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Friends with benefits arrangement - how did you set it up? - Page 2

post #16 of 25
1/23/11 at 4:46pm
i had a friend i used to hang out with a lot and it started innocent enough. i would crash at her place sometimes and it started out as platonic. then one night, she wanted to cuddle, a little while after that she kissed me and then we began to hook up regularly. as cheesy as it sounds, it just sort of happened.

like others said, we were friends so both of us knew that neither of us wanted a relationship at this point in our lives. that was established in the beginning. unfortunately, she said she didnt want to hook up bc she couldnt seperate the feelings from physical and it ended.

other guys i know who have done this followed basically what eason posted earlier.
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post #17 of 25
1/23/11 at 10:32pm
It's touch to keep it in that zone. Usually, one party ends up wanting more. This almost always leads to destruction!
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post #18 of 25
1/24/11 at 12:21am
She wanted it, I obliged.
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post #19 of 25
1/24/11 at 4:39am
Quote:
Originally Posted by harvey_birdman View Post
What does this have to do with Black Swan?
I think he may have been referring to this: and not the pornographic, psychological thriller, Black Swan
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post #20 of 25
1/24/11 at 2:04pm
That's the joke

Had this for ~4 months - hooked up after a night drinking, we added each other on Facebook, she invited me over for drinks one night, wound up in bed again. And again. Basically we were Fbuddies more than FWB, but we did hang out before/after sex, or if we ran into each other elsewhere. Actually got to know each other really well, and just realized that we wouldn't make a good couple, so why mess with a good thing

It ended because we individually found people that we would make a good couple with.
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post #21 of 25
1/24/11 at 2:24pm
I kinda fell into it: she was on her knees fixing the office copier when it had a paper jam, and I thought she was kinda hawt. After that we bumped into each other here and there until she invited me to go dancing with her group, and things proceeded fairly quickly from there. I told her I had a girlfriend, she told me I wouldn't be the only one, and things were good. I traveled a lot, she did as well - although less than I did - and we saw each other casually and sporadically. Years later she seemed to want to settle down but I was having none of it and bolted.
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post #22 of 25
1/24/11 at 5:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaron01 View Post
This. #2 is key, you have to tell them before you hook up otherwise they'll think you're just trying to ditch them. Make it clear from the beginning that you're not looking for anything serious.

this can backfire though, had the most memorable case of blue balls in my life after that convo.

personally speaking i've only had this type of relationship with consistency once- with the younger sister of one of my best friends from high school. this was a couple years back and she was visiting in the area for a few months and staying with her dad- who had asked us, her brother's friends, over dinner one night if any of us would be willing to take her out (bad idea) while she was visiting. needless to say, i willingly volunteered at the opportunity. we were out dancing one evening and she just whispered in my ear "wanna go back to your place and fuck?" she was so casual about it the next morning too, just nonchalantly saying "do you wanna be my fuck buddy while I'm here?" those were some great months while it lasted, before she flew back to Australia.
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post #23 of 25
1/24/11 at 11:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by aphextwin07 View Post
this can backfire though, had the most memorable case of blue balls in my life after that convo.

Blue balls are easier to deal with than the headaches that can ensue by telling a broad you don't want a relationship after you B your L on her Ts
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post #24 of 25
1/25/11 at 10:33am
I've had probably 3 fuck buddies, and only 1 made it out still being friends, the other two ruined the friendship, which I regret.
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post #25 of 25
1/25/11 at 10:42am
for the most part, you can't actively look for a friend with benefits the same way you can pursue a girlfriend. That kind of situation usually happens when you have friends you hang out with at parties/bars etc. and you only start hooking up when you get drunk. I have never seen the situation where friends are calling each other to soberly fuck and leaving without feelings getting involved very quickly.
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