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Job Referenced:Ethical Question

post #1 of 93
Thread Starter 
OK, I already know the answer to this but I feel bad.

A friend of mine, whom I have known for a long time, used me as a reference for a job. That employer has called me and asked me to fill out some paperwork about him.

You can see where this is going. There are questions about his work ethic, dedication, trustworthiness, etc etc.

He would make a bad employee and I would not hire him. He cuts corners, lies, and wouldn't put stealing past him. He takes the least responsibility for his actions as he possibly can.

Should I feel bad about not recommending him?
post #2 of 93
Is it confidential?
post #3 of 93
If he's a friend I would simply choose not to complete the recommendation. Don't give him a bad recommendation, and don't lie and give him a good one, just forget to send back the paperwork. It's the only way to come out of this.
post #4 of 93
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SpooPoker View Post
Is it confidential?

Ya, it is confidential.
post #5 of 93
Loyalty comes first. You ain't much of a friend if you don't help him get the job and maybe better his life. Who cares what some stranger thinks of you. Help your friend.
post #6 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rugger View Post
OK, I already know the answer to this but I feel bad.

A friend of mine, whom I have known for a long time, used me as a reference for a job. That employer has called me and asked me to fill out some paperwork about him.

You can see where this is going. There are questions about his work ethic, dedication, trustworthiness, etc etc.

He would make a bad employee and I would not hire him. He cuts corners, lies, and wouldn't put stealing past him. He takes the least responsibility for his actions as he possibly can.

Should I feel bad about not recommending him?

If he gets hired and fucks it up it will look very badly on you. If he gets hired and makes the company 300 billion dollars in 24 hours, you'll look like a god. If you think he leans more toward the former instead of the latter, then find a way to discreetly give him bad marks without him finding out it was you.
post #7 of 93
If it were my friend, I'd write two recommendations, one positive and one neutral/negative. But before I send the recommendation, I'd sit down with him and talk to him about why I'm doing it. Next I'd tell him, as his friend, that he cannot cut corners, or lie or think about stealing. Then I wait to see what he has to say. If his answer satisfies me, I will send the positive and tear up the neutral/negative one in front of him.
post #8 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by brown eyes View Post
If it were my friend, I'd write two recommendations, one positive and one neutral/negative.

But before I send the recommendation, I'd sit down with him and talk to him about why I'm doing it. Next I'd tell him, as his friend, that he cannot cut corners, or lie or think about stealing. Then I wait to see what he has to say. If his answer satisfies me, I will send the positive and tear up the neutral/negative one in front of him.

Don't you think your friend would be offended that you are doing this? Just help him get the job and then it's out of your hands. No one is coming for you if he fucks up at the job.
post #9 of 93
Haha your friend deserves this for picking you.
post #10 of 93
Really depends on whether you're in tbe same industry as your friend, or whether you plan to have regular contact with the company to which he's applying. If yes to either or both, don't write the rec.

I like the idea of confronting your friend, being honest with him about your reservations, and asking him to promise not to fuck up. But the whole "I wrote you a good and a bad rec" routine is just going to come across as holier-than-thou and will breed resentment.
post #11 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Carlos View Post
Really depends on whether you're in tbe same industry as your friend, or whether you plan to have regular contact with the company to which he's applying. If yes to either or both, don't write the rec.

I like the idea of confronting your friend, being honest with him about your reservations, and asking him to promise not to fuck up. But the whole "I wrote you a good and a bad rec" routine is just going to come across as holier-than-thou and will breed resentment.

Absolutely and when your friends ask you for favors, it's sort of expected that you will do it as they would do it for you.
post #12 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rugger View Post
A friend of mine, whom I have known for a long time, used me as a reference for a job.

Did he ask you first?

If he did ask you, and you agreed to be available for use as a reference, you need to follow through on your commitment. Which IMHO, is that you have not only to write a reference, but to write a positive reference.

If he did not ask you, but put you down on a form in a state of panic, then I think you have some leeway to decline to write it.

The easiest thing to do is probably to make a point that you have a strong friendship with this person, and then continue the reference - HR should see right through that and totally discount what you write.
post #13 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rugger View Post
OK, I already know the answer to this but I feel bad.

A friend of mine, whom I have known for a long time, used me as a reference for a job. That employer has called me and asked me to fill out some paperwork about him.

You can see where this is going. There are questions about his work ethic, dedication, trustworthiness, etc etc.

He would make a bad employee and I would not hire him. He cuts corners, lies, and wouldn't put stealing past him. He takes the least responsibility for his actions as he possibly can.

Should I feel bad about not recommending him?
you should know...
post #14 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by harvey_birdman View Post
If he's a friend I would simply choose not to complete the recommendation. Don't give him a bad recommendation, and don't lie and give him a good one, just forget to send back the paperwork. It's the only way to come out of this.

+1
post #15 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by taxgenius69 View Post
+1

+10x

small world nowadays.. especially with the advent of the worlzwidezwebz. Things like this have a way of coming back and biting you in the a$$.
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