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How Do You Choose Your Battles?

post #1 of 32
Thread Starter 
So, some guy tailgated me for about a mile and a half and then when I was turning left he drove real close to my car on the right and yelled "asshole" out the window at me.

A guy at work simply doesn't do a part of his job and tries to pass it on to me. He then tells my supervisor (constantly) about how I don't do anything and I'm worthless.

I think my supervisor believes him...

Blah, blah, blah...

When does one take a stand? What are the good battles to pick and the ones to let go?

While I'm a pretty laid back and tolerant person, I don't want to end up like Michael Douglas in Falling Down but I'm wondering what battles you find worth fighting?

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post #2 of 32
pick the ones that you can win. the smartest thing that you can do is not start a battle that you will lose.
post #3 of 32
If I end up losing sleep over something then it becomes a question of how to battle.

...I almost always prefer mano a mano
post #4 of 32
You will find that if you nip things in the bud early you will save yourself a lot of stress later.
post #5 of 32
I don't throw darts at a board. I bet on sure things. Read Sun-tzu, The Art of War. Every battle is won before it is ever fought.
post #6 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by justsayno View Post
pick the ones that you can win.

the smartest thing that you can do is not start a battle that you will lose.

+1
post #7 of 32
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nathaniel72 View Post
If I end up losing sleep over something then it becomes a question of how to battle.

...I almost always prefer mano a mano

Are we talking pistols? Swords? Or, maybe boxing?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hombre Secreto View Post
I don't throw darts at a board. I bet on sure things. Read Sun-tzu, The Art of War. Every battle is won before it is ever fought.

Funny, that book has been on my reading list forever. Any suggestions on a good translation and commentary?
post #8 of 32
James Clavell made a short and simple version.
post #9 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tck13 View Post
So, some guy tailgated me for about a mile and a half and then when I was turning left he drove real close to my car on the right and yelled "asshole" out the window at me.

A guy at work simply doesn't do a part of his job and tries to pass it on to me. He then tells my supervisor (constantly) about how I don't do anything and I'm worthless.

I think my supervisor believes him...

Blah, blah, blah...

When does one take a stand? What are the good battles to pick and the ones to let go?

While I'm a pretty laid back and tolerant person, I don't want to end up like Michael Douglas in Falling Down but I'm wondering what battles you find worth fighting?


for me .. the smartest thing to do ever.. just STAY AWAY from those shits... remind yourself .. that you are much BETTER than those little P....Y
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post #10 of 32
A battle won is a battle not fought. Several years ago, I telephoned a customer to speak to the owner, who I hadn't heard from in some time. I was put through to his brother, that explained to me several months earlier he had died. As I had met the gentleman once, several years earlier, and his age was close to mine, I asked for the circumstances. His brother explained that his vehicle was bumped and he had words with the other driver. As it was a minor accident, police were not called (I also assumed that the "words" may have been a little more than "words"). Anyhow, he left the accident scene, heading home. The other driver followed him and when he got out of his vehicle, he ran him down. He died a day or so later from the injuries. Me, I'm quick tempered and I have to work at containing my mouth. The older I get the better I control my temper.
post #11 of 32
handle that work issue because that will only escalate. the guy that tailgates you, fuck 'em! drive slower.
post #12 of 32
As far as crazy drivers, let it pass, not worth it. Your coworker you shouldn't let him do that to you. Outperform the coworker and make sure the supervisor notices. Thus, you can passive aggressively take care of that problem. Those kinds of people eventually always get caught. Dont let people get to you, choose your battles carefully and read art of war. good luck
post #13 of 32
yeah. outshine that d-bag at work. forget about the traffic crap though. everyone has a gun in their car now a days and they apparently are stupid enough to use it.
post #14 of 32
You should also weigh in the facts that if you choose to proceed with said battle, how it will affect your tomorrow and those around you. When it comes to the guy at your workplace blaming you for absent work, just write down the things you've been assigned and keep a report that documents which assignments you've completed. You can even send a monthly report to your boss to show you are serious about your work and that you're actually doing it all. Win-win if you ask me.
post #15 of 32
Here are two good rules to follow (I am serious):

1. Never go to battle with someone who has less to lose than you do.
2. If you are not sure about #1, don't go to battle.

Bonus rule:
1. Ask yourself if this issue will matter to you next month. In the case of traffic slights, the answer will always be "no".
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