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What do you do when your wife/GF is away? - Page 6

post #76 of 137
Quote:
Originally Posted by CouttsClient View Post
I'm very happy some people find this, but I don't ever want to be so close to anyone. Again.
I have friends who've told me they pity me because I don't have the intensity of relationship they have. I suppose I pity my friends who can't see that there is more than one kind of relationship.

To the romantic ... it never seems to occur that there might be another way ... something other than the all-consuming. But ... there certainly is ... and it's not an inferior way. It is all about prefernce.

I've never understood others who define themselves by their relationship ... those who are so close to the other than they are lost without them. I'm not saying that is wrong or bad ... it just doesn't work for me.

My spouse and I are best friends ... but we are not lost without the other. While we share a part of our lives ... we each have a life quite independent of the other.

I'll also note that many of our friends, both male and female, are single -- by choice -- and have very fulfilling lives. One of them recently said of us, "You are two single people who choose to cohabitate." If that's the way they see it ... so be it. As I see it, we're just who we are.
post #77 of 137
Quote:
Originally Posted by RSS View Post
I have friends who've told me they pity me because I don't have the intensity of relationship they have. I suppose I pity my friends who can't see that there is more than one kind of relationship.

To the romantic ... it never seems to occur that there might be another way ... something other than the all-consuming. But ... there certainly is ... and it's not an inferior way. It is all about prefernce.

I've never understood others who define themselves by their relationship ... those who are so close to the other than they are lost without them. I'm not saying that is wrong or bad ... it just doesn't work for me.

My spouse and I are best friends ... but we are not lost without the other. While we share a part of our lives ... we each have a life quite independent of the other.

I'll also note that many of our friends, both male and female, are single -- by choice -- and have very fulfilling lives. One of them recently said of us, "You are two single people who choose to cohabitate." If that's the way they see it ... so be it. As I see it, we're just who we are.

Forgive me for asking, you're well within your right to not answer - but has that been the tenor of your marriage from the get-go or did things start differently? Also, were you and your wife of like-mind in this, or did one of you see things differently at the outset?
post #78 of 137
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post
Forgive me for asking, you're well within your right to not answer - but has that been the tenor of your marriage from the get-go or did things start differently? Also, were you and your wife of like-mind in this, or did one of you see things differently at the outset?
Just to be upfront ... I had a relationship prior that was a bit all-consuming ... and I was never comfortable. And there was plenty of dating in high school, college, and my early professional life.

With my current we are now at 30+ years ... and it has been like this (to one degree or another) from the beginning. And yes, we are of like-mind about it. We certainly discussed our views before marriage. And btw ... this is not to say there have been no moments of heated passion ... as there have been many.

I've often heard it said that children mirror their parents ... and this is certainly true for me when it comes to relationships. That said, my parents had a wonderful marriage ... and so do I.

I'll add, my parents gave me some good advice way back when. Don't go into marriage with assumptions about your partner ... make certain to talk things through ... lay it on the table ... know what you are getting into. On this note, a few years ago a good friend got divorced, and his wife said to me, "Don is too free-spirited. Even after we married, he never changed." I remember saying in return, "If you had an expectation of change, it would have been good to know whether or not there was the possibility of it being fulfilled before you got married. Did it never occur to you to ask?"
post #79 of 137
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post
I do pretty much the same thing as when she's here, I just don't have my usual partner in crime with me to enjoy things.
I like this answer.
post #80 of 137
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eason View Post
That's a coincidence, I also usually eat Chinese food!

You guys should be BFFs!
post #81 of 137
Quote:
Originally Posted by RSS View Post
I have friends who've told me they pity me because I don't have the intensity of relationship they have. I suppose I pity my friends who can't see that there is more than one kind of relationship. To the romantic ... it never seems to occur that there might be another way ... something other than the all-consuming. But ... there certainly is ... and it's not an inferior way. It is all about prefernce. I've never understood others who define themselves by their relationship ... those who are so close to the other than they are lost without them. I'm not saying that is wrong or bad ... it just doesn't work for me. My spouse and I are best friends ... but we are not lost without the other. While we share a part of our lives ... we each have a life quite independent of the other. I'll also note that many of our friends, both male and female, are single -- by choice -- and have very fulfilling lives. One of them recently said of us, "You are two single people who choose to cohabitate." If that's the way they see it ... so be it. As I see it, we're just who we are.
Thank you for posting this. It makes perfect sense to me. I don't believe I'll ever have the kind of close relationship I had before. Perhaps close but in a much different way. There will now be an understanding that I don't seek to be "one" with anyone. It bothers me that my friends who are in relationships can't even seem to have a meal without their significant other be involved in some way. Ask them what they want to accomplish in life and be prepared to wait until they consult with the wife/gf/bf. These very people say I should date while their relationships are incredibly co-dependent and seemingly less than..."special". ...None of this diminishes the joy of masturbating while the s/o is away...
post #82 of 137
Quote:
Originally Posted by CouttsClient View Post
None of this diminishes the joy of masturbating while the s/o is away...
If the residence is accommodating enough ... who says the s/o must be away?!
post #83 of 137
Quote:
Originally Posted by RSS View Post
If the residence is accommodating enough ... who says the s/o must be away?!
My thoughts as well but others in this thread seem to need a sq footage upgrade to make it work
post #84 of 137
Quote:
Originally Posted by CouttsClient View Post
My thoughts as well but others in this thread seem to need a sq footage upgrade to make it work

Eh, I don't beat it when she's around simply because there's better options.

Speaking of, the girl is in France for the next 10 days, so our hommade porn is going to end up in a lot heavier rotation now.
post #85 of 137
To the married guys- how often do you typically have sex now vs. when you were dating/engaged?

Do you end up jerkin more when your married?
post #86 of 137
Quote:
Originally Posted by NameBack View Post
Eh, I don't beat it when she's around simply because there's better options.

Speaking of, the girl is in France for the next 10 days, so our hommade porn is going to end up in a lot heavier rotation now.

This is what most people say but I find that it doesn't make sense. It's not necessarily a competition. It has it's own virtues
post #87 of 137
Quote:
Originally Posted by pocketsquareguy View Post
Your wife or GF is out of town for a few days. What do you do that is different than when she is around?

Get another (wife/GF).
post #88 of 137
Quote:
Originally Posted by eglbc View Post
To the married guys- how often do you typically have sex now vs. when you were dating/engaged?

From what I've been told, sex is usually on public holidays after marriage, esp after kids. Your mileage may vary.
post #89 of 137
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rambo View Post
You're not married. The rules have yet to change for you.

+1000000.
post #90 of 137
Quote:
Originally Posted by CouttsClient View Post
Whenever I begin to think being single is no longer for me...I'm reminded how much better it is...for me.

Same here. Contrary to popular belief, single people can also lead fulfilling lives.
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