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Where Have the Good Men Gone - Page 7

post #91 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reggs View Post
Ever since the OP article was posted, there has been a wild fire of responding articles in the news. It's really struck a nerve.
Exactly as the writer intended.
post #92 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reggs View Post
Ever since the OP article was posted, there has been a wild fire of responding articles in the news. It's really struck a nerve.

That's understating the case.
post #93 of 166
Let me lay down to you the way of hte world. Think of it, as a , what the hell is that thing you get on as a kid, oh a see saw. When you are a 20 year old guy, you are at the very top of that see saw and the woman is at the bottom. A 20 year old woman that is good looking has the world by the balls. Men want her, she has her choice of men. In the grand scheme of things, this is all genetic, a woman is suppose to use this time to find a good man, as this is her peak time. But women, blow off the men that they should not be blowing off in favor for the men that they should not be hooking up with, in order to get cheap thrills or just stupid decisions. Next thing you know, a woamn wakes up one morning and she's 29 years old and while, sitll attractive, she finds out a harsh reality. she is now, competing with 20 year olds, for the same men. The same men that would fawn at the thought of her, she's not an option, and probably not even a top one. Instead of facing personal responsibility, they become scornful. I have seen it time and time again. My own mother, bless her heart, is extremely intelligent, 3 degrees, makes real good money, over 100k, and from what I have been told is pretty good looking, but by the time she realized my dad, lol, was never going to keep his dick in his pants, nothing he ever even attempted to try to do, she was 31 with a child and single, competing with 20 year old childless women. she did not get remarrried into the week after I turned 21 and was well out the house. the good men are there, women just don't pay them any attention. Take myself, I'm not perfect, but I'm good looking, i'm 27, I make well into 6 figures from a business I started 5 years ago, no debt (At all), no kids, no ex, i stay in shape, I can dress, I read, I play the piano and violin, I like art, I love history. But you know what, I'm the same guy in all, that I was 4 years ago, and 4 years ago, I was not making the money I am now, I was in debt, but I was the same person, but women didn't bother to want to stick around to find out the type of person I was, I remember one girl actually broke up with me to date an alcoholic that worked at i hop. I lost very little sleep over it, I knew where I was going. Unlike some however, I was willing to put in the time, the hard work and make scarifies, some things that women just did not nor did not want to understand. Their loss. I could have been "had" at a time for a very low premium lol. There was one girl in particular I was head over heels for, she just "didn't feel it", now she always calls me and wants to go out and shit lol. yeah okay. But now, that I am young, and i have the world by the balls, why SHOULD I settle down, becuase you say I should lol? Women trying to shame men into being committed when they have no one to blame but themselves. There is a girl that honestly I kinda liked. I could have seen myself settling down with her. While I have dated better looking women, she wasn't ugly at all and we clicked. I got her and she got me. We dated for a while in a LTR. I live in little rock, she lives in Lexington KY. I would fly up to see her every month and she told me, looks you need to move here or I'm breaking up with you. I told her look, I plan to move there, (and I did), but you are going to have to be patient because I run a business, I just can't up and leave. She's 2 years older than me by the way, 29, and single. She would tell me I was "all talk" and was "tired of waiting on me to do something" She did break up with me, we still talk and she makes it known she would like to get back with me, I've more than moved on, she had her chance. Had she stuck it out for another 6 months. women are their own worst enemies and right now I'm having the time of my life. The problem is, good men aren't born, they are made. And women today, have no patience to wait for a good man to become a good man. That, is the real problem. They want quick fixes or finished products, but by the time a man is a finished product, he can usually do better than you. Had crystal (the 29 year old) waited I'd be living in lexington in the new house I bought, with a ring on her finger, and would have been happy doing so. I'm not saying I'm never going to settle down but it's going to take a HELL of a woman to get me to not be single.
post #94 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by christinedaae View Post

The good men are there, women just don't pay them any attention.......

....I could have been "had" at a time for a very low premium lol. There was one girl in particular I was head over heels for, she just "didn't feel it", now she always calls me and wants to go out and shit lol. yeah okay.


I think you nailed it. I am stuck in the friend zone with a few women I know, that honestly I would be really good relationship/husband material if it weren't for that massive relationship blind spot they hold onto.

I'm at a point I just smile, shrug my shoulders and just keep living. It sounds terribly Buddhist of me but I don't hold onto the anger and bitterness with this whole situation. Takes up way too much personal energy and I have a busy enough life as it is.
post #95 of 166
I don't do alot of women friends, these women liked me, but, I scarified alot of things for my business. I did not go out alot, I worked my ass off, 70 - 80 hour weeks all the time. Women don't like that. I did not drive a new flashy car, i put the money into my business. I remember crystal in particular, she's into horses like I am, I talked about buying a broodmare, even came close to doing it, but i decided I best wait, and put the money in my business. she didn't like that at all, she wanted her damn horse. In 10 years I will be able to buy a fucking stable of horses, had she just been freaking patient most 22-25 year old women, dont' want to hear this crap. You don't know how many times I was told to "live a little" or "lighten up" or "have some fun". OH i'm having fun now. Women, from my experience, have unrealistic expectations of life. They want to be able to have fun and kick it, have someone daring and likes to party, yet still want a "good", "financially secure" man, not realizing that utnil they are in their 30's you more times than not, can't have both, and by then, it's too late, they have chosen wrong, time and time again. To get you a "good man" you are going to have to give up some stuff for the greater good. Just like the men who become good men, had to give up somethings to achieve what they want to do. you think i don't like drinking and partying? No I just like being successful more. Then when you do get in a position where you are catch worthy, most women price themselves out the market. I went to hawaii a month ago, this girl I am somewhat seeing, got pissy that I didn't' offer to take her with me. Mind you, I have been somewhat seeing her for 2 months. Because we have had sex for 2 months you think you have earned the right to fly for free and live it up off my dime on an all expense paid trip to hawaii lol? beh bye.
post #96 of 166
christinedaae, You're further ahead than most people your age and it sounds like the women in your world are still mentally teenagers regardless of the fact chronologically they are in their late 20s. It gets a little more depressing when in my case you see the same kind of women in their late thirties/early forties after the first sometimes second divorce. One thing got drilled into my head a long time ago, life/the cosmos/ the higher being you choose to worship will send you lessons, first you have to figure out what they are and learn from them. Ignore said lessons, you are doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again until you finally get it. Of course there will be more lessons. Most men and women out there are too thick to figure this out. If you are really smart, you learn from other people's relationship f**k ups as well as your own. This whole issue reminds of me the Cave analogy from Plato's Republic and that comes from the stew of pop culture (movies, magazines, how to books, TV shows), peer pressure (don't underestimate) and cultural/family expecations we have been marinating for the past couple of decades. I think the damage has been done from the Boomers on down to the Millenials and I think both men and women have to grow up if we want to get out of this relationship mess we're in. That being said I have a couple of dates this week, maybe there's a happy ending after all...
post #97 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by christinedaae View Post
Let me lay down to you the way of hte world.

Think of it, as a , what the hell is that thing you get on as a kid, oh a see saw. When you are a 20 year old guy, you are at the very top of that see saw and the woman is at the bottom. A 20 year old woman that is good looking has the world by the balls. Men want her, she has her choice of men.

In the grand scheme of things, this is all genetic, a woman is suppose to use this time to find a good man, as this is her peak time. But women, blow off the men that they should not be blowing off in favor for the men that they should not be hooking up with, in order to get cheap thrills or just stupid decisions.

Next thing you know, a woamn wakes up one morning and she's 29 years old and while, sitll attractive, she finds out a harsh reality. she is now, competing with 20 year olds, for the same men. The same men that would fawn at the thought of her, she's not an option, and probably not even a top one. Instead of facing personal responsibility, they become scornful.


I have seen it time and time again. My own mother, bless her heart, is extremely intelligent, 3 degrees, makes real good money, over 100k, and from what I have been told is pretty good looking, but by the time she realized my dad, lol, was never going to keep his dick in his pants, nothing he ever even attempted to try to do, she was 31 with a child and single, competing with 20 year old childless women. she did not get remarrried into the week after I turned 21 and was well out the house.

the good men are there, women just don't pay them any attention. Take myself, I'm not perfect, but I'm good looking, i'm 27, I make well into 6 figures from a business I started 5 years ago, no debt (At all), no kids, no ex, i stay in shape, I can dress, I read, I play the piano and violin, I like art, I love history. But you know what, I'm the same guy in all, that I was 4 years ago, and 4 years ago, I was not making the money I am now, I was in debt, but I was the same person, but women didn't bother to want to stick around to find out the type of person I was, I remember one girl actually broke up with me to date an alcoholic that worked at i hop. I lost very little sleep over it, I knew where I was going. Unlike some however, I was willing to put in the time, the hard work and make scarifies, some things that women just did not nor did not want to understand. Their loss. I could have been "had" at a time for a very low premium lol. There was one girl in particular I was head over heels for, she just "didn't feel it", now she always calls me and wants to go out and shit lol. yeah okay.

But now, that I am young, and i have the world by the balls, why SHOULD I settle down, becuase you say I should lol? Women trying to shame men into being committed when they have no one to blame but themselves.


There is a girl that honestly I kinda liked. I could have seen myself settling down with her. While I have dated better looking women, she wasn't ugly at all and we clicked. I got her and she got me. We dated for a while in a LTR. I live in little rock, she lives in Lexington KY. I would fly up to see her every month and she told me, looks you need to move here or I'm breaking up with you. I told her look, I plan to move there, (and I did), but you are going to have to be patient because I run a business, I just can't up and leave. She's 2 years older than me by the way, 29, and single. She would tell me I was "all talk" and was "tired of waiting on me to do something" She did break up with me, we still talk and she makes it known she would like to get back with me, I've more than moved on, she had her chance. Had she stuck it out for another 6 months.

women are their own worst enemies and right now I'm having the time of my life.


The problem is, good men aren't born, they are made. And women today, have no patience to wait for a good man to become a good man. That, is the real problem. They want quick fixes or finished products, but by the time a man is a finished product, he can usually do better than you. Had crystal (the 29 year old) waited I'd be living in lexington in the new house I bought, with a ring on her finger, and would have been happy doing so.

I'm not saying I'm never going to settle down but it's going to take a HELL of a woman to get me to not be single.

This is the most truthful, intelligent and to-the-point post I've read in a long time. Its pretty much the story of my life! I see so many guys who give up their goals and ambitions just to become the types of guys women look for. In essence they are initially quite good, intelligent, educated etc but end up becoming the "bad boys" and the fixer-uppers that women run after. Sad.

Thanks for posting.
post #98 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill Smith View Post
She was, I saw the photos on her FB wall. Hitting the reply button really is not hard to send at the very least a polite rejection (or even a lame one for that matter) as opposed to getting a mutual friend to do your dirty work, that just loses my respect.

+1

How hard is it to send a text or reply to a text in a timely fashion? People carry their phones everywhere and almost anyone with a decent job has a smartphone. It literally takes 30 seconds.
post #99 of 166
Maybe she didn't have a good plan?
post #100 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neo_Version 7 View Post
Maybe she didn't have a good plan?

I don't text much so I didn't bother with one of those big plans that includes free texting. A text costs me 5 cents.
post #101 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by GQgeek View Post
I don't text much so I didn't bother with one of those big plans that includes free texting. A text costs me 5 cents.
Sheeeeit. A text costs me 20c extra.
post #102 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by christinedaae View Post
The problem is, good men aren't born, they are made. And women today, have no patience to wait for a good man to become a good man. That, is the real problem. They want quick fixes or finished products, but by the time a man is a finished product, he can usually do better than you.

Many seem to be attracted to a fixer-upper, whom they can "save".

Also, many women's idea of a "good man" is quite strange. That's a whole new threak!
post #103 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by mkarim View Post
Many seem to be attracted to a fixer-upper, whom they can "save". Also, many women's idea of a "good man" is quite strange. That's a whole new threak!
it's a tad bit more complicated than that. I know WHY they do it, but it still doesn't make it smart. Here is the woman's delimia, especially in todays society. Basically, there are certain traits, in a man that a woman loves. Dominant, self confident, sexual, etc.. Women well tell you "oh I hate an arrogant man" please, women eat that shit up. women loves a man who knows he a catch. Not necessarily in him saying it, but by his actions. Dont' sit on the damn phone with women all the time, have a lie outside of woman, let a woman know by your actions that look, I can take it or leave it so you better be on your best behavior. This is what is appealing to the fixer uper type guy. He has these traits. The problem is, the men she SHOULD be dating, dont' have these qualities. for the most part. Most men beg, whine, cry, follow, worship, that's not sexy to women. There is a good reason for this too. Most people ahve two choices. Party or be successful. Really smart, successful people, sacrifice alot when it comes to socializing, and aren't as caught up as their peers. I or instance, basically spent my late teens and half my twenties, locked in an office. My dad is my saving grace when it comes to women if not for him i'd be clueless. Instead of fixing up the guy that has potential to give her the lifestyle she wants, she chose to fix up the guy who has the traits she likes in a man, simply becuase she think he's sexier. Basically, when a woman is in her early 20's, instead of looking where she should look for a man, if she is looking for a man with a future, she looks at parties, through friends, online, at clubs, at the mall, wherver. The men she wants to be married to when she's 35, are studying and working their ass off at 25, not any of those places, but this is the last place she is going to look. Very rare is it a woman that understands this concept. I never had a problem actually attracting women, my problem was in my business, I had a problem keeping them becuase, I would not give them time, etc al, I was "no fun". I worked all the time, and made no bones about t hem not being my number one priority. That and when I was really in the mist of rujning my business I put on a tad bit of weight, simply becuase of living so reclusely. AS my dad always told me, women will come and go, there is no going out of business sale on @$%^@ And while digging deeper once you start to really understand the dynamics of it all.. I don't blame women for being more attracted to guys who are not passive, etc. Say you have a woman here, she's smoking hot. 24 years old, coke bottle body, college grad, decent job. She has 2 guys that she knows. One guy, basically is like look, you are fine as hell and I want to have sex with you, alot lol. But with that said, you are going to have to show me what you can do for me to settle down with me, you being hot isn't enough. You take another guy, the "good guy" if you will, he will sit on the phone and talk the the girl all night long (listen to her talk about how much of a jerk the other guy is), take her to te movies while the other guy refuses to pay for dates for a girl he isn't dating, take her out to eat, the whole grin. you call that a good guy, in reality, they both want the same thing. he might not come out and say it, that's becuase he's too scared to say it, that he wants to bend her over the nearest table and get busy lol. The thing is, she knows this, she's not stupid, but by not being honest about how he feels, he's come off as non sexual and non sexual guys, don't get sex. you can be, dominant, without being broke or a jerk or a "bad boy". That's why I am pretty successful, I'm actually quite a nice guy, I can talk to anyone, I get along with everyone, I'm not an asshole or a jerk, but I make no bones about what I want, and I don't take shit either. You can hold a woman to certain standards, and be a cool dude at the same time and that's how you as the sheen would say "win" Oh and don't even get me freaking started on women inside my race (I'm black) not as a collective hole but way more times then not, man, wow. I find all women attractive, at least all races... man, black women, just are down right impossible. You have to somehow, be successful yet at the same time, be hood enough to kick it with the fellas. Being educated/not stupid is somewhat frowned upon, you don't know how many time's I've heard "you think you are just too damn smart don't you" or something along those lines, but yet, you need to drive a luxury car at the same time lol. I've actually had girls turn me down becuase I was not "black enough".. and I'm not talking about hood rats either, then, wonder when they are in their 30's they don't have a man.
post #104 of 166
Christinedaae, Bit of life advice, get thee to a gym sooner than later and get on an exercise program. I started working out again 11 years ago at age 32 when I looked in the mirror one morning wearing only my boxers and saw my dad staring back, not cool (started at 238 lbs now maintaining around 195lb on average). If not for looking good but for preventative maintenance, most independent business owners I know are quite keen on working out to 1) relieve stress 2) reduce health costs and 3) networking opportunities. Life is too short to suffer a heart attack, stroke or a preventable cancer in your forties. Maybe it's time to move the business to greener pastures?
post #105 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by christinedaae View Post
The men she wants to be married to when she's 35, are studying and working their ass off at 25, not any of those places, but this is the last place she is going to look. Very rare is it a woman that understands this concept.
This is very true.

Quote:
Originally Posted by christinedaae View Post
Being educated/not stupid is somewhat frowned upon, you don't know how many time's I've heard "you think you are just too damn smart don't you" or something along those lines
This seems to be the case across society, unfortunately. Success seems to be frowned upon as "boring, you-have-no-life, work-work-work-all-the-time" and sometimes even "loser!". It's amazing how many people don't realize that some people can find work actually EXCITING, INTERESTING, CHALLENGING, CREATIVE, etc. Sheesh! So they are not work-work-work-all-the-time, they are actually fun-fun-fun-all-the-time, if they actually love what they do!

If I tell people that, according to Warren Buffett, "If you love what you do, you don't have to work a day in your life", I get blank stares. Enjoy work? Fascinating concept!!! :-)
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