or Connect
Styleforum › Forums › General › General Chat › Married SFers: How much did your wedding cost?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Married SFers: How much did your wedding cost? - Page 18

post #256 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by gdl203 View Post
Directed at the Mad Hater and his fast spiraling descent into trolling hall of fame. Obtuse, offensive, clueless... where is Grandmaster Baggins when we need a douche contest. I wonder why the guy is so animated and passionate about telling everyone with a different approach to their life that they're wrong. My interwebz therapist skills tell me he is deperately trying to compensate for some of his own regrets on the topic - i.e. trying to convince himself by trying to convince all of us.

You rang.
post #257 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by gdl203 View Post
Directed at the Mad Hater and his fast spiraling descent into trolling hall of fame. Obtuse, offensive, clueless... where is Grandmaster Baggins when we need a douche contest.

So everyone who has a different opinion than yours is a troll?
post #258 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwilkinson View Post
They cracked down on socks so we can't use him anymore.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grandmaster Baggins View Post
You rang.
LOL at your miniscule moderating powers

Grandmaster, pls add to your nomination list. kthx
post #259 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by gdl203 View Post
Directed at the Mad Hater and his fast spiraling descent into trolling hall of fame. Obtuse, offensive, clueless... where is Grandmaster Baggins when we need a douche contest. I wonder why the guy is so animated and passionate about telling everyone with a different approach to their lives that they're wrong. My interwebz therapist skills tell me he is deperately trying to compensate for some of his own regrets on the topic - i.e. trying to convince himself by trying to convince all of us.

Understood.
post #260 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter View Post
no, I grew up. sorry, but that is the difference between being a boy and a man. men make choices, and decide where the best place to put their efforts and their money. boys whine and have tantrums and cut off their nose to spite their face.
Age does make a difference, especially for people too young to have ever seriously considered marriage. I had no idea how I'd approach the issue, wasn't even sure I wanted to get married, then I met the right woman and things started changing in my life. I even process a lot of songs differently.

Quote:
if you are a man, you basically get to run your family life for 50 years. you decide where you live, how you live, what the family spends money on. your wife gets to decide a handful of things - one of them being the wedding. men have usually put about 15 minutes thought into the wedding "oh, hey, a barbeque would be cool". women have put 20 years thought into it. let her have her way for 3 hours, you get your way for 50 years. how hard is that to understand?

I would say an increasing number of marriages do not work that way anymore. Mine certainly doesn't. We make most decisions together, especially things that strongly affect both of us. I'd never try to put my foot down on where we move, etc. Her career is just as important as mine, she gets an equal voice on damn near everything. Wedding was the same way, I didn't care about a lot of the details and let her run with it, but it wasn't "her day" or anything like that.
post #261 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gibonius View Post
Age does make a difference, especially for people too young to have ever seriously considered marriage. I had no idea how I'd approach the issue, wasn't even sure I wanted to get married, then I met the right woman and things started changing in my life. I even process a lot of songs differently.



I would say an increasing number of marriages do not work that way anymore. Mine certainly doesn't. We make most decisions together, especially things that strongly affect both of us. I'd never try to put my foot down on where we move, etc. Her career is just as important as mine, she gets an equal voice on damn near everything. Wedding was the same way, I didn't care about a lot of the details and let her run with it, but it wasn't "her day" or anything like that.

Well according to Globetrotter, you are not a man. But you are right, an increasing number of marriages do not work that way anymore.
post #262 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter View Post
being married to somebody who agrees with you isn't what makes a marriage last a long time. being able to compromise and do things that you don't want to do is what makes marriages last a long time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter View Post
I know that you are typing something, but all I see is "blah blah blah"

look, you have your way of doing things. other people have other ways. I don't control my wife's life, but the way things work out is that most major decisions get made by me - my wife has a PhD and has had very responsible positions in life, but for the most part choices around our lives end up being led by me. that is the way the relationship between men and women has been for all of recorded history, and probably all of pre-history as well. again, when you ask the difference between the men and the boys, that is going to be at the top of the list.

So by your own admission your marriage is doomed to fail.
post #263 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by deadly7 View Post
So by your own admission your marriage is doomed to fail.



But he will still be a real man, through his divorce.
post #264 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by deadly7 View Post
So by your own admission your marriage is doomed to fail.

not at all - read back through the thread.

this thread divides up pretty neatly between a group of single boys living in their parents basements who say "if my wife wants a wedding that isn't exactly what I want then I won't marry her" and adult married men who say "pick your fights and let your wife have the wedding she wants because you, as the man, will end up making most of the major decisions that affect your family for the rest of your life" sometimes you get to do what you want, sometimes you have to compromise. the smart man compromises on the things that aren't important.
post #265 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter View Post
not at all - read back through the thread.

this thread divides up pretty neatly between a group of single boys living in their parents basements who say "if my wife wants a wedding that isn't exactly what I want then I won't marry her" and adult married men who say "pick your fights and let your wife have the wedding she wants because you, as the man, will end up making most of the major decisions that affect your family for the rest of your life" sometimes you get to do what you want, sometimes you have to compromise. the smart man compromises on the things that aren't important.

Does the married man not consider his wife's happiness then? Maybe I misread your post but it sounds like you take this authoritarian role, damned what your wife thinks.
post #266 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter View Post
not at all - read back through the thread. this thread divides up pretty neatly between a group of single boys living in their parents basements who say "if my wife wants a wedding that isn't exactly what I want then I won't marry her" and adult married men who say "pick your fights and let your wife have the wedding she wants because you, as the man, will end up making most of the major decisions that affect your family for the rest of your life" sometimes you get to do what you want, sometimes you have to compromise. the smart man compromises on the things that aren't important.
just as there is not such an obvious divide in this thread there's not such an obvious one in the relationships of men and women. I'm not saying it doesn't work for you in this way.
post #267 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter View Post
not at all - read back through the thread.

this thread divides up pretty neatly between a group of single boys living in their parents basements who say "if my wife wants a wedding that isn't exactly what I want then I won't marry her" and adult married men who say "pick your fights and let your wife have the wedding she wants because you, as the man, will end up making most of the major decisions that affect your family for the rest of your life" sometimes you get to do what you want, sometimes you have to compromise. the smart man compromises on the things that aren't important.

The whole living in your parents basement "insult" is an overused internet forum cliche and shows that you can't think for yourself by coming up with your own original insults. Why not start 2011 with some originality and some creative insults without assuming that everyone you disagree with is living in their parents basement.

No one is saying to their soon to be wife "fuck you, I am giving you the wedding that I want you to have and I don't care what you want". Some women just don't give a shit about the stuff your wife finds important.
post #268 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Hatter View Post
Some women just don't give a shit about the stuff your wife finds important.

But here's the thing, some do. And they're not terrible people, they just have different priorities in life than you do.

Why do you feel the need to judge others and then defend your judgements?
post #269 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by deadly7 View Post
Does the married man not consider his wife's happiness then? Maybe I misread your post but it sounds like you take this authoritarian role, damned what your wife thinks.

how did you get that? most people here are saying "fuck what your wife wants for the wedding, do what you want or don't marry the bitch" I'm saying "let her have the things that are important to her, the nature of life is that you will make most of the decisions through life". that's just the way it works out.
post #270 of 312
Quote:
Originally Posted by tj100 View Post
Why do you feel the need to judge others and then defend your judgements?

unsatisfactory home life. Must distribute hate on the internets.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: General Chat
Styleforum › Forums › General › General Chat › Married SFers: How much did your wedding cost?