch. Not necessarily in him saying it, but by his actions. Dont' sit on the damn phone with women all the time, have a lie outside of woman, let a woman know by your actions that look, I can take it or leave it so you better be on your best behavior. This is what is appealing to the fixer uper type guy. He has these traits. The problem is, the men she SHOULD be dating, dont' have these qualities. for the most part. Most men beg, whine, cry, follow, worship, that's not sexy to women. There is a good reason for this too. Most people ahve two choices. Party or be successful. Really smart, successful people, sacrifice alot when it comes to socializing, and aren't as caught up as their peers. I or instance, basically spent my late teens and half my twenties, locked in an office. My dad is my saving grace when it comes to women if not for him i'd be clueless. Instead of fixing up the guy that has potential to give her the lifestyle she wants, she chose to fix up the guy who has the traits she likes in a man, simply becuase she think he's sexier. Basically, when a woman is in her early 20's, instead of looking where she should look for a man, if she is looking for a man with a future, she looks at parties, through friends, online, at clubs, at the mall, wherver. The men she wants to be married to when she's 35, are studying and working their ass off at 25, not any of those places, but this is the last place she is going to look. Very rare is it a woman that understands this concept. I never had a problem actually attracting women, my problem was in my business, I had a problem keeping them becuase, I would not give them time, etc al, I was "no fun". I worked all the time, and made no bones about t hem not being my number one priority. That and when I was really in the mist of rujning my business I put on a tad bit of weight, simply becuase of living so reclusely. AS my dad always told me, women will come and go, there is no going out of business sale on @$%^@ And while digging deeper once you start to really understand the dynamics of it all.. I don't blame women for being more attracted to guys who are not passive, etc. Say you have a woman here, she's smoking hot. 24 years old, coke bottle body, college grad, decent job. She has 2 guys that she knows. One guy, basically is like look, you are fine as hell and I want to have sex with you, alot lol. But with that said, you are going to have to show me what you can do for me to settle down with me, you being hot isn't enough. You take another guy, the "good guy" if you will, he will sit on the phone and talk the the girl all night long (listen to her talk about how much of a jerk the other guy is), take her to te movies while the other guy refuses to pay for dates for a girl he isn't dating, take her out to eat, the whole grin. you call that a good guy, in reality, they both want the same thing. he might not come out and say it, that's becuase he's too scared to say it, that he wants to bend her over the nearest table and get busy lol. The thing is, she knows this, she's not stupid, but by not being honest about how he feels, he's come off as non sexual and non sexual guys, don't get sex. you can be, dominant, without being broke or a jerk or a "bad boy". That's why I am pretty successful, I'm actually quite a nice guy, I can talk to anyone, I get along with everyone, I'm not an asshole or a jerk, but I make no bones about what I want, and I don't take shit either. You can hold a woman to certain standards, and be a cool dude at the same time and that's how you as the sheen would say "win" Oh and don't even get me freaking started on women inside my race (I'm black) not as a collective hole but way more times then not, man, wow. I find all women attractive, at least all races... man, black women, just are down right impossible. You have to somehow, be successful yet at the same time, be hood enough to kick it with the fellas. Being educated/not stupid is somewhat frowned upon, you don't know how many time's I've heard "you think you are just too damn smart don't you" or something along those lines, but yet, you need to drive a luxury car at the same time lol. I've actually had girls turn me down becuase I was not "black enough".. and I'm not talking about hood rats either, then, wonder when they are in their 30's they don't have a man.