Originally Posted by deadly7
Like I said, I probably misread. But what if what is important to your wife is stability and what's important to you is moving to <new place> for <valid reason>? The [admittedly rather quick] cursory read I had of your post indicated that you would favor your own desires in that situation.
excellent example - here's what happens, you make 80% or more of the family income. you get offered a job that requires you to move. your wife would like to stay where she is. if she has half a brain, you are going to move. it isn't so much about what you want and what she wants - that's what usually happens.
when we were first married, I worked in India - my wife was a college professor someplace else. I commuted and we didn't relocate, in order to promote her career. it probably cost us a quarter of a million dollars in relocation benefits. she was making 20K or so. after our son was born, she gave up teaching (her choice). she is firmly convinced that it was a bad choice to support her career at that point.
what I "desire" isn't important - but what usually ends up happening is that the man ends up making most of the important decisions. it has nothing to do with what he wants, it has to do with what is best for the family.
Also, I now understand you don't mean it this way, but saying "let your wife decide the wedding, you get to decide the rest of your lives together" sounds like you're giving her a concession prize and don't actually respect her.