Married SFers: How much did your wedding cost? - Page 7

And a healthy pounding after the reception, amirite

If you really can afford it, i'd just give her what she wants and not worry so much. But if by afford it you mean that you have the money in the bank, but will have to defer buying a house, or that it will put a major crimp in your lifestyle, then i'm not sure you can afford it.

having a fiance who won't back down demanding you to pay $30k out of pocket for a wedding you don't need isn't a good sign. over/under on the length of this marriage has to be at 20 months right now caving is never a good thing to do.

I won't go so far as to set an over/under, but this guy's on the right track.

My younger sister is getting married in 6 months, so it's about all my mother talks to me about for the past 6 months. It's all coming out of my parents pocket, so my sister has been pretty good about letting my mother dictate what she wants out of the wedding/apathetic about her own wedding, take your pick... because my sister is 23 and my soon to be BIL is 24, and both are just out of college (she with her bachelor's and he with his master's) and nether have held any kind of real employment or financial savings/assets... yeah. -dress, she bought or ordered cheaply already, not sure the story but we can work with that I guess -groom's side clothes I have offered to make bespoke at my cost, which they will pay out of pocket on their own, and it is not much more than what rentals would cost and everyone will get to go home with a black suit that these non-professional student guys can use later (yeah, save me the black suit talk for another day)... but BIL seems to be lazy and has not really pushed the matter along much at if all, and time is ticking -church location -DJ, photographers, music, etc are all people they know, but all seem pretty expensive still. Well into the 4 figures for each service that might end up costing $5000-8000 alone. Seems a bit high? -not sure where the party is, nor how many are coming, but it won't be too small. My extended family is large and travels to weddings as far as they need to. -My mom has it in her head that all of it is gonna cost $20,000, but the budget seems to be missing $5K-10K still, so maybe she is planning to chip in for their honeymoon as well. I am not sure. I offered to the make the men's clothes, and I'm paying out of pocket to be there, which will cost me $2000, in addition to a couple grand I've gotta pay to get to a cousin's wedding a month earlier, so I'm already in for four grand just to be there. I don't foresee a divorce coming down the line with these two, but I do think $20K is a lot to spend on my sister and this guy. Neither are particularly hard working, as I said, and neither has anything huge lined up where they're going to get into any kind of money on their own, so $20K for them, at their age, is quite a lot of cash. I don't think they'd get into the property market, but they might need something if they can't get into the job market...

Around $25,000 for a Manhattan wedding this past May with 125 guests, and we felt like we made out like bandits. -We used business and personal connections where possible to keep prices down. -We had it on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend - lower than a Saturday wedding, but not inconveniencing our guests since most, if not all, were off the next day. -We decided only to have a best man and maid-of-honor. -We're in our mid-30s and paid for it ourselves. Where we splurged: $17,000: Cocktail hour and reception for 125 guests at a large, acclaimed midtown Manhattan restaurant where we know the owner who cut us a great deal. Had the entire joint to ourselves. Six hour open bar, premium liquor. Hot hors d'oeuvres included wood-roasted oysters, shrimp, small lamb chops. Choice of 8 oz filet mignon or wood-roasted salmon for dinner. The food blew everyone away. $2,000: Hotel rooms plus bridal suite at a top-flight midtown hotel for us, immediate family, maid-of-honor and best man for two nights. My wife often put clients up at this hotel so we were able to get a great rate. $1,500: Flowers. Didn't realize how much you get hosed by florists on weddings, but man, you do. This was bouquet and headpiece for wife, flower display for church, etc. $1,200: Photography - Hired a photojournalist colleague of mine. Worked his ass of that day. All candid, fly-on-the-wall shots. Supplied us with 800 to 900 4x6 prints, a custom-made CD with all our photos, plus he set up a Website with all our photos. $1,000: DJ - Paying someone to spin my discs and play our exacting setlist was not my idea of money well spent. Would have preferred to program my own iPod, but I was overruled. Still, the guy was a pro. He played what we wanted, when we wanted. Everyone danced. Where we saved: $400: My wife's dress. God bless her. She saw it early on in a J.Crew catalog and fell in love with it. $350: Centerpiece flowers for tables - Mother-in-law made them herself. 15 vases from Ikea. Flowers from Costco. $225: Wedding cake - or rather 150 cupcakes stacked together. $200: Vocalist and organist at church. They came cheap. $200: Favors - Bought $400 worth of Godiva gift cards for $200 from Costco and gave everyone chocolates to take home. $150: Invitations - We designed and printed them ourselves. Bought the paper and envelopes at a craft store. Toner at Staples. Stamps at PO. $100: Tux rental at Men's Wearhouse. Crucify me, but the damn thing fit well. A lot of grooms complain about the wedding, and yeah planning was a bitch. But I enjoyed the hell out of that day. It was money well spent.

Nice, you did indeed.

Very very impressive. $2000 for hotel rooms + suite for two nights in NYC? rly?

My wife brought a lot of business to this hotel through the years, so they treated us very well. The suite was something ridiculous like $350 a night.

Now that's the way to do it.

You mean 350 AFTER the discount, right?

Can you even get a room at the Marriott in NYC for 350?

Yes, after the discount.

Four star hotel. Small chain. It would've been $900 a night - 800 sq ft., one bedroom, bar, etc. - which is still low because it was Memorial Day Weekend.

You guys did very well. 25k in NYC for that kind of wedding is extremely respectable. It's great that you did it all yourself and don't feel as if you skimped at all. If my girlfriend hadn't worked for catalogues that contained designer wedding dresses, and didn't have it for free, I'd have a massive problem paying for a dress she'd wear once (even though I'm not paying.) Luckily she saved a dress a few years back that she wanted to wear when she got married. I'm just worried about a few of her Russian relatives... they tend to act like pigs and where we're going, they really, really hate rich russians.

It's not "respectable" - it's downright impossible without all the connections and special discounts. It's awesome to be able to work connections and friends to get a good deal for something of that ticket size. Sadly, I only seem to be able to get discounts on a tie or a pair of jeans

Yeah you're right. I do know that it's a low sum but not having done events in NYC I don't know first hand just how low it really is.