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Where Have the Good Men Gone - Page 10

post #136 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by christinedaae View Post
you are confusing, having fun, with a guy being fun. They are two different things. I run a company, and when I 'm not running a company, I play the ponies. you could argue it's the other way around lol,. you'd actually be right. I went 3 years, not going on a single date, so over time, I have learned, to have my me time and enjoy it. I have hobbies, that get time no matter what, what little time I do have, i am a damn good piano player and I enjoy playing the piano, i get a few hours a week in here and there. I go to the gym almost daily, what I am getting at is, I'm a busy dude, it's why I don't post here a hell of alot. I say that to say, I don't have time, to wine and dine a woman in the sense of taking them out.. you know what.. i need to address something else you mentioned


first you are wrong, beucase that's EXACTLY what a woman doesn't want. Think about it for a second. if you have time, to take a woman out every night, what the hell does that say about your personal life lol? Women want, waht every othe rwomasn wants, bitch club bitch syndrome. If you are on the phone with a girl all the time or always out with them, even if you are dating them, you are saying, in a round about way you are my life right now. There is nothing sexy about that.



It's why the guy who sits on the phone with the girl all night, never gets the girl. A woman of any substance, will not respect a guy who takes them out every night and shit like that. Even when you have the time to do so, which you should not, that's the quickest way to the LJBF (let's just be friends) talk.

Anyway as I was saying, guys who have no personality, no game, have to do things to be fun. I have the ability to entrain a woman while sitting at home. The redhead that dumped me for the , ihop dude, the night I met her, I was checking out a Richard Hawkins book at Barnes and noble, did not plan on staying for more than 10 minutes, I saw her, she saw me, she asked me if I had read the book, next thing you know it's 2am and we are walking the streets down town talking, didn't spend a fucking cent, actually I take that back I went to sonic and got us 2 slushes (green apple :winning,just talking, she was so into me she asked me could she be my GF the next day, not 24 hours after I met her. I had her rolling the entire night. And that only comes from talking to women and developing game.


A woman, that, MAKES you take her out, does not want to with you. She is using you as an excuse to get out. big difference. right after the redhead I dated this RN, we literary, no exaggeration, would have dates at mc donalds. It was was close to the hosptial and she liked their fries lol. She could care less as long as it was with me, she just wanted to see me. That is a big red flag, a woman that always wants to go out, and stuff like that, which is why I don't chase them when they leave.


Just like a man has to have a life that does not revolve around a woman, damnit you don't want a woman who is like the plant on the little shop of horrors "FEED ME SEYMORE!!" just all the damn time. I want my woman to have a life, that i can just plug into, not waiting around for me to call or take her out and stuff, that's not healthy.


You have to understand something about women, that is confusing and that is, they will make you do, or tell you to do things, they really do not want, because they don't understand that they don't want if if that makes sense. Women really do not want to be wined and dined. They wanted to be treated fairly, and taken out every once in a while, but in moderation. Plus they appreciate it more. After like 5 straight mc d's dates i took heather to sonny williams, which is like THE stakehouse in little rock, she had sa smile on her face you couldn't wipe off for days, she appreciated it. But, what if you get in the habit of taking women places like that all the time? "well i kinda wanted seafood". And hell truth be told I personally eat out at least 3 times a week, hell i'm eating left overs from earlier tonight @ Canta Larado as we speak. I like to eat nice food. I just do so alone, I have no qualms about taking women out or even paying for it, but it has to be earned. You just don't give out stuff like that, no more than women just give out poon tickets.

+100.

Yes I'm beginning to realize these things. Thanks for the detailed response.
post #137 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by mkarim View Post
...I was not refering to expectations in relationships, but society telling boys to be nice sweet, asexual, well behaved, gentle boys who do what they are told. I think that's partly due to many guys being brought up by their mothers in the absence of their fathers and partly due to the feminist media that tells guys to be nice, sweet, pussy-whipped.

I'm trying to think what in contemporary American society tells boys/young men to be asexual and subservient to women, and I'm coming up empty. There's nothing wrong with being nice and sweet (real men should be cruel and obnoxious?), so long as you're not a doormat; having a spine doesn't mean being an ass. I don't know what "feminist media" you're talking about, but they aren't on my newsstand, radio, TV, or ISP, and I don't think they make computer games, either. I think boys would have to search pretty hard for a message in any popular media that says being pussy-whipped is admirable.
post #138 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by mkarim View Post
+100. Yes I'm beginning to realize these things. Thanks for the detailed response.
Can we just move to Croatia, dude? Sort of help to absolve us from this whole silly courtship thing--expedite the process, at the least.
post #139 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by pstoller View Post
I'm trying to think what in contemporary American society tells boys/young men to be asexual and subservient to women, and I'm coming up empty. There's nothing wrong with being nice and sweet (real men should be cruel and obnoxious?), so long as you're not a doormat; having a spine doesn't mean being an ass. I don't know what "feminist media" you're talking about, but they aren't on my newsstand, radio, TV, or ISP, and I don't think they make computer games, either. I think boys would have to search pretty hard for a message in any popular media that says being pussy-whipped is admirable.

I really think the only that that has been lost is the assumption that as a man you're going to rule the world. That gave boys a lot of (inflated) confidence in the past.
post #140 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by texas_jack View Post
I really think the only that that has been lost is the assumption that as a man you're going to rule the world. That gave boys a lot of (inflated) confidence in the past.

Exactly. This, to my mind, is a change for the better.
post #141 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by mm84321 View Post
Can we just move to Croatia, dude? Sort of help to absolve us from this whole silly courtship thing--expedite the process, at the least.

...or Ukraine or Russia or any Eastern European country
post #142 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by pstoller View Post
Exactly. This, to my mind, is a change for the better.

Mixed I would say. An unfortunate side effect is all the slacker dudes we have now who's main ambition is playing video games and smoking weed all day. Those people are bad for society in the long run.
post #143 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by pstoller View Post
As a grown man, should I care how WoW is played?
Well I would hope people had the general respect to speak knowledgeably on topics. Saying I need to up my score is no better than an episode of Numb3r's talking about firewalling some hacker by using Visual Basic. Is that a little too much to ask? I am enjoying the topic but just had to point out something that maybe shows your disconnect with the group the article is referring too. Obviously if you can not understand them or wish not then nothing is gained. edit:
Quote:
I'm trying to think what in contemporary American society tells boys/young men to be asexual and subservient to women, and I'm coming up empty. There's nothing wrong with being nice and sweet (real men should be cruel and obnoxious?), so long as you're not a doormat; having a spine doesn't mean being an ass.
Hm, it could be something more simpler like the absence of competition. Hard to explain and is much more evident in school settings when kids are dissuaded to be judged winners or losers. Since the age of these males the article mainly refers to are just out of college/College town atmosphere they still have some of that earlier school character building ingrained in them. Until they are put in the same arena with their seniors and have to adjust. Obviously this is all just hypothetical guesswork but is always mentioned when parents talk about kids lacking backbone or something similar.
post #144 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desi View Post
Well I would hope people had the general respect to speak knowledgeably on topics. Saying I need to up my score is no better than an episode of Numb3r's talking about firewalling some hacker by using Visual Basic. Is that a little too much to ask?

I am enjoying the topic but just had to point out something that maybe shows your disconnect with the group the article is referring too. Obviously if you can not understand them or wish not then nothing is gained.

edit: Hm, it could be something more simpler like the absence of competition. Hard to explain and is much more evident in school settings when kids are dissuaded to be judged winners or losers. Since the age of these males the article mainly refers to are just out of college/College town atmosphere they still have some of that earlier school character building ingrained in them. Until they are put in the same arena with their seniors and have to adjust. Obviously this is all just hypothetical guesswork but is always mentioned when parents talk about kids lacking backbone or something similar.
you bring up a good point. competition is a very good thing. I am not going to sit here and say I was an all star athlete as a kid, i was not. I mean I was athletic, and i actually was a pretty good baseball player, actually a very good baseball player, but i gave it up to play basketball which while I was okay in, i wasn't anywhere near as good. I've played sports my entire life. My two best friends, like blood brothers, one happened to be one of the best shooting guards in the state, and the other was an all metro point guard. i was his backup. i got used to being the third wheel throughout school. I was a solid third wheel, but a third wheel. I had to go to other schools to get the women i really wanted, becuase they got the pick of the litter. i got tired of it, as an adult, i wanted to be the pack leader which is i suppose, no actually i KNOW in a very simplistic form where my drive to be successful came from.

on a side note, it's funny how unfriendly people become when you aren't anyone's punching bag any longer. I hated it as a kid, my best friend was 6'4, 170 and could dunk with 2 hands in the 9th grade, just physically gifted. I am glad today I was not blessed with that type of athletic ability, I would not have pushed myself as hard as an adult.

The problem is, alot of kids, that don't grow up in sports, that don't taste defeat, don't taste stuff like that, you don't get a dose of that, utnil you are grown. everyone pats you on the back and gives you white 6th place ribbons for effort, everyone is a winner. they curve grade scales to make everyone feel good. there are real winners and losers in life. I was determined an an adult to be a fucking winner, women had very little to do with it, i just got knew i could not live the rest of my life, being like that.
post #145 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desi View Post
Well I would hope people had the general respect to speak knowledgeably on topics. Saying I need to up my score is no better than an episode of Numb3r's talking about firewalling some hacker by using Visual Basic. Is that a little too much to ask?
No, I suppose not. Lord knows I've been offended, however mildly, at all the "hacking" in popular films and TV shows that bears no relationship to how hackers or computers actually work. However, my real point should be abundantly clear even if I flubbed the finer points of how one measures one's advancement in WoW.

Quote:
...just had to point out something that maybe shows your disconnect with the group the article is referring too. Obviously if you can not understand them or wish not then nothing is gained.
Do you really believe that one cannot understand young men without knowing the specific details of one game that many of them play? Because, if that were true, then it would be a pretty sad statement about today's youth.

Quote:
Hm, it could be something more simpler like the absence of competition. Hard to explain and is much more evident in school settings when kids are dissuaded to be judged winners or losers. Since the age of these males the article mainly refers to are just out of college/College town atmosphere they still have some of that earlier school character building ingrained in them. Until they are put in the same arena with their seniors and have to adjust. Obviously this is all just hypothetical guesswork but is always mentioned when parents talk about kids lacking backbone or something similar.
I'm not a parent, but I have some idea of what school is like for my friends' children, and they don't seem to lack for competition. If anything, the competition for grades to get into a good college seems more intense than it was when I was in school.
post #146 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by texas_jack View Post
Mixed I would say. An unfortunate side effect is all the slacker dudes we have now who's main ambition is playing video games and smoking weed all day. Those people are bad for society in the long run.
Explain how the loss of "the assumption that as a man you're going to rule the world" and "(inflated) confidence" leads to boys becoming "slacker dudes." Do you believe these "slackers" would have become great leaders of men if only they'd had the world handed to them on a silver platter? I certainly don't.
post #147 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dylan1471 View Post
Well said

Quote:
Blaming is such a complete waste. I mean, it's so pointless. To say, you know, my mother was absent and therefore I ran amok, it's ridiculous. It's a self-destructive nature, it's a mental, physical and a kind of spiritual malady. If you subscribe to any of the teaching of any of those programs, whether it's Overeaters Anonymous, Smokers Anonymous, people who are happy and healthy and spiritually well don't do things to hurt themselves."
- marc jacobs


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/0..._n_833988.html

One person does drugs, blames his parents, becomes a street bum. Antoher person does drugs, becomes one of the best known designers in the world.
post #148 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by pstoller View Post
Explain how the loss of "the assumption that as a man you're going to rule the world" and "(inflated) confidence" leads to boys becoming "slacker dudes." Do you believe these "slackers" would have become great leaders of men if only they'd had the world handed to them on a silver platter? I certainly don't.

When it was assumed that men had to "take care" of a woman men had a reason to work harder. That's been lost. They probably wouldn't be president but they wouldn't be sitting on the couch either.
post #149 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by texas_jack View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by pstoller
Explain how the loss of "the assumption that as a man you're going to rule the world" and "(inflated) confidence" leads to boys becoming "slacker dudes."
When it was assumed that men had to "take care" of a woman men had a reason to work harder. That's been lost. They probably wouldn't be president but they wouldn't be sitting on the couch either.
Apparently, many women still think men ought to take care of them, even if they earn as much as"”or more than"”the men they date. In other words, men are still competing financially, just now with women as well as men. So, it seems to me that men should be working harder than ever. I guess they don't all feel that way, but I think those that don't are fools. If they believe they can afford to sit on the couch, they're dreaming.
post #150 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by pstoller View Post
Apparently, many women still think men ought to take care of them, even if they earn as much as—or more than—the men they date.
+1. Many women want it both ways - for them to be treated equally when it suits them and have men take care of them when it suits them. I've never had a woman successfully explain to me why this should be the case, but...

Quote:
Originally Posted by pstoller View Post
I guess they don't all feel that way, but I think those that don't are fools. If they believe they can afford to sit on the couch, they're dreaming.
Our entitlement society has created an entire generation of slackers (both men and women) who think society owes them without having to work for anything.
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