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How to tell someone they are not welcome in my home alone

post #1 of 83
1/27/11 at 2:31pm
Thread Starter 
My girlfriend and I share a condo. Sometimes her friend will stay over on weekdays and sleep on the couch. I dont like this but I concede. My girlfriend's friend did this last night and I just found out this morning that the friend does not work today. My girlfriend and I do, so she would be staying in my home all day long unsupervised.

This makes me extremely uncomfortable. If my girlfriend doesn't have the heart to tell her that she cant do this then I will. I have no qualms about putting my foot down, but I dont want the friend to feel intimidated or uncomfortable when she comes over in the future. For the record, I am not friend's with this person. I'll walk out to say hello and chit chat then go off to read. Other than keeping her out of my home unsupervised I would like to be thought of as a welcoming host. Any advice?
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post #2 of 83
1/27/11 at 2:34pm
Uh... I don't know. I would never leave anyone but family members and relatives at home if I had to step out, unless I've known the person for long enough to treat them as one. Isn't she old enough to know that when the hosts aren't at their house, she shouldn't be either? You could always hint at it like, "Do you need me to drop you off at your house on my way to work?" If, for any reason, she says no, then she's really really dense.
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post #3 of 83
1/27/11 at 2:39pm
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post #4 of 83
1/27/11 at 2:39pm
Thread Starter 
She is the most dense person I have ever met. She has also let my girlfriend stay at her home unsupervised a few times in a past, so I think she just assumes it's normal. I dont think it's a subject I will be able to beat around the bush about.
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post #5 of 83
1/27/11 at 2:43pm
if the friend is a she, suggest a threesome
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post #6 of 83
1/27/11 at 2:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reggs View Post
She is the most dense person I have ever met. She has also let my girlfriend stay at her home unsupervised a few times in a past, so I think she just assumes it's normal. I dont think it's a subject I will be able to beat around the bush about.

you wont. unfortunately you will just have to be blunt and state your case. You will probably hurt some feelings. but honestly, someone who gets their feelings hurt over something like that isnt someone id want in my life.

To me, thats just absurd. Id be uncomfortable having ANYONE in my home when im gone.
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post #7 of 83
1/27/11 at 6:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reggs View Post
My girlfriend and I share a condo. Sometimes her friend will stay over on weekdays and sleep on the couch. I dont like this but I concede. My girlfriend's friend did this last night and I just found out this morning that the friend does not work today. My girlfriend and I do, so she would be staying in my home all day long unsupervised.

This makes me extremely uncomfortable. If my girlfriend doesn't have the heart to tell her that she cant do this then I will. I have no qualms about putting my foot down, but I dont want the friend to feel intimidated or uncomfortable when she comes over in the future. For the record, I am not friend's with this person. I'll walk out to say hello and chit chat then go off to read. Other than keeping her out of my home unsupervised I would like to be thought of as a welcoming host. Any advice?

Why exactly? Is she homeless? Bad home environment?

Doesn't make sense, unless she is raiding the fridge...
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post #8 of 83
1/27/11 at 6:24pm
really? you don't let visiting friends stay at your house "unsupervised?" i usually don't let people i don't trust into my home in the first place. just deal with it. it'll make you sound like you are either calling her a thief or are hiding some massive collection of degenerate porn you are worried about her stumbling upon.
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post #9 of 83
1/27/11 at 6:28pm
One of the oldest lines ever said by man...
"You don't have to go home........but you have to get da FUKKK outta here!"
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post #10 of 83
1/27/11 at 6:32pm
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post #11 of 83
1/27/11 at 6:36pm
sit them down, tell them that while your girlfriend is cool with it, you are not.

tell them you appreciate for understanding, and hope they don't take it as a personal attack.

shud be gud.
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post #12 of 83
1/27/11 at 6:39pm
Buy the album "Thriller" by Michael Jackson. The next time she is there and you are getting rdy to leave, blast the song "Beat It!"
She should get the hint!
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post #13 of 83
1/27/11 at 6:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reggs View Post
My girlfriend and I share a condo.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Reggs View Post
She has also let my girlfriend stay at her home unsupervised a few times in a past, so I think she just assumes it's normal.
Whose name is on the lease? Who pays the rent? If the answers are anything other than "Me, and I alone pay the rent," you're SOL.

Why do you mind the friend staying in the condo unsupervised? Has she shown any indications that she's untrustworthy?
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post #14 of 83
1/27/11 at 10:16pm
walk around the house naked
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post #15 of 83
1/27/11 at 10:34pm
What did your gf say about it?
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