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Where Have the Good Men Gone - Page 9

post #121 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by christinedaae View Post
Circumstances do not make the man, they reveal him to himself - James Allen.

Everyone has some shit they went through. My dad, is a womanizing man who left my mom to chase tail. was a good dad but still, he wasn't there all the tim and my mom is a religious nutcase. I am a recovered drug addict, though you'd never in 100 years guess if you saw me. Everyone has issues. Strong people use them as fuel to their fire, weak people use them as excuses not to do anything in life.

Well said
post #122 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by texas_jack View Post
Some women actually do want "bad boys" but most grow out of it by their mid late 20s. However, all women do want someone with spine.

Women don't like nice boys. They like nice _men_.

They are only attracted to guys with a backbone. They would prefer a nice man with a backbone, but if there are none, they'll sleep with a jackass with a backbone.

They don't 'outgrow' liking bad boys. They go for guys with power. When you're 18, that's the badass who can beat people up and has a motorbike, when you're 40, its a guy with a fat bank balance and a BMW. Nothing has changed. Bad boy musicians who make millions are still doing pretty well when they are 40.

I think there is a problem nowadays, and its that our society does a very bad job of raising young men to be decent, adult men. We just try to tell boys to be nice sweet, asexual, well behaved, gentle boys who do what they are told. Some of them rebel fast - mainly the jackasses. Some are still nice sweet naive guys in their 20's just ready to be pussy whipped if they can get a girl friends. We need to raise good boys to become good _men_ and society is stacked against that right now.
post #123 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by ktrp View Post
Women don't like nice boys. They like nice _men_.

They are only attracted to guys with a backbone. They would prefer a nice man with a backbone, but if there are none, they'll sleep with a jackass with a backbone.

I think there is a problem nowadays, and its that our society does a very bad job of raising young men to be decent, adult men. We just try to tell boys to be nice sweet, asexual, well behaved, gentle boys who do what they are told. Some of them rebel fast - mainly the jackasses. Some are still nice sweet naive guys in their 20's just ready to be pussy whipped if they can get a girl friends. We need to raise good boys to become good _men_ and society is stacked against that right now.

+100.

We live in a strongly feminist society where the media gives guys the wrong programming.
post #124 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by horndog View Post
Those are the outliers though and they cross both genders. I just find laughable the boring, spineless, or petty men who generalize all women to this category and blame them for themselves being boring, spineless, or petty.

I have to disagree. I know what you mean but when you're working hard, building your career and making something of yourself, you automatically become what is termed as boring. There are only 24 hours in a day and working on your career can take a large chunk of that. There are times when you should have fun and times when you should hunker down and focus on other things in life. Many women seem to expect guys to be fun fun fun all the time. That's just not practical or rational.
post #125 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by ktrp View Post
Women don't like nice boys. They like nice _men_. They are only attracted to guys with a backbone. They would prefer a nice man with a backbone, but if there are none, they'll sleep with a jackass with a backbone. They don't 'outgrow' liking bad boys. They go for guys with power. When you're 18, that's the badass who can beat people up and has a motorbike, when you're 40, its a guy with a fat bank balance and a BMW. Nothing has changed. Bad boy musicians who make millions are still doing pretty well when they are 40. I think there is a problem nowadays, and its that our society does a very bad job of raising young men to be decent, adult men. We just try to tell boys to be nice sweet, asexual, well behaved, gentle boys who do what they are told. Some of them rebel fast - mainly the jackasses. Some are still nice sweet naive guys in their 20's just ready to be pussy whipped if they can get a girl friends. We need to raise good boys to become good _men_ and society is stacked against that right now.
mother of god someone gets it. it's nbot them, it's us. My dad saw how pathetic I was when it came to women, good looking kid, but I just didn't have a clue, and basically had to let me move in with him and take me to school or 2 years, when i was 16 and could drive. my mom, who, basic ally raised me herself, i lived with her, did a piss poor job of explaining the difference between men and women. she actually would tell me women hate men like my dad. I never put 2 and 2 together and noticed that my dad had a different woman every day of the week lol. I actually believed my mom. The problem is, alot of people dont' have my dad. I believe honestly, it stems with the rise in divorce rates. Divorces, kids get to stay with mommy. when you live with mommy and not daddy, you get fed a shitload of dribble and false crap, men hating crap, and she tells you what women want in a man, but the thing is, it's not really what women want lol, it's what she thinks women wants or better stated, what women should want, it's not actually what a woman wants. Mothers tell you how to get married. They don't tell you how to get laid. My dad sums it up in one sustenance.. a woman wants a damn man. Sounds simple. Be a freaking man. not a friend. Not a BFF, not a sugardaddy, not a john, just a man, and all that comes with it. The problem is, we stopped raising men a long time ago. Men don't know how to be men anymore. Men don't understands how ot be patient, how to build a life, how to take responsibility, how to dress, how to communicate, how to stand up for yourself, how to defend yourself, how to do anything right anymore. A man never makes a woman, unless you are married, the centerpiece of his life. eVER. yet that's all most men do. They wear clothes they think women like, they drive cars they think women like, they have har styles they think women like, they say thing they think women want to hear, they go places because they think that's where women are, they do everything based off the pursuit of poon. Most "men" have absolutely no sense of individualism, what woman is going to go crazyu over a guy who is just doing everything he thinks she wants him to do. There is nothing sexy about that. I remember about 2 years ago there was this girl I went to the movies with, first date. She was pretty cute, long story short, we get to the movies, she gets on the phone in the movie. Without even thinking about it I pull out 40 dollars, and tell her to catch a cab home, and went to the gym. I was already pissed I missed my gym time to go on the date anyway, that just was the icing on the cake. I had like 40 missed calls. I told a few friends this, they got on me for being so mean and inconsiderate. That girl came to my house the next day and we didn't leave my bedroom for about 2 days. She said she had neve had a man stand up to her (Admitted) crap like that and she found it sexy. and had she not come over, I wasn't going to call, and i damn near didn't let her in. Actually after that sex marathon I didn't call her back, I had moved on. The sex was good though. Have a freking spine, is what it all comes down to. Dont' be afraid to take the ball and go home, dont' be afraid to tell a woman this is what is going to happen, this is what we are going to do and if you don't like it, you can get in the goonie goo goo mobile and go.
post #126 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by christinedaae View Post
mother of god someone gets it.

it's nbot them, it's us. My dad saw how pathetic I was when it came to women, good looking kid, but I just didn't have a clue, and basically had to let me move in with him and take me to school or 2 years, when i was 16 and could drive. my mom, who, basic ally raised me herself, i lived with her, did a piss poor job of explaining the difference between men and women. she actually would tell me women hate men like my dad. I never put 2 and 2 together and noticed that my dad had a different woman every day of the week lol. I actually believed my mom. The problem is, alot of people dont' have my dad.

I believe honestly, it stems with the rise in divorce rates. Divorces, kids get to stay with mommy. when you live with mommy and not daddy, you get fed a shitload of dribble and false crap, men hating crap, and she tells you what women want in a man, but the thing is, it's not really what women want lol, it's what she thinks women wants or better stated, what women should want, it's not actually what a woman wants. Mothers tell you how to get married. They don't tell you how to get laid. My dad sums it up in one sustenance.. a woman wants a damn man. Sounds simple. Be a freaking man. not a friend. Not a BFF, not a sugardaddy, not a john, just a man, and all that comes with it.

The problem is, we stopped raising men a long time ago. Men don't know how to be men anymore. Men don't understands how ot be patient, how to build a life, how to take responsibility, how to dress, how to communicate, how to stand up for yourself, how to defend yourself, how to do anything right anymore. A man never makes a woman, unless you are married, the centerpiece of his life. eVER. yet that's all most men do. They wear clothes they think women like, they drive cars they think women like, they have har styles they think women like, they say thing they think women want to hear, they go places because they think that's where women are, they do everything based off the pursuit of poon. Most "men" have absolutely no sense of individualism, what woman is going to go crazyu over a guy who is just doing everything he thinks she wants him to do. There is nothing sexy about that.

+10000000000 times 100000000.
post #127 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by christinedaae View Post
I remember about 2 years ago there was this girl I went to the movies with, first date. She was pretty cute, long story short, we get to the movies, she gets on the phone in the movie. Without even thinking about it I pull out 40 dollars, and tell her to catch a cab home, and went to the gym. I was already pissed I missed my gym time to go on the date anyway, that just was the icing on the cake. I had like 40 missed calls. I told a few friends this, they got on me for being so mean and inconsiderate. That girl came to my house the next day and we didn't leave my bedroom for about 2 days. She said she had neve had a man stand up to her (Admitted) crap like that and she found it sexy. and had she not come over, I wasn't going to call, and i damn near didn't let her in. Actually after that sex marathon I didn't call her back, I had moved on. The sex was good though. Have a freking spine, is what it all comes down to. Dont' be afraid to take the ball and go home, dont' be afraid to tell a woman this is what is going to happen, this is what we are going to do and if you don't like it, you can get in the goonie goo goo mobile and go.

post #128 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by mkarim View Post
We live in a strongly feminist society where the media gives guys the wrong programming.

Feminism has nothing to do with what's wrong with men (or with women). Men who can't handle being on a level playing field with women either in the workplace or in their personal lives are wusses. There are women"”and men"”who have unrealistic expectations of relationships. If you learn this about someone you're dating and you stay in it anyway, that's nobody's fault but your own.
post #129 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desi View Post
hey hey....hey hey hey!! That is not how World of Warcraft is played.

As a grown man, should I care how WoW is played?
post #130 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by mkarim View Post
I have to disagree. I know what you mean but when you're working hard, building your career and making something of yourself, you automatically become what is termed as boring. There are only 24 hours in a day and working on your career can take a large chunk of that. There are times when you should have fun and times when you should hunker down and focus on other things in life. Many women seem to expect guys to be fun fun fun all the time. That's just not practical or rational.

mkarim, what's your definition of 'fun' in the context of your quote?

Cause there is zero correlation with "working hard" and being boring / not fun. Being boring is the inability to engage and maintain interest, accomplished through: a sense of humor, a sense of adventure, passion for your hobbies, an ability to 'wow' a girl with your brain by being cerebral, among other things. This gives you sex appeal. You can't blame your inability to do this because you "work hard", give me a break. And it doesn't matter what you do - no girl worth her salt gives cares about your job title (within reason). A guy that can constantly engage a girl in conversation by varying it up with humor, storytelling, intelligence, passion, sex appeal, is a shoehorn into her interest and thus into her panties. Making a girl feel comfortable around you is also key. Women enjoy men who don't incite their defense mechanisms. Just don't confuse that with being a pussy.

Anyway, a guy can work 12 hours a day being an auditor, librarian, an overworked corporate minion of any kind, and still be super attractive to girls if he knows what girls respond to. It pains me to see men who think that girls should be attracted to them just because they work hard and have a career. It can help, but it's far from paramount. It's one of those things girls talk about, but what girls say and what they think are often opposing. In closing, personality > *
post #131 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boston Tweed View Post

X999999999999999999999999999999999999
post #132 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by pstoller View Post
Feminism has nothing to do with what's wrong with men (or with women). Men who can't handle being on a level playing field with women either in the workplace or in their personal lives are wusses. There are women"”and men"”who have unrealistic expectations of relationships. If you learn this about someone you're dating and you stay in it anyway, that's nobody's fault but your own.

Maybe so but I was not refering to expectations in relationships, but society telling boys to be nice sweet, asexual, well behaved, gentle boys who do what they are told. I think that's partly due to many guys being brought up by their mothers in the absence of their fathers and partly due to the feminist media that tells guys to be nice, sweet, pussy-whipped.
post #133 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by horndog View Post
mkarim, what's your definition of 'fun' in the context of your quote?

Cause there is zero correlation with "working hard" and being boring / not fun. Being boring is the inability to engage and maintain interest, accomplished through: a sense of humor, a sense of adventure, passion for your hobbies, an ability to 'wow' a girl with your brain by being cerebral, among other things. This gives you sex appeal. You can't blame your inability to do this because you "work hard", give me a break. And it doesn't matter what you do - no girl worth her salt gives cares about your job title (within reason). A guy that can constantly engage a girl in conversation by varying it up with humor, storytelling, intelligence, passion, sex appeal, is a shoehorn into her interest and thus into her panties. Making a girl feel comfortable around you is also key. Women enjoy men who don't incite their defense mechanisms. Just don't confuse that with being a pussy.

By fun I mean taking them out almost every night and on weekends etc. Some want to be entertained almost every day.
post #134 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by horndog View Post
mkarim, what's your definition of 'fun' in the context of your quote?

Cause there is zero correlation with "working hard" and being boring / not fun. Being boring is the inability to engage and maintain interest, accomplished through: a sense of humor, a sense of adventure, passion for your hobbies, an ability to 'wow' a girl with your brain by being cerebral, among other things. This gives you sex appeal. You can't blame your inability to do this because you "work hard", give me a break. And it doesn't matter what you do - no girl worth her salt gives cares about your job title (within reason). A guy that can constantly engage a girl in conversation by varying it up with humor, storytelling, intelligence, passion, sex appeal, is a shoehorn into her interest and thus into her panties. Making a girl feel comfortable around you is also key. Women enjoy men who don't incite their defense mechanisms. Just don't confuse that with being a pussy.

Anyway, a guy can work 12 hours a day being an auditor, librarian, an overworked corporate minion of any kind, and still be super attractive to girls if he knows what girls respond to. It pains me to see men who think that girls should be attracted to them just because they work hard and have a career. It can help, but it's far from paramount. It's one of those things girls talk about, but what girls say and what they think are often opposing. In closing, personality > *

ULTRA COMBO!!!
post #135 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by mkarim View Post
By fun I mean taking them out almost every night and on weekends etc. Some want to be entertained almost every day.
you are confusing, having fun, with a guy being fun. They are two different things. I run a company, and when I 'm not running a company, I play the ponies. you could argue it's the other way around lol,. you'd actually be right. I went 3 years, not going on a single date, so over time, I have learned, to have my me time and enjoy it. I have hobbies, that get time no matter what, what little time I do have, i am a damn good piano player and I enjoy playing the piano, i get a few hours a week in here and there. I go to the gym almost daily, what I am getting at is, I'm a busy dude, it's why I don't post here a hell of alot. I say that to say, I don't have time, to wine and dine a woman in the sense of taking them out.. you know what.. i need to address something else you mentioned first you are wrong, beucase that's EXACTLY what a woman doesn't want. Think about it for a second. if you have time, to take a woman out every night, what the hell does that say about your personal life lol? Women want, waht every othe rwomasn wants, bitch club bitch syndrome. If you are on the phone with a girl all the time or always out with them, even if you are dating them, you are saying, in a round about way you are my life right now. There is nothing sexy about that. It's why the guy who sits on the phone with the girl all night, never gets the girl. A woman of any substance, will not respect a guy who takes them out every night and shit like that. Even when you have the time to do so, which you should not, that's the quickest way to the LJBF (let's just be friends) talk. Anyway as I was saying, guys who have no personality, no game, have to do things to be fun. I have the ability to entrain a woman while sitting at home. The redhead that dumped me for the , ihop dude, the night I met her, I was checking out a Richard Hawkins book at Barnes and noble, did not plan on staying for more than 10 minutes, I saw her, she saw me, she asked me if I had read the book, next thing you know it's 2am and we are walking the streets down town talking, didn't spend a fucking cent, actually I take that back I went to sonic and got us 2 slushes (green apple :winning,just talking, she was so into me she asked me could she be my GF the next day, not 24 hours after I met her. I had her rolling the entire night. And that only comes from talking to women and developing game. A woman, that, MAKES you take her out, does not want to with you. She is using you as an excuse to get out. big difference. right after the redhead I dated this RN, we literary, no exaggeration, would have dates at mc donalds. It was was close to the hosptial and she liked their fries lol. She could care less as long as it was with me, she just wanted to see me. That is a big red flag, a woman that always wants to go out, and stuff like that, which is why I don't chase them when they leave. Just like a man has to have a life that does not revolve around a woman, damnit you don't want a woman who is like the plant on the little shop of horrors "FEED ME SEYMORE!!" just all the damn time. I want my woman to have a life, that i can just plug into, not waiting around for me to call or take her out and stuff, that's not healthy. You have to understand something about women, that is confusing and that is, they will make you do, or tell you to do things, they really do not want, because they don't understand that they don't want if if that makes sense. Women really do not want to be wined and dined. They wanted to be treated fairly, and taken out every once in a while, but in moderation. Plus they appreciate it more. After like 5 straight mc d's dates i took heather to sonny williams, which is like THE stakehouse in little rock, she had sa smile on her face you couldn't wipe off for days, she appreciated it. But, what if you get in the habit of taking women places like that all the time? "well i kinda wanted seafood". And hell truth be told I personally eat out at least 3 times a week, hell i'm eating left overs from earlier tonight @ Canta Larado as we speak. I like to eat nice food. I just do so alone, I have no qualms about taking women out or even paying for it, but it has to be earned. You just don't give out stuff like that, no more than women just give out poon tickets.
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