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Married SFers: How much did your wedding cost? - Page 19

post #271 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by gomestar View Post
unsatisfactory home life. Must distribute hate on the internets.

+1
post #272 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by tj100 View Post
But here's the thing, some do. And they're not terrible people, they just have different priorities in life than you do.

Why do you feel the need to judge others and then defend your judgements?

I am not judging anything or anyone. Do what you want and I hope you and your wife are very happy, but people here called expensive weddings crazy and not worth the money when simple is better, long before I came into this thread. In fact, expensive weddings being called crazy seems to be the general consensus these days.
post #273 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter View Post
how did you get that? most people here are saying "fuck what your wife wants for the wedding, do what you want or don't marry the bitch" I'm saying "let her have the things that are important to her, the nature of life is that you will make most of the decisions through life". that's just the way it works out.

Like I said, I probably misread. But what if what is important to your wife is stability and what's important to you is moving to <new place> for <valid reason>? The [admittedly rather quick] cursory read I had of your post indicated that you would favor your own desires in that situation.

Also, I now understand you don't mean it this way, but saying "let your wife decide the wedding, you get to decide the rest of your lives together" sounds like you're giving her a concession prize and don't actually respect her.
post #274 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Hatter View Post
I am not judging anything or anyone.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Hatter View Post
Well if a 100K+ wedding is what your woman needs to make her happy, so be it. It seems plenty of people have women that are as equally happy with a small intimate wedding.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Hatter View Post
And this is why I will be married to her for the rest of my life and most of you will be divorced.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Hatter View Post
My wife doesn't give a shit about big weddings and fancy diamonds, but cleary the ones defending big weddings and fancy diamonds are only doing so, because they are marrying a woman that finds those things to be vastly important for some reason.

post #275 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by deadly7 View Post
Like I said, I probably misread. But what if what is important to your wife is stability and what's important to you is moving to <new place> for <valid reason>? The [admittedly rather quick] cursory read I had of your post indicated that you would favor your own desires in that situation.

Also, I now understand you don't mean it this way, but saying "let your wife decide the wedding, you get to decide the rest of your lives together" sounds like you're giving her a concession prize and don't actually respect her.

It's been that way between men and women for countless years, so why should he change and allow his wife to make any decisions beyond the wedding? That's crazy talk. She should shut the fuck up and be happy she at least got the wedding she wanted.
post #276 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by deadly7 View Post
Like I said, I probably misread. But what if what is important to your wife is stability and what's important to you is moving to <new place> for <valid reason>? The [admittedly rather quick] cursory read I had of your post indicated that you would favor your own desires in that situation.


excellent example - here's what happens, you make 80% or more of the family income. you get offered a job that requires you to move. your wife would like to stay where she is. if she has half a brain, you are going to move. it isn't so much about what you want and what she wants - that's what usually happens.

when we were first married, I worked in India - my wife was a college professor someplace else. I commuted and we didn't relocate, in order to promote her career. it probably cost us a quarter of a million dollars in relocation benefits. she was making 20K or so. after our son was born, she gave up teaching (her choice). she is firmly convinced that it was a bad choice to support her career at that point.

what I "desire" isn't important - but what usually ends up happening is that the man ends up making most of the important decisions. it has nothing to do with what he wants, it has to do with what is best for the family.

Quote:



Also, I now understand you don't mean it this way, but saying "let your wife decide the wedding, you get to decide the rest of your lives together" sounds like you're giving her a concession prize and don't actually respect her.
post #277 of 312
Globetrotter, I think you want to substitute "bread winner" for "man". While men still make more than women, relationships where both partners work, yet one makes 80% of the income are a little less common than you think. That may not be the case on Styleforvm, home of the 250k fallback job.
post #278 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by gladhands View Post
Globetrotter, I think you want to substitute "bread winner" for "man". While men still make more than women, relationships where both partners work, yet one makes 80% of the income are a little less common than you think. That may not be the case on Styleforvm, home of the 250k fallback job.

true - and, frankly, when I was much younger I didn't think that this was going to be the case, but most of my friends have situations that are not equal in terms of income.
post #279 of 312
To get this back on topic:

My wife and I spent next to nothing on a really memorable wedding. We went the destination route, and got married at a boutique hotel in Playa Del Carmen in front of 23 guests. She isn't the type of woman who's been planning her wedding since the was nine years old. Neither of us wanted a big ceremony. Believe me, that helps.

Contrary to what was said earlier in the threak, I don't believe that we transferred the expense to our guests at all. Our friends and family are scattered around the country. We don't share a hometown or live all that close to either set of parents, meaning that all of our guests would have had to fly and stay in a hotel anyway. I know that most of our guests paid less for flight and accomodations than they would have spent had the wedding been held in Boston instead of PDC.
post #280 of 312
Like Globe, GDL and a few other confirmed adults in this thread have said, do as your wife and her family want. Don't get involved in the planning process, at all. You will have plenty of opportunities in this life to wear the pants.

Just don't let her try to dress you or your groomsmen!
post #281 of 312
Thread Starter 
This thread just turned into the men's version of Bride Wars (not that I know wtf goes on in that).
post #282 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pennglock View Post

Just don't let her try to dress you or your groomsmen!

+1
post #283 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pennglock View Post
Like Globe, GDL and a few other confirmed adults in this thread have said, do as your wife and her family want. Don't get involved in the planning process, at all. You will have plenty of opportunities in this life to wear the pants.

Just don't let her try to dress you or your groomsmen!

Nobody here has had a wedding that the wife didn't want, so your point is moot.
post #284 of 312
I wonder how many guys here have a wife that said she wanted a small intimate wedding with 30people tops, but you said no honey, let's spend 100K+ and have the prince charming wedding I always wanted. Anyone here convince their finance, to have a big wedding when she initially wanted a very small one?
post #285 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by gladhands View Post
To get this back on topic:

THANK YOU.
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