Where Have the Good Men Gone - Page 6

Off topic but, just because I realize I buy a ton of shit doesn't mean that it's not a choice; I'm no better than a junkie on heroin sometimes. It's how I grew up, it's the people I grew up with, it's what you see pretty much everywhere, and it's hard to change your lifestyle when you are literally one step away from throwing money away. When a sales associate gives me a call because the $1,600 pair of shoes I want are 30% off, I'm normally there in 30 minutes, and the store is roughly 40 miles away too. I have gotten better though since I basically threw out or donated 6 boxes of stuff I bought but never used.

Bringing this to topic though, consumerism is just like the current trend with men. With more options, more choices, problems arise and society changes. The difference is that shoes cost money but internet porn is free.

If you really have an addiction to luxury goods, then you need help as badly as a junkie. But, short of a diagnosis for OCD, I think calling the habitual succumbing to one's desires against one's better judgment an "addiction" is a cop-out. I've been a "shopaholic," but all it takes to break that is to decide that other things are more important. Perhaps many people would find freedom from choice easier to handle than freedom of choice, but, again, just because freedom comes with problems doesn't mean we get to blame our problems on freedom. That includes the compulsive consumption of internet porn; the ability to have an orgasm on one's own—with or without dirty pictures—doesn't render relationships obsolete unless one has a very stunted conception of "relationships." Still, I am concerned that the easy availability of virtually limitless porn to pre-teens and teens—who are inherently less able to distinguish between fantasy and reality—will result in whole generations with a very warped notion of human sexuality. That is a societal problem.

Thanks for missing the point, bro.

I touched myself while reading "Gender Trouble," and fantasized about a world where outmoded gender stereotypes and struggling authors with no marketable skills except for a comp. lit. degree and 'keen social insight' eventually go the way of Rosie the Riveter. That bitch was tough, but time takes it's toll on all of us.

I completely agree. Unfortunately, it usually doesn't happen. At this point, I'm happy when a woman simply doesn't respond to an email or something. It's much better than being strung along.

You know what that's good enough for me. I have a story for this thread. There's this woman, very attractive, my age (early 40s) and I have known her since we were in middle school. We run into each other at a local gala, I was a finalist for the local art awards for photography, she and I hung out for the evening, at the end I asked her if she wanted to go out for a hike. She said yes. I replied, fine I'll email you to finalize things. Well when that weekend came up, I emailed this woman I have known for basically 30 years to firm things up, no reply. Ok I guess that answered that question, she was not that into me, fair enough, I got busy with other things in my life. Cue a month later I was a global conference for my professional association and a mutual friend came up to me in the hallway at the Sheridan Hotel in downtown Toronto. "Bill, ------ told me to tell you, she did not replay back because she was on an Alaskan cruise". Let me repeat, I am at a global professional association conference with almost 2000 people in attendence, the chances of running into me to pass on a message are pretty slim. My reply, "Um, ok, thanks for telling me." As I walked back to Union Station, it hit me, "What a gall, ----- could not have been bothered to hit reply and come up with something even obtuse, how high school could you get?" But as the old infomercial guys used to say, "But wait, there's more." Two months later at a local jazz festival I run into ----- on the street and she then proceeded to pull out,"I'm sorry about that weekend, I was on a cruise." Talk about beating an already dead horse. My inner voice was screaming,"Sweetie, there's a reason why you're still single, it's you!" Of course I was polite, accepted her lame story and moved so I can catch Cuban Canadian pianist Hilario Duran's set.

The winner :-)

She probably was on a cruise..

She was, I saw the photos on her FB wall. Hitting the reply button really is not hard to send at the very least a polite rejection (or even a lame one for that matter) as opposed to getting a mutual friend to do your dirty work, that just loses my respect.

I'm not sure I'm reading you right: are you characterizing Judith Butler as a "struggling author with no marketable skills except for a comp. lit. degree and 'keen social insight?'" Or does she represent a contrast to said struggling authors?

I assume this woman is relatively successful in her professional life. It's strange how there doesn't always seem to be much correlation between personal and professional success, even though a lot of the basics are pretty similar.

This woman is doing ok in an inside sales gig, decent group of friends, lots of personal interests, content with life. As for the correlation between personal and professional success, you nailed it.

I didn't think I'd wind up being a bachelor in my early forties, it just sort of turned out that way. My younger brother on the other hand, been married for 10 years with two beautiful kids, go figure.

I was referring to the author of the piece in the OP. No clear?

It's clear now, thanks.

Ever since the OP article was posted, there has been a wild fire of responding articles in the news. It's really struck a nerve.